The hardest part of home education isn’t what you think

When people ask me about home education, they often expect me to talk about curriculum.

Phonics, maths, or how we organise our day.

And yes, all of those things can be difficult.

There are days when the maths lesson goes completely over someone’s head. Days when I wonder whether we are doing enough. Days when I look at the beautiful timetable I created and laugh (or feel so discouraged) because, somehow, it is lunchtime and we have barely made it through the first thing.

A friend recently asked me what I find hardest about home educating my sons, and I realised that my answer had very little to do with education at all.

The hardest part, for me, is carrying the weight of it.

It is knowing that there is no handover at the school gate.

There is no teacher I can quietly assume is keeping an eye on the things I have missed. No institution in the background reassuring me that we are roughly on track. When you choose to educate your children at home, you become acutely aware of just how much of their precious childhood has been entrusted to you. It is equal parts exhilarating and terrifying.

Their education, yes, but also their friendships, their experiences, their confidence, their character, the atmosphere of their days, the things they are exposed to — and the things they aren’t.

And perhaps most confronting of all, me.

Home education has a way of revealing the mother as much as it reveals the child.

My impatience.

My tendency to compare.

My desire to control an outcome.

My fear that I might get this wrong.

My expectation that a good day should look productive, orderly and measurable.

I began home educating thinking primarily about the kind of childhood I wanted to give my boys. I hadn’t quite realised how much the process would require something of me too.

That, I think, has been the hardest part.

Coming Back to What Matters Most

I think every family considering home education has to answer one question.

What do I believe education is actually for?

Is it simply about academic achievement?

Or is it about forming a whole person?

Character, wisdom, curiosity, faith, resilience, relationships, a lifelong love of learning.

Those things don’t fit neatly into an end of term or year report card, yet they matter deeply.

Perhaps This Is the Invitation

Maybe the invitation of home education isn’t simply to teach our children differently. For me, it has been to redefine what success looks like altogether. To stop asking, “Does this look enough?” and begin asking, “Is this helping my children become who they were created to be?”

I am a firm believer that education isn’t only about filling minds, but about shaping hearts. Sometimes the most extraordinary learning happens quietly, invisibly, and during the most ordinary moments. Like around a kitchen table, on long walks, during bedtime conversations, while tying a shoe lace, or loading all the boys into the car.

Those ordinary moments may never look impressive to the outside world- they often don’t look impressive to me!

Yet they have the potential to become the richest education my children will ever receive.

Perhaps that’s the real invitation of home education.

Not to recreate school.

But to rediscover what learning was always meant to be.

Not teaching them.

But learning how to become the kind of mother who can walk alongside them while they learn.

Why Graced for Home?

I, like many women had only one goal in mind as I grew up. Work hard to be competitive in the market place. The best in my field. Get that competitive edge so that I could stand out and land the high paying job with an incredible benefits package. I knew that I wanted to become a mother one day because it was the other natural path that I desired but my entire focus was on career and making money. I was and still am an ambitious, and highly capable and productive woman with several dreams and abilities.

However things started to change for me when I left my first very good corporate job to work part time for my church at that time. I was newly married and I realised that a huge part of me also had a heart for home. I am incredibly passionate about building with my own tribe, having time to intentionally create a life of joy, adventure and success according to what it means to our unique family. I wanted to learn how to be this way.

That’s also when I felt the tension between the two. Seasonally, I came to realise that I couldn’t have the two at the same time. Yet the pull for home became intensely strong when I had my first son. Seeing that new life that my husband and I co created shifted my perspective on life and motherhood entirely.

Choosing to walk confidently in Gods design requires a step of faith- a step away from the marketplace of activities and into the mummy place of the home, which is filled with beauty, love, creativity, purpose and peace”. Sally Clarkson

Yet I also realised that I naturally was entering into motherhood with so much insecurity, fear and confusion regarding my personal role and ability. I wasn’t confident in so many areas, and yet I still had a strong heart to be based from home with my child and now children.

The desire for this blog really is to;

  • Document my personal journey as a Christian woman and mother
  • To document and encourage others on the journey of raising boys
  • I have truly felt afraid to lean into this new version of myself because in alot of ways it confirms the new journey that I am on and I have never considered myself living this- and putting it out there for the world to see. I still coming to terms with a lot of things everyday! Yet I have accepted that this is the most authentic way that I-Alethea can express myself. This is what God has given to me and I am compelled towards it. Especially as I desire to teach my children to keep their hearts open to who God has called them to be and lean into their natural gifts. I have to model this and can’t run away from it.
  • It is making me a better mother.
  • To encourage Christian mothers, and specifically stay at home mothers that we can absolutely do this and grow in confidence managing the home, loving and nurturing our children, and discovering new things within ourselves- our skills etc and still thrive beautifully as individuals. Staying at home does not have to be filled with insecurities.
  • Share my journey of home education and encouraging mothers in this area too, sharing some resources that I make for my children to learn with.

I hope you’ll journey along with me x