There is a quiet kind of courage in saying yes again. To anything.
After three wild-hearted boys, after years of (and ongoing) noisy mornings, several mismatched socks, randomly placed toys, countless trips to A&E, and the deep weariness only we parents know — we are opening our hearts again. Not because it’s easy. Not because we have extra time or empty arms. But because love called, and we answered.
Lord I am grateful.
Where do I begin? I never imagined myself as a mother of 4. but You knew.
After my 3rd boy the feeling I remember most was contentment. I was so thankful that God had signed off on my being a mother to 3 boys! WOW!
Now we welcome our 4th boy!
This fourth child comes not into a calm and quiet life, but into one already brimming — with laughter and chaos, with schedules, sacrifice and love. Overflowing, messy, relentless love.
In many ways, this baby is not the beginning of our story, but a deepening of it.
I remember holding my precious 3rd in my arms and being overcome with peace. As he grew older, I could sense that longing for one more child returning and at first I was very hesitant and unsure because our lives are already so full (and loud). Yet the drawing was strong. Day in and day out I would sit soaked in this desire, until I finally had the courage to mention it to my husband.
Now here we are, a few short years later and welcoming that 4th child into our family. What a miracle. I am so incredibly thankful!
We are choosing, once more, the long nights and nappy changes, the lullabies and an even larger laundry pile.
We’re choosing to be stretched again — physically, emotionally, spiritually — not because we are strong, but because God is.
It’s not lost on me that in a world that says, do less, protect your space, minimise your commitments, here we are — adding. Expanding. Risking. Opening the door wider still.
And yet, how often does God call us not into comfort, but into abundance that costs something? Into a fullness that demands faith?
This child is our yes to a bigger table. A louder house. A fuller heart. Our yes to the mystery of what God can do when we let go of control and lean into His plan, even when it defies our logic.
I think of Mary, visited by an angel, weary with questions, and still she said: Be it unto me according to your word. Not because it was safe. Not because it was simple. But because it was sacred, and she trusted God.
This, too, is sacred.
This fourth baby — known by a detailed and purposeful God — is already teaching me about surrender. About trust. About the miracle of more.
We’re not saying yes to another because we have it all together. We’re doing it because God holds it all together.
For sure there will be days ahead that stretch our patience, our finances, our capacity. But I also believe there will be grace upon grace. There will be moments of beauty in the mundane. There will be glimpses of eternity in the way he curls his hand around my finger or when a big brother whispers gentle words to him, and forms a new bond with a new soul.
Our hearts are not divided. They are multiplied.
And so, we welcome you, little one. You are not our afterthought.
With trembling hands and full hearts, we say again: yes.
I am learning that love willingly embraces the several webs of sacrifice and weaves it all together to create an image of something most beautiful.
One of the struggles that I’ve had, is making my home work for my family, and putting systems in place that help me stay focused with daily tasks, remind me of our why, and help me to work efficiently without the fluster. I am big on ease. I want my life to not only look like it is run smoothly, but feel it too. In order to achieve this, I realised that I had to put some things in place that would work for ME, and help me to be encouraged as I juggle the many moving parts that make up our household. So let’s dive into 5 things that I do, and would love to implement to make my home run with intent and purpose.
First things first…
It is really easy to pattern our wants and needs after another family or our closest friends who seem to have their lives figured out. While great for motivation and inspiration, I am learning that it is crucial to know where God is taking me and my family, and to be sensitive to the season that we are in. I think on things like what type of personalities live under my roof and how can I best cater to them? What do I need to watch out for that is unique to my family and the legacy that we are trying to build? What are the strengths in my children that I want to nurture, and how can I encourage growth in the weak areas? How can I keep my marriage feeling fresh? How can I keep myself feeling fresh in the busyness and chaos of it all?
I’d start by asking yourself some of these questions, because the answers will reveal the parts that will make up the unique blueprint of your family, and this can be built out from. Straightaway, it gives us work to do in forming a framework, and putting systems in place to help support our family’s overall goals and dreams! This makes me feel excited!
Creating an efficiently run home involves a combination of organisation, consistent communication, and consistent use of smart management.
By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established
Proverbs 24:3
There’s a practical side to it such as decluttering and physical organisation to help keep your house tidy and organised, and there is also a functional aspect which is the scheduling, spiritual input, sensitivity, planning and reviewing.
So let’s start!
Hold regular family meetings to write down and talk about your bigwhy.
When Stan and I were courting we sat down and wrote out our dreams for the family that we desired to build. It was such an exciting time- not knowing what the future would look like but partnering together and with God to cast a vision for a life that would bear good fruit and bring fulfillment to us as a couple. We wrote down big ideals and let our hearts reach for them before they were even made manifest in the flesh, and this gave us a common focus. We are 8 years in now, and have reviewed, edited and added new things to our vision as our family has expanded and we are living the reality of it all.
When we decided to walk down the home education path (after our second son was born), I naturally didn’t know where to start. A wise older woman told me to remember that my family and I are part of a bigger plan that God has and that our home is a base for success. So with that in mind, Stan and I wrote out our new family mission statement which included who we are as a family, what we desire to do and be, where we want to go, how we hope to get there, the principles that govern our household and why we wanted to pursue certain paths. We needed a space where we could dream and plan out how we were going to create incredible moments with our tribe and the statement did just that.
This document that you work on (and keep updating) is such an impactful declaration that helps to shape and give a visual of how you want to live out your days. It clarifies direction, purpose, focus, values, beliefs, identity and motivation. It’s a great way to hold us accountable and remind us of the good and the big in the difficult moments and seasons. For me, it has helped me to be efficient in running my household because if it isn’t in or near our plans, we don’t need to spend time or energy on it! I feel immense gratitude and appreciation when I visualise this plan that God has permitted us to create. We share some of these points with the boys as our desire is to have the whole family on board with the vision and moving as one. Eventually, as they grow older, I look forward to hearing and adding their input into the mission statement. What a privilege!
Plan out your meals.
Another big very practical area that can really make me feel stuck, but is so important to running my home efficiently. If I don’t have an idea of what everyone in my house is eating for the week, it creates overwhelm for me as the questions and requests of “so what’s for lunch today?” roll in. It also takes up more time for me. You may be great at thinking on the spot, and enjoy the spontaneity- I am not one of those women! I need to have a rough idea of what I have in my fridge and when I am going to cook it so it reduces stress and helps me to move with ease and good timing on our busy days of sports, swimming, church, and social events.
Having a weekly meal plan helps me to incorporate a variety of foods and flavours into our diet. This helps prevent monotony and we look forward to certain days where we will really enjoy! Our favourites are traditional Ghanaian food such as beans stew and plantain, jollof rice with meat or chicken and yam and stew. The boys aren’t too keen on their vegetables (ha!) but when I plan their meals, I remind myself to add one or two greens so they can get used to seeing them! A meal plan also helps me to prepare for and create additional special moments on certain days if I want to because I have left room in my brain for this- rather than filling it with stress and overwhelm. For example on Fridays, we’ll usually have chips night, and because this has become a little tradition, I add on salads, vary the protein option or add salad options if I want to for that week.
Make grocery lists.
Tagging on from the previous point, making a grocery list is a very important aspect of keeping your financial goals and budgeting in check, and knowing exactly what you need to purchase before you enter the supermarket. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve gone into the supermarket without a list and just wandered up and down the aisles picking up random things that don’t seem too expensive. When I get to the till, I start sweating and doing the hard work of eliminating items as they are being scanned into my bag. It has all been a little chaotic a few times, and I have now learned my lesson! It’s all too easy to get distracted and double your shopping bill this way so I have learned to be more mindful and ask myself questions as I walk around.
Our goal here is to enhance our shopping experience (actually enjoy it), beat overwhelm and to work efficiently. If we know what we need to buy for the week because it is on a grocery list, we can also reduce food waste, use up all of our ingredients at home before repurchasing and prevent impulse purchases that we later regret. Checking my cupboards before I leave my house is such a useful exercise and I have removed items from my grocery list that day because already had them available in our house!
Don’t forget to delegate.
Remember, this is our home. We are working hard to make it run smoothly and to be enjoyable for all of the people living in it. When it comes to the area of delegation I used to find it a challenge asking my husband and my sons to help with anything because I thought that it was the womanly ideal to do it all by myself- until burnout and overwhelm told me something else. I came to a realisation that even though in our household it is my overall responsibility and privilege to manage the household, rather than over loading myself, I had to create management systems that would make it possible to run the house well, work efficiently and with ease, and also enjoy the work.
Delegation is a natural must according to the needs of our house and how my husband and I choose to run it. One of our family goals, is to work as a team to keep our home environment clean and comfortable and in order to achieve this, we all have to work together in our areas. We want to normalise hard work and daily responsibilities so the boys all have small tasks that they complete each day with our help such as sweeping the floors, tidying up their toys, putting their books away and making their beds everyday.
Roles and responsibilities gives the family a shared ideal, contributes to a more efficient, harmonious household, and encourages teamwork. We don’t issue rewards when tasks are complete because our perspective is that this is a very natural part of life and we should have pride in wanting to keep our environment well. We do recognise and express gratitude for each person’s efforts when a task is completed well as this encourages a culture of appreciation and mutual respect for each person’s contribution to the overall family goal. Most of the time the boys are enthusiastic to complete their tasks when we encourage and remind them that in doing so they are keeping their space nice and neat.
Create shortcuts/hacks and reminders.
This is an area that I want to implement more in my home. We have what we call a command centre in our kitchen- which is essentially big white board that I use to detail the boys weekly schedule (sports, learning and routines), and jot down reminders and scripture for the day or week. Displaying important information, schedules, and to-do lists gives easy access and a snapshot to all family members to see what our week looks like and it is helpful to keep things moving during the week.
When it comes to hacks, I want to get better at this! Living with multiple children can make it hard to feel like the house is clean and organised most of the time- It just won’t be if your children are at home with you full time so in this area I currently implement the 2 minute reset rule.
Usually at midway point in the day, we’ll have a quick reset and tidy up of toys, shoes, the kitchen and the boys play area to prevent these tasks building up into huge mountains by the end of the day when I am feeling really tired.
I hope you have enjoyed reading some of the tips on how to keep an efficient home, and maybe you’ll find one or two of the points helpful. Comment below and let me know what systems you put into place to help you run your home efficiently!
Home Education is an exciting and daunting journey that we have embarked on! In this post I am sharing some insights into why we have chosen this path. Our why acts as a framework from which we desire to build a life of deep meaning and adventure with our children and on the days when it feels like I am being completely buried in demands and needs, it helps to anchor me.
Before I became a mother, and even after, I was never the woman who knew that she would want to home educate my children. In fact I had never heard of home education/homeschooling until I had my second son and my husband suggested it to me as a very viable option in introducing them to life and learning.
Although I knew that I wanted to do something different for my boys, I must admit that this really blew things out of the water for me. I felt instant overwhelm at the thought of teaching them and all I could see were my shortcomings and inadequacies. I threw myself into a lot of reading, prayer and thinking about this journey. If we were going to do it, i knew that it would change so much for us as a family.
What helped me greatly during the first few months was to speak with other mothers further along on their journey of home educating. This filled me with great encouragement and helped me to flesh out our personal answers to why we home educate our 3 boys. Our why acts as a framework from which we desire to build a life of deep meaning and adventure with our children and on the days when it feels like I am being completely buried in demands and needs, it helps to anchor me.
‘Education is an atmosphere, a discipline, a life.’ Charlotte Mason
For our family, here are some of the reasons that we have chosen to adventure down the path of home education;
Firstly, to instill a Biblical worldview in them
The whole of our life is built on the truth, hope and life that knowing Jesus brings. He illuminates our days and gives it great purpose, and it is our desire to introduce this in our home as we do life everyday as a family.
We want to offer the boys a different route to “success”. Success is not what mass society tells us it is. There is not one path to it. No to products of the system
I think it goes without saying that success is not linear, and as a ‘product’ of the education system, I didn’t know this! We really want to spend time expanding and encouraging the boys to think and live outside of the norm so they won’t be hesitant or afraid to explore and lean into the gifts that God has already put within them.
Character character character
One of the strong value pillars that we want to nurture as it underpins all that they will do, and the opportunities that will open up for them. Character traits such as respect, compassion, responsibility, integrity, and honesty, are just a few of the areas that help us make good choices, develop self-esteem, and become responsible, caring individuals.
Focusing on the tailoring and personalisation of education based on their gifting and strengths
This is another area that I am excited about! Nurturing the individual strengths in each boy will help them to build self confidence in their learning style and thrive! I love that I’ll have the time to see each boy..
A focus on our home (relationships) and faith as the nucleus from which all things grow and are nurtured. Normalise togetherness.
Redeeming family time is really important to us. Building bonds and deep relationships is crucial. That takes time, investment, intentionality, creativity, sensitivity, vision and perseverance. I just know that the seeds sown into this area of our lives will reap wonderful results and blessings in the future.
Preparing them with life skills from an earlier age as we do life with them on a daily basis
Doing daily life in a very normal and natural way introduces the boys to hard work and the reality of being together as a team. Life skills are normalised from an early age and hopefully enjoyed! ha!
We want to move away from performance driven learning and inspire a personal desire to learn, grow and thrive
This area is a sensitive one because I think that you can either thrive, or crumble when it comes to constant testing. Ultimately though I just don’t believe that it is a true reflection of a person. I do think that it has its place, but when done from an early age it can create a deep insecurity in a young heart and place a spotlight on a weak area to the neglect of the other great areas that are within a child. More will probably be said on this in a blog post!
We want a life of adventure!
The flexibility of living a life off peak is so exciting!
At home, I can make sure we have mastery of subjects, go at the right pace for each child, have one-on-one (not one-on-twenty) teaching, and I can tailor my curriculum to their needs and our family values.
We’ll be sure to tweak this list as our family grows and our needs change.
gracedforhome.com 