Motherhood is a journey filled with unparalleled joy, deep deep love, moments of sheer wonder, and an equal measure of complete unpredictability and overwhelm. The word itself evokes a flood of emotions that fills our hearts in the most beautiful way. But I’ve got to be real: motherhood also brings tremendous exhaustion, doubt, and sometimes a deep sense of inadequacy.

Can I be even more honest? This has got to be one of the most challenging roles that I have ever undertaken. As a Christian mother, I often find myself asking God, “Why does this feel so hard and overwhelming?” “Why don’t I always look and feel as though I am at ease on this journey- and I am only 6 years in!”

In this post, I wanted to share some thoughts on the challenging moments in motherhood from an honest and authentic place, as well as from the perspective of the redemptive and transforming hope that we have in Christ.

The Weight of Responsibility in motherhood

As I reflect on this, I believe that one of the primary reasons motherhood feels so hard is due to the immense responsibility it carries. From the very moment I found out I was expecting my first child and boy, my brain naturally went into overdrive. An overwhelming sense of responsibility took hold of me because suddenly, here I was, entrusted with the life and well-being of a whole tiny human – made in God’s image. The weight of making the right decisions—whether it’s about health, education, or instilling values in our children can feel incredibly heavy on our hearts. I now have three boys and I am always thinking about ways to train and nurture good character in them. We go to bed with a lot on our minds, and wake up with our brains running at 100 miles per hour.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

This verse both inspires and instructs us to be diligent in our parenting. One of my take aways from this verse is the power of habits in the area of training. No matter what it is- good or bad, we are training our children to believe, accept and understand life from a particular perspective. The seeds we sow now, will be implanted in their hearts and shape their future later on. Being faithful to trust that God will water these seeds in their hearts helps to ease the anxiety and overwhelm that comes with such a responsibility.

While we play a significant role in our children’s lives, ultimately, their journey is in God’s hands. He loves them even more than we do, and He has a plan for their lives. God is sovereign and He works all things for our good; even our parenting blunders!

Often, the weight of responsibility also falls upon us when it comes to home management. Balancing the task of maintaining a clean home while looking after children can feel like a never-ending battle. There are days when the laundry piles up, toys are scattered everywhere, and the dishes seem to multiply each time we walk through the kitchen. It’s easy to stress about keeping everything spotless, but I’ve learned to adjust my expectations and find a balance that works for my family.

To ease some of the stress in this area, we can focus on creating a home that is functional and comfortable rather than perfect. I’ve started involving my children in the cleaning and laundry process. It not only lightens my load but also teaches them responsibility. We turn chores into fun activities, like having a race to see who can pick up the most toys or playing music while we clean. It’s not always smooth sailing, but by embracing a bit of mess and finding joy in the process, I’ve discovered that a clean home and happy children can coexist, even if it means things aren’t always picture-perfect. This approach has brought more peace and laughter into our home, reminding me that the goal is not perfection, but a loving and nurturing environment, and a balance that helps me to carry my load well.

The Sacrifice of Self

Motherhood requires so much self-sacrifice. From the moment conception occurs, our body begins to change in remarkable ways. Hormonal shifts cause everything from morning sickness to mood swings. The body starts to make room for the growing baby, which often leads to discomfort and pain. As the baby grows, organs shift, the spine adjusts, and our bodies carry additional weight. Stretch marks, swelling, and changes in skin texture are all things that we have to deal with- not to mention the moment of birth and all that comes with it. It truly is an extraordinary journey.

There are sleepless nights, countless nappy changes, and a never-ending list of demands. There are some days when I feel like I’ve lost myself completely. My own dreams and desires often take a backseat to the needs of my children. On one particularly challenging day, I remember looking at my tired face in the mirror, the incoming grey hairs, postpartum hair loss and thinking “wow, I feel like I have lost so much”.

The things I once enjoyed—reading a good book, going for a jog, even just taking a quiet moment to myself—have became rare luxuries with very young children. The sacrifice is very real, and yet I am humbled as I think of this role as a mere shadow of the life of Christ and all He had to give up so we could have life in Him. His sacrifice and death meant life for us! What a great call when we walk down this path. We are called to lay down our lives for our children, but in doing so, we must also remember to find time to replenish our spirits and care for ourselves, seeking strength and renewal in our relationship with Christ.

The demands of motherhood can make it seem like there’s no room for anything else. But over time, I’ve learned the importance of self-care. Finding time for myself, even in small ways, helps me to recharge. Whether it’s spending a few minutes in prayer and reflection each morning or taking a walk in the evening, these moments help me to center myself and draw closer to God.

Creating a “thrive list” has been a game-changer for me in navigating the demands and sacrifice in motherhood. This list includes all the things that bring me joy and fulfillment such as reading a good book, taking a walk in nature, enjoying a hot cup of tea, or spending quiet time in prayer. By intentionally setting aside time to engage in this, I ensure that I don’t lose myself in the daily responsibilities of motherhood. It’s a reminder that nurturing my own well-being is essential, not only for me but also for my ability to be the best mother I can be to my boys. Making space for what I love helps me to thrive, maintaining a sense of balance and joy in the beautiful chaos of raising children.

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The Battle Against Perfectionism

One of the areas that can make motherhood feel so hard in today’s world, is the pressure to be the “perfect” mother because of what we see online and on the television. Social media often bombards us with images of seemingly flawless families and this can make us question our own abilities and worth. It’s filled with images of spotless homes, gourmet meals, and perfectly behaved children as people share their highlight reels. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison and feel like we are not measuring up when we constantly feast on these images and videos. We worry about whether we are doing enough, whether our children are thriving, and whether we measure up to other mothers as we only think about all the things that we aren’t doing.

However, Romans 3:23 reminds us, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We are not called to be perfect; we are called to be faithful. Our imperfections and struggles are opportunities to lean on God’s grace and to teach our children about His unconditional love and forgiveness. By embracing our imperfections, we show our children that it is okay to make mistakes and that God’s grace is sufficient for all our shortcomings.

My home might be messy, my meals might not be gourmet, and my children definitely have their difficult moments as do I, but that’s okay. Responding to God’s redemptive offer time and time again helps us to keep our hearts focused on what truly matters, which is a home filled with love.

Finding Strength in Community

Motherhood can feel isolating, especially when we face challenges that we think no one else understands. However, we are not meant to walk this journey alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 tells us, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

Finding a community of fellow mothers has been a lifeline for me. Whether through church groups, parenting classes, or online forums, sharing my experiences with others who understand has lightened my load. We laugh together, cry together, and lift each other up just in the moment we need it most.

I remember the first time I attended our first Homeschool co-op group. I was nervous and a bit reluctant to share my struggles. However, as I listened to other mothers speak about their own challenges and triumphs, I felt a sense of camaraderie. We were all in this together. Over time, these women have become a support system for me. Knowing that I’m not alone in my struggles has been incredibly comforting. That’s why this space Graced for Home is so precious. It is a space for us to join hands, be encouraged, share and be inspired to continue on our journey.

Embracing God’s Plan

Ultimately, the challenges of motherhood remind us to trust in God’s plan for our lives and the lives of our children. Jeremiah 29:11 offers us hope: “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

When motherhood feels hard, we can find solace in knowing that God is not just with our children, but with us too, guiding us through every difficulty and rejoicing with us in every triumph. By surrendering our worries and burdens to Him, we can find peace and assurance that we are not alone in this journey.

There are days when I question if I’m doing enough, if I’m making the right choices, if I’m a good mother. The chaos can be so overstimulating for me to the point of shut down. In those moments, I turn to God in prayer. I ask for His guidance, His wisdom, and His peace. I remind myself of His promises and His faithfulness. Trusting in God’s plan doesn’t mean that motherhood will be easy, but it does mean that we are not alone. He is with us, every step of the way, providing the strength and grace we need to help us raise our little ones.