Tag: life

When I felt like I was losing myself — and found something deeper

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Somewhere between the third load of laundry and the fourth spilled cup of juice on the carpet, I walked into the toilet, looked in the mirror and wondered — What is this, and where did I go?

I’m a wife. A mother to three precious souls. A homemaker. A nurturer. A giver. And I love them — fiercely. Yet it doesn’t always keep away the quiet ache, a whisper I can’t quite ignore; I miss me.

It’s not that I want to run away from this life. It’s that sometimes I wonder if I’ve been swallowed up by it.

There was a time not long ago when I felt so seen. I ran a small stationery business — The Echoes of Her Heart. It was more than paper and pretty things. It was a ministry. A space where I could pour encouragement into the hearts of Christian women through words and beauty and intentional design. It gave me a voice. It gave others hope. And in it, I felt purposeful — like I was doing something that mattered beyond my four walls.

Closing that chapter wasn’t easy. I let it go slowly, with tears and prayers, not because it stopped meaning something — but because God was shifting the season. He was calling me inward, deeper into the quiet, deeply incredible work of motherhood and building up my home. And honestly? That surrender and shift felt a little like death.

I used to feel independent. Now I ask permission just to go to the bathroom alone.

I used to feel accomplished. Now my victories are things no one sees: a meltdown calmed, a sibling fight diffused, a meal made from what looked like an empty fridge.

The world doesn’t clap for these things. And sometimes, honestly, neither do I.

But also, somewhere in the quiet, I hear a different voice — not my own, and not the world’s.

“Whoever loses their life for My sake will find it.”
— Matthew 10:39

Could it be… that what feels like losing myself is actually where I’m being found?

Not in the platforms I once held, but in the hands and hearts I now hold every day.
Not in being known, but in being faithful, loving, kind, and generous with my life in a different way.
Not in independence, but in total, daily dependence on the grace and strength of God.

I’m learning that letting go of The Echoes of Her Heart wasn’t the end of my purpose — it was a redirection. A reminder that my identity isn’t in what I produce, and not even in motherhood, but in Who holds me. And that ministry doesn’t end just because the form changes. Sometimes it just moves to the kitchen floor, the bedtime story, the sweet hugs and pecks from my sons.

This season asks more of me than I ever thought I had to give. But it’s also giving me something back — a deeper love, a stronger faith, a truer sense of self.

So no, I don’t think that I’ve lost myself in motherhood.

I’m being refined and re-defined.

Not erased. Rewritten.
Not emptied. Poured out — and filled with something better than I ever planned.

And maybe, just maybe, the version of me I’m becoming is closer to who I was made to be all along.

Reframing the perspective for stay at home mums

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Choosing motherhood and homemaking is far from a wasted life.

In a world that often equates success with visibility, speed, and accolades, choosing a life of motherhood and homemaking can feel quietly radical.

It’s a path full of unseen moments—toys everywhere, whispered prayers of desperation, patient corrections, and countless acts of service that rarely make headlines. But what the world overlooks, God treasures. This life—your life—is not small. It is sacred.

This post is an invitation to see your everyday with new eyes. To shift from simply surviving the tasks of home and motherhood to embracing them as part of a deeper calling. You’ll find encouragement to anchor your heart in truth, to find purpose in the small things, and to remember that your role carries eternal weight—even when no one else sees it.

What I feel

“This matters”. It is a constant, inner dialogue between my heart and mind—reminding myself that this path, though often unseen or undervalued, holds deep meaning and purpose.

Culture tells me that a successful life looks a certain way—the way of the majority. Because it has been glamorised, measured, and praised, so anything outside that mold can feel small or insignificant.

But the truth is, shaping a home is no small task. Nurturing children, creating peace in a space, building traditions, and tending to the needs of a family requires wisdom, strength, and a kind of love that doesn’t always receive applause. There are no promotions or performance reviews here—only the quiet, sacred rhythms of service and presence.

Still, there are days when the lies whisper louder than truth. Days when dishes pile up, children cry non stop, don’t listen and fight all day, and the world outside feels like it’s rushing ahead while I move slowly, wearily and deliberately, through another load of laundry. I sometimes wonder, Is this enough? Am I enough? And in those moments, I have to claw my way back to what I know deep down: that the unseen work of love is never wasted.

I’m learning that success isn’t always visible, and won’t always feel instant. Sometimes it looks like a child who feels safe, a marriage strengthened by small acts of kindness, or a home filled with peace and a warm meal rather than “perfect”. These things can’t be measured by certificates of well done or accolades, but they matter—deeply. I may not be building a career by the world’s standards, but I’m building something far more eternal: hearts, values, and a legacy of love.

Being at home is a deeply meaningful calling that I am finding is not just shaping my children, but also changing me.

Here are a few thoughts that I hold onto to encourage myself on this journey. I hope they’ll also help you in reframing your perspective if you are a stay at home mum.

1. Recognise the eternal value of your role

It’s easy to overlook the significance of what you do when so much of it happens behind closed doors and without recognition. But motherhood and homemaking are not just tasks—they are eternal investments. Instead of seeing homemaking as mundane, view it as a God-given calling to shape and nurture your family. Proverbs 31:27 says, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Every meal prepared, every gentle and firm correction, every bedtime story and prayer whispered over a sleeping child is a seed planted into a soul. Yes, these quiet, repetitive acts may seem ordinary, and can get tiresome, but in God’s eyes, they are weighty with purpose. We are shaping hearts, anchoring lives, and reflecting His love in the most tangible way. We shouldn’t underestimate the eternal value of our role—it reaches far beyond what the eye can see.

2. Shift from “just a mum” to “A builder of the home”

I heard a good friend of mine refer to herself in this way and it struck me deeply. I thought “wow what a beautiful and thoughtful way to describe your presence and role in your home”.

Maybe you’ve heard it said,—or have said it yourself—with a shrug: “I’m just a mum” ” I stay at home with the kids”. After your journey of pregnancy and childbirth, that phrase just carries a weight of dismissal that doesn’t belong. Motherhood is not a lesser calling; it is a foundational one. How quick we are to forget this.

When we shift our mindset from just a mum to a builder of the home, we begin to see our days differently. We are not merely managing messes—we are laying bricks of stability, love, and faith. We are crafting the atmosphere our families breathe. A builder is intentional, strong, and purpose-driven—and that is exactly what you are. You’re not filling time; you’re forming lives.

The world may minimise homemaking, or trivialise it, but Scripture elevates it. Titus 2:4-5 encourages women to love their families and care for their homes. Instead of saying, “I’m just a stay-at-home mum,” say, “I am building a home filled with love, faith, and peace.” Our work is foundational to a thriving household.

3. Find purpose in the small things

So much of homemaking and motherhood is made up of the small things—folding socks, wiping counters, answering endless questions, preparing yet another meal. It can feel unnoticed, repetitive, and, at times, insignificant. I’ve had days when I felt like I would explode with the overwhelm, yet it’s in these very moments that purpose quietly blooms. I know that God doesn’t just measure worth by grand gestures or public applause; He sees faithfulness in the hidden places, and I have to remind myself that when I choose to serve with love in the mundane, I am living out a holy calling. The small things—done with a willing heart—are not small to Him. They are sacred building blocks of a life poured out in love.

When the days feel heavy or unnoticed, pause and whisper a short prayer over what you’re doing—“Lord, let this simple act be an offering of love.” It helps shift your focus from the task to the purpose behind it. Even a folded towel can become holy ground when done with intention and grace.

4. Prioritise personal & spiritual growth

In the busyness of serving everyone else, it’s easy to forget that your soul needs tending too. But personal and spiritual growth aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines. This is one of the areas that I struggle in often due to sheer exhaustion and lack of motivation at times.

Yet when we pour out daily for our families, we also need space to be poured into- well. Growing in your faith, learning new things, or simply taking quiet moments to reflect are not selfish acts—they’re wise and necessary. A nourished soul creates a nourished home. The more rooted you are in truth, the more grace, patience, and love you’ll have to give. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and God never asks us to run dry.

I start my day—even if it’s just five minutes—with a verse, a journal, or a whispered prayer before the house wakes. It doesn’t have to be long or perfect. What matters is the consistency of showing up and making space for your heart to breathe.

5. See homemaking as a ministry

It can take time to view our homes as a place of hospitality, love, and discipleship. I used to believe that anything worth doing had to be seen and felt by the masses, however ministry doesn’t only happen on stages or in mission fields; it happens right here—in our kitchens, gardens, and bedtime routines. When you begin to see your home as holy ground, the ordinary transforms into something sacred. Your faith is lived out in real time, shaping hearts in the most personal and lasting way.

We are the first example of Christ our families see day in and day out. Our kindness teaches grace, our patience teaches peace, and our sacrifice teaches love over time. Though this kind of ministry may not be noticeable immediately, its impact reaches far into eternity. It’s important to train our minds to start viewing our daily work through the lens of worship. Whisper this simple reminder to yourself: “This is not just work—it’s worship. This is not just a house—it’s a haven.” When we frame our homemaking as service to God, even the smallest acts take on eternal significance.

6. Embrace the season you’re in

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” It’s a verse I think about often because it helps to center me in the truth that nothing truly lasts forever. Motherhood and homemaking may feel all-consuming now, but this season is temporary. Every season of life brings its own rhythm—some fast and full, others slow and stretching. It’s easy to look ahead and long for the next stage, or to look back and grieve what’s passed (guilty). Yet there is beauty and purpose right where we are.

God doesn’t waste seasons.

Whether you’re in the thick of newborn days, navigating school years, or adjusting to a quieter home, there is something He wants to teach you here. Embracing the season you’re in doesn’t mean it’s easy—it means we are willing to see it as meaningful, even in the mess, the mundane, or the mystery.

When we stop resisting the present and start receiving it, peace begins to grow. It frees us from comparison and expectation and allows us to truly live the moments we’ve been given. This season—whatever it looks like—is part of your story, part of your shaping, and part of the legacy you’re building.

Here’s a tip for you: write down three things each day that are unique to this season and thank God for them. Gratitude softens the edges and helps our hearts settle into the now.

Final thoughts

To the women quietly walking this road—those who have chosen to pour their lives into homes, children, and the unseen corners of daily life—know this: your work matters. It is not small. It is not second-rate. You are part of something sacred, something that will echo through generations. When the world questions your worth, hold fast to the truth: choosing love, presence, and faithfulness is never a wasted life. In fact, it may be the most meaningful work of all.

blooming flowers in vase on table at home

The beauty of homemaking

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

One of the beautiful things about homemaking is that as women and mothers we have the gift and the ability to create a beautiful environment in which everybody that lives in it feels loved, treated as though they belong and nurtured so they thrive.

It requires our undivided intentional attention. Our heart, our soul, our efforts, our time, our style, our sacrifice, our willingness, our openness, our strength, our lives. The beauty found in homemaking is really in our ability to personalise and tailor a wholesome life for the people closest to us, to keep loving the one that we have chosen to commit to for the rest of our lives, and to serve the people who have grown and come from our very own bodies.

It is hard, beautiful sacrificial work. It is a worthwhile work that reveals a lot within us so that we can grow and develop in character. The home stands as a testament to the beauty and life of diligent hands and a faithful heart. Within the walls of our homes, joy and sorrow are shared, burdens are lightened, and the spirit finds solace.

The dining table has the potential to become an altar of fellowship, where laughter echoes, tears are gently wiped away, and the bonds of family and friendship are strengthened over shared meals and meaningful conversations. It is in this sacred space that love is nurtured and memories are sown. It is akin to a garden of life where seeds are sown into the hearts of children. Such is the sacred art of homemaking, a divine vocation, where earthly tasks become heavenly acts, and a humble abode is transformed into a haven of holy love.

If we look closely enough, we’ll see God’s goodness in what He has given to us. Our portion is evident of His faithfulness.

Homemaking is a tender art, a symphony of daily rituals that breathe life and love into a home. From the sweep of a broom to the arranging of fresh flowers, each task is a stroke of comfort and care if we see it that way. The homemaker’s touch can bring warmth to every corner, infusing the air with a fragrance that only a woman can bring to her environment when she loves it. It’s in these small, thoughtful gestures that a house becomes a haven, a place where the soul finds rest and the heart feels cherished.

In the morning when we wake up we get to decide on the tone that will be set for our homes. It can be filled with so much purpose, even in the midst of difficulty and challenge. The clinking of dishes, the rustling of pages as lists are made and tasks are planned, all contribute to a rhythm that reflects the reality of a household filled with life.

As a homemaker, you get the chance to dress each room, giving it a story, curated with love and attention to detail and reflecting the unique personality and values of those who live there. As a mama to little children, the season is extremely busy and exhausting. My days begin very early, and end late. The talking never ends, and the training is nonstop It isn’t easy. It requires much work and intentionality. It requires our life, and it is worth every seed sown.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of motherhood and faith. If you found comfort and encouragement in this post, I invite you to explore more of my writings on similar topics.

Why is motherhood so hard?

How do I balance family and personal life?

9 hacks to help you thrive in motherhood

Affirmations for mothers at home

On my blog, you’ll discover a wealth of stories, tips, and reflections aimed at nurturing your spirit and supporting you through the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

From practical advice on balancing daily responsibilities to heartfelt reflections on deepening your relationship with God, there’s something for every season of motherhood. I’ve shared real-life experiences, lessons learned, and moments of grace that I hope will resonate with you and provide the encouragement you need.

Visit my blog for more posts on creating a peaceful home, finding joy in the little moments, and leaning into God’s strength amidst the challenges. Let’s continue this journey together, growing in faith and love, one step at a time.

Alethea

crop pregnant black woman touching belly

I am feeling lost in motherhood

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Musings of a 30 something year old Christian mother with 3 boys.

One of the most suffocating and overwhelming feelings, is the one of feeling completely lost and unsure about the journey of entering and experiencing motherhood. In this post I’ll be sharing some personal thoughts, heart and experience.

A high achiever

I’ve always been a high achiever and producer, fully buying into the culture’s message that I can be anything and do anything. While that may be true in a wider context, it isn’t so much when you bring it down to a more micro level. I chased hard after the title of 1st place on the podium and achieved it multiple times. I had my dreams of what success would look and feel like and pursued it with all the time that I had as a single woman.

While I built up that area of my life however, I didn’t give enough time, thought, planning and nurture to the other part of my life that I desired which was marriage and motherhood. Sure, it was there as part of my overall plan, however it didn’t occur to me to devote much preparation of my heart, finances and life plans to it straight away. I naively thought that I’d have children and neatly fold them into the plans that I had going on and keep it moving.

Society’s message to us

Modern society fails to encourage and prepare women for the realities of motherhood, and this further intensifies what will already be a new and challenging role to exist in. We live in a world that frequently emphasises career achievements and personal independence and the sacrificial and demanding nature of motherhood is often times undervalued and overlooked. In addition to that, I think that because we live in a culture the heavily pushes one message, it naturally filters through into our homes, and the expectation is that when you finish school, you’ll go and get a job and start earning.

While there is nothing wrong with this, I do believe that it is important for women to talk about and begin to plan how they’ll weave in work with family life when the time comes. Never in my mind or heart did I perceive that it would be an all consuming, life changing event that would completely shift the course that I was on and challenge my character, faith, values and heart. I had an aggressive edge to me that I can now admit was a lower view of marriage and motherhood. Not that it wasn’t important, but it just wasn’t the priority. My value, identity and reward was found in the applause that I received from the marketplace; the plaques, certificates and trophies from strangers.

Yet there was a tug toward motherhood which I believe God gives us. What grace. It’s a natural wiring for (the majority) of women to desire to have children but because I had devoted so much of my time and energy in the other direction, I felt completely alien to this new world of motherhood. I remember the joy of finding out that I was expectant with my first born son, and also the complete terror that plagued me at the thought of entering into the complete unknown. A place where I for once would not have full control. My anxiety went into overdrive.

What is our value tied to?

Our value is tied up in the external things that we achieve, and the inward validation is like the strongest dopamine hit running through our veins. It feels unthinkable to lay that aside to enter into a completely new experience and embrace all that comes with it in motherhood (which is mostly unseen, and “in the trenches” work). For me, I struggled with the genuine disappointment of having wasted time and money getting a degree that I didn’t fully get to use because I was now a mother. I wanted a “big” life, which when I think about it now, was one driven heavily by consumerism and the ability to spend on whatever I wanted.

I thought about the sacrifice of motherhood, but I didn’t reflect on the depth of love that it would require of me, and how that love would call me up, and challenge me to redefine my measures of success and fulfillment. It has honestly been a tug of war in this area, and yet as I exert my energy to pull on my part, I am also becoming undone in my heart. I am being refined.

Motherhood, while a divine calling and a tremendous blessing, can often leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed. From a Christian perspective, this sense of being lost can stem from the immense pressure to fulfill the roles of caregiver, nurturer, and spiritual guide all at once. The Bible calls mothers to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), which can sometimes feel like a daunting and never-ending task.

In the pursuit of meeting every physical, emotional, and spiritual need of our children, we can find themselves grappling with feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion. The constant demands makes it hard to find time for personal reflection and spiritual renewal, leading to a sense of disconnection from our own identities and from God.

A hope

Feeling lost in motherhood is very common, and if you clicked on this post, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. It is a journey that we are on, and if we truly let it, it’ll refine us into the best version of ourselves. That was the driving factor for me creating Graced For Home and sharing a little more about how I left the corporate world to be a stay at home mum in this season of my life. It’s also the reason I created the Homemakers Framework to encourage all mothers to begin to think about the home, own their presence their and see the beauty that can be found in building a life from there.

Take heart and find solace in the profound truth that you are not alone, and your efforts are deeply valued. In the midst of exhaustion and doubt, remember that God’s grace is always sufficient. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 reassures us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Your imperfections and struggles do not diminish your worth or your ability to be a wonderful mother; rather, they highlight your reliance on God’s strength and wisdom.

Embrace the supportive community around you, both within your faith and beyond. Lean on fellow mothers, friends, and family for encouragement, practical help, and shared experiences. Remember that God has uniquely equipped you for this role and that your love and dedication are shaping your children’s lives in ways you may not always see. In the moments of quiet reflection, seek God’s guidance and find peace in His presence. You are fulfilling a sacred calling, and with each step, you are making a significant impact. Your love, patience, and perseverance are reflections of God’s love for your children, and in Him, you can find the strength to continue this beautiful journey.

Here are some posts to help on the practical side of things:

How do I balance personal and family life?

How to deal with overwhelm

5 ways to be productive at home

How to create a fun learning environment for your children

How to be happier at home

Be in touch soon,

Alethea

mother and daughter preparing avocado toast

How to: Nurturing character in our children.

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

It’s so easy to be hyper focused on our children’s academic success that we miss nurturing the person within that God has created them to be. One morning as we made our way to the library I watched my two boys scooting in front of me and I thought WOW. Look at them. Have you ever had that moment too mama?

When you just stop in your tracks and look at your children and become overwhelmed at the gift of who they are. You look at their faces, watch them play or focused on an activity and suddenly you are seeing them in 5-10 years time and wonder what they will look like and how they’ll be? It’s an overwhelmingly beautiful moment! A true wonder.

Most days though, my mind forgets this as I am hyper focused on helping them to master their penmanship skills, phonics and maths (I talk more about identifying their learning styles in another post). In those moments, character isn’t so much at the forefront of my mind as them getting their work correct is.

Yet imagine if we focused on nurturing their character first, knowing that if we master that, we’ll also nail their relationship with learning and ultimately academic success.

I know, I know; the thought of not having the pursuit of academics at the forefront of their learning experience is enough to send a chill down our backs. I for sure know that it feels scary not focusing on academics first because a huge part of me feels insecure about them not mastering the academic side of learning from an early age! Academics also came very naturally to me, so it has always been my default when I think about their learning experience.

However my boys have taught me that for them at this stage and age, academics first would actually crush their spirits and dampen the relationship that I am working on building with them. I see that one of my sons comes alive when learning is made very practical for him and it doesn’t feel like “learning”. He is very much a kinesthetic learner and he started to open my eyes to the possibility of adapting my approach and view of what learning looks like.

Character First

Nevertheless, character first seems to be signaling so brightly to me. When we build on the character first, the academic success is not only enhanced, but their view and approach to life is enhanced too.

There are some moments when I have been really frustrated when trying to encourage my first born son to learn a particular concept. I am hitting a brick wall while he is having a meltdown! When he works on his craft projects- which he absolutely loves to do, he always starts crying and throwing his items on the floor in frustration when he gets stuck on a particular thing. One day, I realised that instead of becoming frustrated with him, while I watched him struggle to manage his emotions, I needed to spend some time teaching him about perseverance. I need to train this character trait in him.

On another day, I was finding it difficult to maintain a sense of order while I worked with my 2nd born because he kept on forcing his way and talking over me while I tried to explain something. The constant interruptions made it difficult for me to flow well, and I was very frustrated. That day also made me realise that I need to nurture the character trait of self control, empathy and respect within his heart.

I realise that my attempt to train character has a bigger reach. Working on their hearts is key because when we master that, this strength in character flows well to affect other areas of their lives- not just academics. From helping with chores, being together as a family as well as working well with their formal learning, the blessing is far reaching.

Nurturing character is effectively training the heart. It is the hardest job to do and requires consistency with instruction and practice. Good character doesn’t come easily or naturally to us because responding as our raw emotions lead us to is powerful. Our children have the potential of the muscle hidden within, and as mothers it is our job to help them exercise this muscle little by little to build strength, trusting that the practice of this training will bear fruit in their lives over time.

What Character traits are useful?

Character development plays a crucial role in helping our children build academic success in several ways:

  1. Responsibility and accountability:
    • When our children develop a sense of responsibility, they are more likely to complete their work well, and take ownership of their learning experience. When we give them a vision that they have a part to play in filling their minds with good, beautiful and wonderful things, it fosters a sense of responsibility in this area.
  2. Perseverance and resilience:
    • Character traits like perseverance and resilience help our children navigate academic challenges and setbacks. Instead of giving up when they get stuck on something, they learn to keep trying and never give up, which is essential for mastering difficult subjects and overcoming obstacles in life. We have to be there to keep encouraging them to get back up, and sowing the seeds into their hearts to persevere until they reach a solution. I am often so tempted to step in when they get stuck, but I have to also train myself to hold off for a little while so they can build a little muscle in this area. I’ll be doing them a disservice if I am constantly running to their rescue.
  3. Self-Discipline and time management:
    • Self-discipline helps our children to focus on their studies, avoid distractions, and prioritise their tasks effectively over time. I am always encouraging the boys toward good time management when we need to leave the house so they’ll be aware that efficiency in this area is important. Picking up after themselves, keeping their work area reasonably organised, focusing on one task at a time are some of the ways that I also help build personal discipline within their hearts.
  4. Integrity and honesty:
    • Integrity ensures that our children engage in honest academic practices, such as not cheating on exams or taking short cuts to do their work. It’s so easy to do, especially whey they lose interest and want to do something else, or want to rush through quickly.
  5. Empathy and collaboration:
    • Developing empathy helps our children to work well with their teachers, creating a positive learning environment. Collaborative skills are crucial for group projects and cooperative learning activities, and encouraging them in this area is so important as they need to have respect for others as much as they do with wanting their voice to be heard. Respect is a big thing in our household of boys who have big personalities. Everyone wants to be first, and have their own way but life doesn’t work that way, so we need to teach them about the importance of working with others when it is needed.
  6. Confidence and self-esteem:
    • Strong character builds confidence and self-esteem, and while encouraging empathy, we can also encourage our children to participate actively and at appropriate times by asking questions, and seeking help when needed rather than internalising their frustration with their work. One of the moments that helps us to build this character trait is during devotion time where we encourage questions, throughout.
  7. Curiosity and Love of Learning:
    • Character traits such as curiosity and a love of learning inspire our children to explore subjects deeply and engage with the material beyond their classroom. This is the area that we don’t want to die because we want them to se the beauty in being life long learners. We don’t want the flame to be snuffed out because of rigid routines and expectations.

Strategies to help you instill strong character traits in your child

Teaching our children character involves intentional actions and consistent modelling of positive behaviours, as well as prayer over their lives. Remembering to give them a vision of who God is calling them to be and what the Bible encourages them to be sows a spiritual seed beyond our own voices.

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

Here are a few ideas to encourage you in building character in your children:

  1. Model positive behaviour:
    • Starting with one of the hardest ones and pointing the spotlight on ourselves! Children learn by observing their parents and caregivers. So it’s important that we demonstrate the character traits we want to instill, such as honesty, kindness, patience, and responsibility. I am so convicted by this lol! If I want my boys to be kind to others, it would be great if they first saw me modelling this to a loved one or stranger. What is caught tends to stick. Be consistent in your actions and words.
  2. Set clear expectations and boundaries:
    • Establishing clear rules and expectations for behaviour is so important. With multiple children, this encouragement is so key because they feed off each other. Explain the importance of your house rules and the values behind them. We have an “Awuku” mantra that the boys say most days and have memorised. When someone misbehaves or mistreats another, we remind them of the expectations. Consistent enforcement helps our children understand the boundaries and the reasons for them.
  3. Encourage responsibility:
    • Give your child age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities at home. This can include chores, managing their homework, or caring for their younger sibling. Responsibility teaches accountability and the value of contributing to the family which is so important. Responsibility is something that is dear to my heart in raising my boys because they lean towards being lazy and expecting everything to be done for them. Absolutely not lol! I am busting that myth. They need to know that they are part of a group, and it is only through responsible work that things get done.
  4. Teach empathy and compassion:
    • Encourage your child to consider others’ feelings and perspectives. Use teachable moments, such as discussing a story where someone is treated unfairly to talk about empathy and kindness. I find that picking books around a topic like this is so helpful because it fires their imaginations. We all love a story- especially a life giving story that inspires us to rise up to be a better version of ourselves. When you see your child demonstrating empathy and compassion, give it a gently recognition, as this helps validate their positive action and they’ll want to keep doing it.
  5. Promote honesty and integrity:
    • Foster a culture of honesty by encouraging your child to speak the truth and by being honest yourself. Praise them when they tell the truth, even in difficult situations. Discuss the importance of integrity and the consequences of dishonesty through stories and vivid illustrations because again this gives a vision that sticks in their hearts. While they are young, constant sowing and watering of he honesty and integrity seed is so important as when they grow and encounter many things, we hope that they’ll remain open with us.
  6. Encourage perseverance and resilience:
    • Teach your child to face challenges and setbacks with a positive attitude. It is certainly an area where we have to persevere ourselves! We have to keep encouraging them to keep trying, even when things are difficult. It can be anything from making their bed, trying up their shoe laces correctly, putting their clothes on, writing their name, washing their hands after using the toilet, picking up their toys and putting them in the right place. We are there to encourage them towards doing things well and seeing it through to the end. Here, you can again share stories (even from your own life) of perseverance and discuss the importance of not giving up.
  7. Teach gratitude:
    • Cultivate an attitude of gratitude by encouraging your child to express thanks for what they have and for the people in their lives. Prayer helps with this, as well as having conversations about God and His mercies. Some may like to practice gratitude together as a family by keeping gratitude journals or sharing things that you are thankful for each day. Training them to know what to be thankful for (such as people, provision etc) is important because it helps them to know where to direct deeper thoughts that goes beyond their toys.
  8. Promote fairness and justice:
    • As much as our children love each other, they also fight ALOT because each wants their own needs met all the time. Teaching them to play fair, share, and treat others with respect is a daily work on our part because their flesh dictates so strongly. How can we do this? Talk about a situation where someone was treated unfairly. This could be from a news story, a book, or a personal experience. Discuss why it was unfair and what could have been done differently to make it just.
    • Use toys and playtime to teach sharing. If one child is using a toy, explain that they need to let others have a turn after a reasonable amount of time. Praise them when they share willingly.
    • Set up role-playing scenarios where children can practice resolving conflicts fairly. For instance, one child pretends to be upset because they were left out of a game, and the other must find a fair solution.
    • Encourage your child to think about how their actions affect others. If they are unkind or unfair, ask them how they would feel if the situation were reversed. This helps them understand the impact of their behavior on others.
  9. Engage in hospitality and your community:
    • It is good for our children to see love for others in action and that looks different in all our homes. By involving them in our acts of service and hospitality helps to reinforce the idea that there is a world that exists outside of their own and encourages compassion and thoughtfulness towards others. Involve your child in local community service or volunteer activities. This helps to provide practical opportunities to practice and observe positive character traits in others which will also encourage them in a great way.

So there we go mama. I hope you’ll see by this post just how deep and far and broad character nurture goes, and I have only touched on a few areas. Nurturing character in our children while fostering academic success is a delicate but achievable balance that yields lifelong benefits. By modelling positive behaviour, encouraging empathy, and creating an environment where values like responsibility, honesty, and kindness are practiced daily, we lay a strong foundation for both personal growth and academic achievement over time.

Integrating character-building activities into our routines and using everyday moments as teaching opportunities will help our children develop into well-rounded individuals. Remember, the goal is not perfection but progress. With patience, consistency, and a focus on personal and spiritual development, we can support our children in becoming successful in whatever they put their mind and hearts to.

I’ve created some beautiful printables to help our children build character. These printables are available in the shop and will encourage conversations and serve as great reminders!

I’d love to hear from you! What are you implementing in your home to encourage character in your children?

Alethea

a smiling woman writing on a board while sitting on the floor

How do I balance family and personal life?

Published on by Alethea Awuku5 Comments

Hey mama,

I hope you are doing well?

Have you ever felt like your days are spiraling at the speed of light and it’s hard to place your feet on the ground and just breathe?

Most days, I feel this exact way. Really in the thick of it as a young mother with 3 young children. Sometimes, everything is up in the air and I can’t get a grasp on anything- all the while feeling so exhausted from the sheer pace of it all.

I feel like I am in a tornado, yet in the midst of this, what do I do? Of course to get in inspiration (and let’s be honest to escape my own life for a moment and be nosey) I hop onto social media to take a peek at the mothers who appear to be doing so well in work, family life, home life and personal interests- further making me feel defeated as I struggle to keep my eyes open and motivation up to play yet another game with my boys in the day.

Can you relate?

It can be a daily battle to feel and believe that we are building balance and abundance when all the busyness and tiredness merges into one.

Yet my passion and belief is that we can all thrive in motherhood and home/family life if we keep working at it.

In today’s post, I want to talk about balancing family demands and responsibilities, while cultivating our personal lives. Balancing family and personal life is a challenge that many of us face as we expand and grow, but it isn’t impossible to cultivate a life that reflects all of our values, beliefs and desires. With prayer, wisdom, and a lot of intentional effort, it is possible to achieve a harmonious balance and consistency in this area of our lives.

Here are some guiding principles that help me greatly and I hope they’ll be an encouragement to you too. At the end of each point, I’ll suggest an action which I hope will help you to start thinking about ways that you can add more balance to your own life.

Decide what is important to you and your family

I’d begin by looking at your overall family and personal WHY. Knowing what is important to you personally, and to your family is the first step to identifying where you want to put your energy and resources. In the beautiful confetti flying chaos of raising a family, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture that supports and knits your dreams and ideals together with your current reality. Managing multiple daily commitments, activities, social events, plans and relationships under one household can be an extremely demanding and overwhelming responsibility.

In the midst of all the hustle and bustle of moving from room to room, and in and out of the front door, it can honestly feel like we are living in a whirlwind with no idea where everyone will eventually land. Having a family mission and regularly reviewing it, has helped to give our days purpose and helped to structure out what those days will look like. It doesn’t always flow perfectly, but it gives us a blueprint to follow and come back to during the busy and overwhelming days. It also sets as a powerful mirror that reflects back to us where we are spending our time, money and energy.

Once you have decided on what is important to you and WHY, you can build in actionable steps taking into account that season of life that you are currently living in. Having a mutual understanding with your husband about this foundational area of your lives helps you to eliminate the things that don’t serve you, and get excited about the things that do!

Action: Purchase your family mission statement today and start thinking and working through the key areas of your life that you want to build up.

Seek God first

The foundation of balance in life for us as Christians begins with our relationship with God. Matthew 6:33 reminds us to “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” I’ve found that when we look at life from a biblical worldview, i.e. asking “how does this first serve God and bring Him glory?” It helps to clarify and eliminate options that don’t serve this goal.

Seeking God first is the cornerstone of balancing family and personal life and this is not just for the social activities that we engage in, but for the way in which we guide, teach and nurture our children. When we have children and they start growing up, the clubs and extra- curricular activities become the thing that drain a lot of parents time and energy. We want our children to have the best chance at everything, and we are so passionate about exposing them to all the possibilities that this world has to offer. However, sometimes this can work against the family harmony, finances and balance.

By prioritising time with God through prayer, reading the Bible, and worship, we gain the wisdom and perspective that helps us to set the right priorities based on the season that we are in. We are reminded of what the first thing is, and we are reassured that God sees us and our household. He loves us, He will help our children to grow and thrive, and we do not need to go into overdrive in the quest of keeping them occupied. The Lord tenderly reminds us that He is all that we need to make our family feel loved and supported while, also attending to our personal needs, desires and prayer points.

When we seek God first, we are reminded of His peace and grace, which allows us to cultivate a sense of gratitude and contentment, even amidst the busyness of motherhood. It encourages us to be more present with our children and spouse, recognising the value in each one of them, and in the moment. Ultimately, placing God at the center helps us create a balanced, joyful, and fulfilling life that reflects His love and purpose, and this makes us more focused, and better equipped to handle the specific responsibilities, challenges and blessings that come with our unique family life.

Action: Set some time aside early in the morning or late at night to journal, and pray, asking God to help you seek Him first in your family life. What is unique to your family situation in this season that needs your time, energy and resources? We don’t need to do all the things that others are doing if it doesn’t flow well for us right now.

Discuss, and prioritise your roles

I remember feeling very frustrated and limited in my role as a mother because I couldn’t move about as freely as my husband. Typically, he picks himself up and he goes wherever he has to go, and does whatever he needs to do without an entourage. Simple tasks like getting into the car, popping the supermarket, going to the post office, working without interruptions are all easy for him because he doesn’t have to consider carrying the kids around with him. That part is covered by me.

I take on that weight and on some days I just feel so tired of it all lol. The constant talking sends me over the edge and I miss the days when I could just drive in peace and run quick errands. Yet when I think of it from a biblical perspective, and from the perspective of mother, I am encouraged to remember that my children are a blessing, and they like to spend time with me. I think about what the role of mother entails and it helps me to open my heart to appreciate, love and slow down as I navigate the day with my children.

Understanding the various roles that God has entrusted to us is key. Wife, mother, daughter, friend, and individual are but a few of the roles that most of us are privileged to experience. Understanding my role as a woman, as defined by biblical principles, profoundly helps me balance my family and personal life. As a Christian mum, embracing my God-given identity and purpose brings clarity and direction when I know what the Bible says about my role.

Recognising that I am called to be a helper, nurturer, and a source of strength within my home allows me to prioritise my family’s needs while also valuing my personal growth and well-being. Slowing down to love, correct and enjoy my children blesses and comforts a part of me, of which I am so grateful to experience. There are several times when I do need moments to myself and understanding this helps me establish healthy boundaries, ensuring I don’t lose myself in the responsibility of daily life.

It reminds me to seek God’s wisdom and strength in fulfilling my duties, whether it’s through nurturing my children, supporting my husband, or cultivating my personal talents and interests. Knowing that God doesn’t want us to fail is so encouraging. Within embracing our roles, we can find joy and fulfillment in serving our families and pursuing our passions, creating a balance that honours God and enriches our lives. This balance is not about perfection but about faithfulness and grace, knowing that through Christ, we can manage and enjoy our responsibilities.

Additionally, understanding our various roles helps us to appreciate the unique qualities God has instilled in us as a women, such as empathy, intuition, and compassion. These traits enable us to connect deeply with our families and communities, building strong relationships. Embracing our role also means acknowledging our worth and the importance of self-care, which is essential for maintaining the energy and joy needed to serve our family effectively.

Action: take some time to reflect on the various roles that you play, and what you do in each of them. Just look at how much God has put in and around you! You are blessed! Next, if there are some areas that are causing stress or anxiety speak to your spouse about it to see if you can either change the dynamic, or get some support in that area.

Plan and prepare days or moments for yourself

This point is important and very practical. Grab a calendar and jot down all the things that a month entails- outings, work, celebrations etc. Planning days or moments for yourself as a mother is important for the below reasons:

  1. Self-Care: Taking time for yourself allows you to recharge and maintain your physical and mental health. Parenting is demanding, and without regular self-care, you risk burnout, stress, and even health issues. Self care is different for everyone. Identify a few things that encourage you to feel like you are thriving and work on actioning them in baby steps. You’ll feel so revitalised and it’ll set a reminder to your brain that you don’t need to be forgotten in the midst of it all.
  2. Role Modeling: By prioritising your moments, you demonstrate to your children the importance of balancing responsibilities and personal well-being. I believe that it is important to teach them this in a healthy way as it is part of a life lesson. They learn that God created mummy to love and raise us, but she is also a person who needs God’s love, help and strength. This teaches them valuable life skills about self-worth and healthy habits.
  3. Maintaining Identity: It’s easy to lose your sense of self when focusing solely on your family. Planning personal time can help you stay connected to your interests, hobbies, and passions, maintaining your individual identity beyond motherhood. I don’t see this as a negative thing at all. When we connect naturally with the things that we personally enjoy outside of our children, we get to bring them into our world as they witness a different side to us and it’s beautiful. When you take care of yourself, you’re better equipped to take care of your family. A well-rested, happy, and healthy mother can provide more effective, patient, and loving care to her children.
  4. Stress Management: Scheduled personal time can help manage stress by providing regular breaks and opportunities to decompress. This is certainly true for me when I go on my regular walks or runs. Simply being outdoors helps to diffuse my thoughts and gain fresh perspective on things.
  5. Enhanced Relationships: Every so often, time away from our daily routines can improve relationships within the family. It gives space for appreciation to grow which leads to more meaningful interactions when we are with our families.
  6. Personal Growth: We are always learning, and can take time out to learn new things as mothers. It enriches us and helps us to build community. By taking some time out to build this area of our lives over time provides opportunities for personal development. Whether learning new skills, pursuing education, or engaging in self-reflection, personal time is crucial for our growth.
  7. Mental Health: Regular breaks and personal time are vital for maintaining good mental health. They provide opportunities to process emotions, reduce anxiety, and improve overall mental well-being. I have found that journaling and prayer in these moments have been a real blessing.

Action: Have a look through your family calendar and see where you can slot in an afternoon, a morning, and hour or two for yourself and set it in there as an important activity that you agree on with your husband.

Communicate with Love

It can be hard sometimes to communicate to your husband that you need more assistance in an area, or that you need him and the kids to pick up a particular responsibility, but open and loving communication with our family is essential. Setting some time aside to speak with our husbands and share our needs in an encouraging way helps us to feel heard and valued in family life. This is important because as mum’s we are an integral part of our family unit, and so it’s healthy for us to practice exercising our voice when it comes to the area of communication.

Some areas where I have had to learn to communicate clearly and lovingly are:

  1. Delegation and Collaboration: Encouraging the whole family to be involved in household tasks is something that I am trying to be so consistent in because it is a genuine help to me as much as it is training for them. Often, I can do it and much quicker, however it doesn’t always help to ease my load so we work hard to encourage team effort, teaching our children the value of teamwork and responsibility. This not only lightens your load but also strengthens family bonds.
  2. Learning to say no: It’s okay to say no to additional commitments that do not align with your priorities. It’s not always easy, but we have to be sensitive the times, seasons and moments of our lives and decide accordingly. Seeking discernment through prayer to know when to say yes and when to say no is so liberating because we realise that we are in control of our schedules and the rhythm of our days. If balance is something that we are trying to build, all things need to align to that goal.
  3. Rely on community: Another point that isn’t always logistically easy for a lot of us. We are not meant to walk on this journey alone, and we can lean on others for support. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens.” Don’t hesitate to seek help from friends, mentors, or church family. It is a great encouragement to the heart, and in some cases can come at just the time when you need to be refreshed.

Action: Are there any of these points that you can start on?

Balancing family and personal life is an ongoing journey! It requires wisdom, patience, and grace. By seeking God’s guidance and applying these principles, I hope you can find a fulfilling balance that honours Him and enriches you and your family’s life.

Speak to you soon and here’s to thriving in this beautiful season that we are in.

Alethea x-o

Awaking wonder in the hearts of my boys

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

My boys by nature are already bent towards wonder. If they aren’t jumping off furniture imagining that they are flying superhero agents sent to rescue the world, they are completely immersed in the land of all things soil, mud and water as they dig to find treasure, or create foundations to build forts, castles and temples!

There is a part of us that has a longing. A deep well within us that needs filing with the fullness of God, but If I am honest, the thought of awaking wonder in the hearts of my boys feels like an intimidating prospect because there is a huge part of me that feels stuck when I consider being this other version of myself who is free spirited and sees and feels all the beauty around me.

It feels hard because I have been trained into a system that values results, efficiency, competitive edge, hurriedness over a slower more savored pace of life. I suppose the title of this blog post should be “how to awaken wonder in my own heart”.

My boys by nature are already bent towards wonder. If they aren’t jumping off furniture imagining that they are flying superhero agents sent to rescue the world, they are completely immersed in the land of all things soil, mud and water as they dig to find treasure, or create foundations to build forts, castles and temples. I honestly look at them most times in amazement. We absolutely have hunters, wrestlers, producers and conquerors in our midst! They are so cool and remind me that we have an innate pull within us to bring forth creativity in our own unique way.

I have to be honest also, that most of the time, I am also thinking “what on earth…” because I just feel so far removed from the way a boys brain is wired to work! Yet God has given me this portion. The three most wonderful boys to nurture, disciple and raise into wonderful men who reflect the image of God.

When I think of awakening wonder in the hearts of these souls, I think about leaving a legacy of hearts that beat after the unseen things of this world, while appreciating the very things that anchor us in real relationship, community and life. I think of hearts that beat strongly and thirst for knowledge in real tangible ways, hearts that feel full and satisfied with the precious simplicities of life that we are so unfamiliar with. Awaking wonder to me is about loving and nurturing each boy individually so that they grow roots in who they are without ever feeling the need to compete with others. To feel wholeheartedly secure in Christ and in your place in this world is probably the most anchoring experience that we can desire.

My view of education is changing and I never ever thought that I would experience this! I see now that it isn’t linear. The path to “success” and fulfillment isn’t just one way that we all have to walk and I need them to know this. There is so much wonder, so much to ponder on, so much to explore and to wrestle with in this rich life and I really want them to have this. Academic success is important, but I believe that a life undergirded by faith and inner character is more of a blessing- brings forth more of a fruitful and full life.

I want them to be free enough in their minds to build a deeply fun life giving enough time for their hearts to taste and see all that life has to offer. Seeking after it. Finding wonder and inspiration that organically and authentically propels them forward to their next learning adventure- because it truly never stops.

God bless,

Alethea

Why Graced for Home?

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

I, like many women had only one goal in mind as I grew up. Work hard to be competitive in the market place. The best in my field. Get that competitive edge so that I could stand out and land the high paying job with an incredible benefits package. I knew that I wanted to become a mother one day because it was the other natural path that I desired but my entire focus was on career and making money. I was and still am an ambitious, and highly capable and productive woman with several dreams and abilities.

However things started to change for me when I left my first very good corporate job to work part time for my church at that time. I was newly married and I realised that a huge part of me also had a heart for home. I am incredibly passionate about building with my own tribe, having time to intentionally create a life of joy, adventure and success according to what it means to our unique family. I wanted to learn how to be this way.

That’s also when I felt the tension between the two. Seasonally, I came to realise that I couldn’t have the two at the same time. Yet the pull for home became intensely strong when I had my first son. Seeing that new life that my husband and I co created shifted my perspective on life and motherhood entirely.

“Choosing to walk confidently in Gods design requires a step of faith- a step away from the marketplace of activities and into the mummy place of the home, which is filled with beauty, love, creativity, purpose and peace”. Sally Clarkson

Yet I also realised that I naturally was entering into motherhood with so much insecurity, fear and confusion regarding my personal role and ability. I wasn’t confident in so many areas, and yet I still had a strong heart to be based from home with my child and now children.

The desire for this blog really is to;

  • Document my personal journey as a Christian woman and mother
  • To document and encourage others on the journey of raising boys
  • I have truly felt afraid to lean into this new version of myself because in alot of ways it confirms the new journey that I am on and I have never considered myself living this- and putting it out there for the world to see. I still coming to terms with a lot of things everyday! Yet I have accepted that this is the most authentic way that I-Alethea can express myself. This is what God has given to me and I am compelled towards it. Especially as I desire to teach my children to keep their hearts open to who God has called them to be and lean into their natural gifts. I have to model this and can’t run away from it.
  • It is making me a better mother.
  • To encourage Christian mothers, and specifically stay at home mothers that we can absolutely do this and grow in confidence managing the home, loving and nurturing our children, and discovering new things within ourselves- our skills etc and still thrive beautifully as individuals. Staying at home does not have to be filled with insecurities.
  • Share my journey of home education and encouraging mothers in this area too, sharing some resources that I make for my children to learn with.

I hope you’ll journey along with me x

A vision for home

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

A place for belonging and becoming is important to this mama. Where hearts find a home to discover, test their limits, dream and hope. Home is base. The place intentionally and carefully built to serve us all. A place of refuge when we need shelter and protection from the harsh winds of the outside world, a safe launching pad that encourages us to try, to take the steps needed to develop skills and ideas, and the heartbeat of all things discipleship, training and refining.

When I think about my home, I envision warmth. Sacred and natural deeply rooted rhythms and traditions that have been intentionally repeated so much that they lead our days into an ever deeper connection with each other, the world around us and God. To build deep, strong foundations takes time and considerable effort. To establish, set in, and anchor hearts to all that is good and wonderful takes a mighty work of the Holy Spirit to come alongside my daily efforts.

How I long for my boys to know the powerful, soul grounding witness of the Lord in their hearts! It is my prayer for them daily. My hope and desire is that our home will be a place where miracles upon miracles are witnessed in all of our lives. May it stand as a monument testifying to the goodness and faithfulness of God to our lives.

My vision for my home is that it would be filled with love, laughter and joy. A space where learning is not only expected, but inwardly pursued, cherished, and evolving as we all change and grow. A place of cultivation rings strong in my heart. The tiling, preparing, and nurture of the souls that live under my roof is a humbling magnificent job that I know I am called to. May God give me the grace and capacity to carry this for my boys.

A place to be. To know without a doubt that they belong, and that daddy and I are committed to their becoming. What holy work!

My boys are currently 5, 3 and 1 and most days, in the chaos and busyness of caring for very young children, this ideal can feel very far away- like an unrealistic and impossible dream. However it echoes so loudly in my heart and I just cannot ignore it. Living with my children and being with them each day is quite an intimate reality to live.

We eat together, rest together, learn together, play, adventure and pray together each and everyday. We frustrate one another, quarrel, love and forgive. It’s all encompassing. A whole life. One that I am incredibly grateful for. I hope to revisit this post in a few years time to reflect on how my thoughts and desires have evolved.

Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built, And by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], And by knowledge its rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4 (AMP)