Tag: Christian Homemaker

white and pink cherry blossom

My help comes from the Lord

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

There are days when I don’t know whether I am going or coming…

I feel an overwhelming sense of grief- partly because of what I see going on around me, and also from internal thoughts. However paradoxically I am at peace because I know that I am in the place that I need to be. I am positioned where God needs me to be in order to be pruned.

Character development is crucial.

I ask the Lord of a few things, frequently. Strength to help me to stand against the enemy, a discerning spirit to know what to pray against, and for the Holy Spirit to take control of my mind.  I have no strength apart from what He graces me with. Since I left career I have not blogged about my experience because quite frankly I have not been able to articulate the experiences, and I do not feel as though I actually have my feet on the ground…

To say that the past few months have been a blur and a whirlwind is a serious understatement. How can multiple thoughts, feelings, emotions and knowledge all co-exist and be activated all at the same time?

I suppose that is where I should be though right?

In my weakness His strength is made perfect. In my weakness, I find myself clinging unashamedly to His hope and the cross even more. In my weakness I dare not even boast in my own ability.

One MAJOR thing that I didn’t even think about, are the enemy’s attacks. They have become more vivid and more visible than I have ever experienced them to be. The past few weeks have been filled with a variety of attacks from terrible dreams, thoughts, irritations, frustrations and physical obstructions and injuries.

Until I realised…

How could I make such a bold step for the Lord and not expect the enemy, my adversary to rage. WOW.

His obsessive preoccupation is to steal from me, to kill dreams and to destroy my life (John 10:10). He will go after any and everything, subtle and obvious. He seeks to ravage my soul with his lies and and blind me to the truth of God’s goodness and provision for my life. He seeks to convince me of failure and hardship, convince me that there is something wrong with me when in fact there is everything wrong with him.

He throws things my way all to evoke anger, jealousy, annoyance and resentment regarding many things. It is very hard and it can be discouraging. Fear creeps in. I feel lost and doubtful. As soon as my mind starts to trail onto these things he ponces on them.

I realise that I have a very real enemy as a woman who stands for the things of God and who is seeking to live His way. This enemy is a terrorist to my soul..

However he does not get the victory because my Bible tells me in 1 John 4:4, But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I am intentional about deciding to bat away his lies by not entertaining his deceiving thoughts that come into my mind.

Be encouraged mama…

Our responsibility is to ask the Lord to help us seek out the subtle things that the enemy goes after. For me it was the seduction and temptation to accept something into my life that will ultimately take me off track and distract me from my journey. This came in the form of discouragement and doubt.

My prayer is Lord help me to discern the enemy’s work in my life.

My weapons against him are;

The Word, praising God, continuing to walk in obedience, faith, prayer, worship, and fasting.

I realise that the greater my commitment to the Lord, the more the enemy will try to attack. Whenever there is a move into a new season of your life/work/ministry he will do all he can to wear you down with discouragement, sickness confusion, guilt, strife, fear, depression or failures. He threatens your mind, emotions, health, work, family and relationships. I realise that Abba has given me this portion to diligently engage in spiritual warfare. I cannot afford NOT TO.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 –Though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

You see when we go through things in life we have to know that it is not in our own strength to overcome. God is at work behind the scenes- even in the seemingly ugly. We must continually stand on God’s Word, and hope in Him alone. This season of my life is EPIC and I look at all the things that God is doing with me right now! Cast them down with the authority that I have been given. My life is beautiful not because of any material/outward possession.

My life is beautiful because I have Jesus Christ and He alone is my strength and hope. Forever.

Stay encouraged, be encouraged my love. Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ Jesus no matter the storm or life experience.

crop anonymous black mother holding hand of baby lying on bed

9 Hacks to help you thrive in motherhood

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

Being a mother is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, filled with joy, challenges, growth, and never ending love. When we bring our babies home, our lives are changed forever and when you weave the threads of our Christian faith into this journey, it takes on an even deeper significance.

Christian motherhood is not just about raising children; it’s about nurturing and training souls, instilling values, and guiding young hearts to know and love God and others. It’s about embodying Christ’s love and grace in every moment of our lives, whether we’re comforting a crying baby, helping children with homework, diffusing tantrums and outbursts, and encouraging anxious, frightened and insecure hearts. It is a deep work. A deeply fulfilling one and as much as we give out, we also must dig deep to fill ourselves constantly for the marathon journey.

One of my deep desires is to thrive in motherhood and to be truly happy and joyful in my home. In this post I am sharing some “hacks” to help you thrive in motherhood. These tips aren’t don’t really lean towards creating shortcuts, but rather they are methods that when implemented, help us not just live efficiently, but to enjoy our days and feel deeply fulfilled as we laser in on building a life that truly matters to us.

1. Daily journaling

Being intentional with our time can be achieved as we seek to be held accountable for the every day choices and decisions that we make. I have found that documenting my thought patterns and behaviours, and journaling through some of the experiences that I go through helps me to pinpoint areas that could use some improving, as well as celebrating the things that I enjoy about my life.

The practice of keeping a traditional hand written journal has fallen out of favour in recent years due to the influx of digital and social media/podcasts etc, however nothing can truly replace the practice of maintaining a journal.

Journaling is a deeply intimate and private thing. It is the recording of your thoughts and your heart. You write things that you would not consider to share with others on social media or in person. What I love about it, is that it is a beautiful way to explore and work through your thoughts and experiences in private.  This can be deeply impactful as you converse with yourself and God about some of your struggles, weaknesses, pain, joys, and the different experiences that you go through in life.

Using different tools and techniques to journal will help you to rediscover what makes you tick and encourages you to do more of what makes you happy. It can help to plan a schedule, write down some goals and journal about your achievements at least once a week to keep you encouraged.

2. Fill up your own well frequently

There is wisdom in filling ourselves up before we give to others. Prioritising regular “me time” for activities that recharge you can look like reading a book, taking a bath, or going for a walk. Investing in self-care is essential for maintaining balance and well-being.

As a busy mum, it is easy to spend any down time binging on things that don’t necessarily feed my soul because I feel tired and drained after a long day with my children. As relaxing as it can feel to go through a series on Netflix in one sitting, or watch countless Youtube videos, after a while I am still left feeling drained.

Finding creative ways to squeeze in things that inspire and encourage my soul has been a real intentional effort as I seek to shape and stir my mind towards things that delight and inspire me to love my home and family better. I listen to podcasts while cooking, audiobooks while taking a walk or doing the food shop, and read books/ my Bible during my morning breakfast. All of these practices help build up contentment and joy in my heart.

3. Simplify Your Wardrobe:

Creating a capsule wardrobe filled with versatile pieces that mix and match effortlessly is a big hack for us busy mums as we often have children waking up through out the night and early in the morning. Using an already tired brain to think of what to wear for the day (so I look and feel put together) can add to my stress and frustration.

I have found that taking the time to streamline my closet, and thoughtfully select pieces that I actually would love to wear has saved me time and reduced decision fatigue, leaving me feeling confident and stylish every day. Simplifying your wardrobe as a busy mum is a game-changer in the quest for efficiency and sanity! With a streamlined closet of versatile pieces, you spend less time agonising over what to wear and more time focusing on what truly matters—like tending to your family’s needs or stealing a precious moment for yourself in the morning. A simplified wardrobe means fewer decisions, less clutter, and effortless mix-and-match options that ensure you always look and feel put together, even on the most chaotic days. Sometimes, if I can get dressed quickly, I am able to steal a few moments to listen to a favourite podcast, or put some makeup on which equally makes me feel great.

4. Meal Prep

Knowing what you want the family (and yourself) to eat on most days of the week is important in helping you to not only run your home efficiently, but to beat the overwhelm that comes with not knowing what to make and having little time to make it. Having a scheduled weekly plan is a great way to organise your thoughts, allocate budget and enjoy the process of cooking for multiple people. Spend a few hours each week prepping meals and snacks to save time and make healthier choices. Batch cooking and meal planning can simplify your weeknights and ensure you always have nutritious options on hand.

Meal prepping is a lifesaver for busy moms, providing a solution to the perpetual question of “What’s for dinner?” With a little bit of planning and preparation, you can save valuable time and energy throughout the week. By dedicating a few hours on the weekend to batch cooking and putting meals together in advance, you ensure that wholesome and nutritious options are readily available for your family, even during the busiest of days. You don’t see the true value of meal planning and prepping until the week begins and you are carting back and forth to different activities. Arriving home after gymnastics and knowing that dinner is already there – it just needs to be heated up or quickly cooked is a real blessing when you have children ready to eat!

5. Learn to be present and content

This point is so important. Your intentional lifestyle will look completely different to mine. You are your own unique person with your own tastes and preferences. Your family is unique and your household rhythm is unique. How you choose to live your life and how you order your days should be unique to you.

In our wonderfully connected social and digital age, most of us spend our time drawing inspiration and motivation from so many different sources, creators and influencers. I’ve found that personally over time this becomes a big distraction for me actually being present in my own life and tending to the unique demands and needs of my own heart and that of my children and my husband. When our eyes are constantly looking “over there”, we can easily fall into the trap of comparison as well as building something that is essentially a carbon copy of someone else’s life.

Of course we can get some great suggestions and inspiration from others, but ultimately to be present in our own life journey is where the true beauty lies, and is the starting block to building a thriving experience for ourselves. We begin to learn about ourselves and those that we live with on an intimate level, and this helps us to make decisions that are uniquely ours to treasure for a life time. This truly excites me! Looking at my marriage and focusing on what my husband and I can do to improve it leads us to make intentional decisions that not only will bring us closer as a couple, but create beautiful lasting memories that fill our hearts with joy and gratitude.

Looking at my children and seeking to cater to their unique needs, personalities and interests opens up a whole new world of adventure for us as a family and that is so exciting! The possibilities to be intentional when you are present in your own life is endless!

Establishing and becoming in tune with your own rhythm and pace also frees you up to make a shift when you need to. Maybe you wake up feeling tired, or unwell, or feel like you need a change of environment. Being aware of your unique needs and lifestyle means that sometimes you can change up what you do and how you respond to your feelings and emotions so you can meet your needs in the best way possible.

6. Set Boundaries

Learn to say no to commitments that drain your time and energy, and prioritise activities that align with your values and goals. Setting boundaries is essential for protecting your well-being and maintaining balance in your life. Overscheduling the children can leave you burnt out and feeling discouraged.

Since becoming a mum, I have learnt that I don’t have to say yes to every single invitation that comes my way. With all the social events of friends combined, there is generally always something happening that you don’t want to miss out on, but if you said yes to everything by default, you would never have any time for anything else.

Learning to politely decline invitations and say no to commitments can feel very hard especially when in your heart you want to celebrate with all your loved ones. However being intentional with our time means that we should be able to say no to free up some space just as confidently as we say yes. Recently the boys were invited to a family outing and I felt that it was going to tip me over the edge after an intensely busy week. I was tired and needed a moment to just sit, breathe and reset. In declining to attend, I was able to redeem an afternoon of just what I needed – a little bit of space.

Being intentional is a gift and I am learning to use it without feeling guilty. If declining invitations feels really difficult and unnatural for you, a good first step may be to wait for 24/48 hours before replying to an invitation. This gives you some space to be thoughtful in weighing up your options, feelings and alternatives before responding.

Always remember that you have the freedom and power to fill up or create space in your schedule as you wish. Intentionality is a gift given to us because our time is on earth is precious.

7. Invest in good friendships

Nurture meaningful connections with friends, family, and loved ones by scheduling regular quality time together. Cultivating strong relationships enriches your life and provides vital support during both good times and bad. It is so much harder to do in the season of mothering little children, but connecting with even just one other mother in a good healthy relationship can be such an encouragement and fuel for your journey. Cultivating good friendships as a busy mum is not just a luxury but a necessity for maintaining balance and well-being.

These relationships serve as a vital support systems, providing understanding, encouragement, and a listening ear during the ups and downs of motherhood. By surrounding yourself with like-minded friends who understand the joys and challenges of parenting, you create a safe space to share experiences, seek advice, and find solace in solidarity. Good friendships also offer opportunities for laughter, relaxation, and rejuvenation, helping you recharge and replenish your emotional reserves. In essence, investing in friendships is a powerful hack for navigating and persevering on the journey of motherhood! I am an introvert and I have had to step out of my comfort zone to nurture this area of my life because it is just important.

8. Continuous Learning

You don’t have to hide or disappear under a rug now that you are a mother. Make a habit of learning something new every day, whether it’s through reading, podcasts, online courses, or workshops. Lifelong learning keeps your mind sharp, expands your horizons, and opens up new opportunities for personal and professional growth.

As a busy mum, it’s all too easy to let the demands of parenthood overshadow our own dreams and aspirations. However, it’s crucial not to give up on those dreams! Seasonally, we may not be able to put our efforts into everything, and it’s important to accept this as a reality of being a mother. However with a little creativity, planning with our spouses and support, we can still keep connected to the things that we enjoy.

Pursuing our passions and ambitions not only enriches our lives but can also set a powerful example for our children. By carving out a little time for personal growth and fulfillment, we fill up our own tanks, and feel refreshed to pour out to our families. Pursuing some of our dreams allows us to maintain a sense of identity and purpose outside of motherhood, fostering a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness in the long run.

9. Practice graciousness to yourself

Cultivate a spirit of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness towards yourself and others. Motherhood comes with its share of challenges, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-criticism and perfectionism. So many things are left undone and unsaid each and everyday and when we dwell on this alone, we can become incredibly discouraged and burdened with guilt and inadequacy.

Embracing grace allows us to let go of perfectionism, embrace imperfection, and live with greater ease and joy. Giving yourself grace mama looks like this: acknowledging that you’re doing the best you can in the circumstances, and that it’s okay to include self-care and rest when it is needed. It’s a powerful hack for combating burnout, reducing stress, and creating a greater sense of peace and contentment in our roles as mothers. So, let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace the beauty of imperfection, knowing that you’re enough, just as you are.

Now take take these points, apply them and go thrive!

If no one has told you today, I’ll be the first to say YOU’RE AMAZING!

Alethea x

a cup of tea beside an open book with stem of green leaves

5 Practical Ways To Be Content

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment


As a Christian homeschooling mother, being content in raising my children and embracing our own unique family journey is essential if I am to nurture a joyful and fulfilling home environment, as well as be at peace personally. I’ll be honest- I am not always content, and I don’t always feel like being content. However I recognise that it is crucial to learn how to embrace contentment if I am going to thrive in this chapter and season of my life. Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13 “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances”.

Finding contentment as a mother and woman is an area that we have to hold focus on because God has blessed us with so much, even when we are going through difficult seasons. I have found that when I shut my eyes and ears to the noise of the world and tune into my own life and the journey that God has me on, contentment grows in my heart. I am satisfied with what I have, who I am, and where I am going. Here are some practical steps that we can take to cultivate contentment and enjoyment, whatever season we find ourselves in.

1. Ground Ourselves in Faith

Our spiritual tanks run on empty, flashing red – a warning sign that if we do not fill up immediately, we will dry up, die out, and grow weary. The amount of time we invest into our spiritual lives is just not enough. We can never have too much of God. He is our anchor, foundation and hope. Yet if I am honest, with how busy my days are, I am often left feeling so tired physically tired that it is sometimes a challenge to reach towards things that will build me up in faith. Yet that is exactly where we need to be at all times during the day. If having lengthy moments to fill up your spiritual tank is just not possible and feels too overwhelming, then take it in bite sized portions.

Start each day with prayer and scripture reading for a few minutes as this will set the tone for the day. Listen to short podcasts, Youtube clips, audiobooks or songs throughout the day. All of these things help to keep our spiritual lives pumping as we face different things each day. Trusting God is believing that He loves us, He is good, He has the power to help us, He wants to help us, and He will help us. Settle your heart on this truth daily and you’ll soon realise contentment and gratitude growing within you.

2. Embrace Flexibility

This isn’t always easy but necessary because life is a journey filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. Embracing flexibility gives room for spontaneity. As a type A person, I don’t typically do well in this area as I enjoy structure and predictability. However, it is true that embracing flexibility helps us to let go of rigid expectations and enjoy the unique opportunities that arise each day.

So what are some practical ways to do this in order to be content? Well, in all your planning, don’t forget to build-in flexibility, allowing room for adjustments as needed. Secondly, mindfulness practices such as meditation on the Word or deep breathing helps us to stay focused on the present moment and reduces anxiety about the future. Varying our routines every now and then helps to introduce variety in our lives and helps us to become more comfortable with change.

3. Focus on Relationships

The backbone of society and family life is built upon the quality of relationships between us humans. One of the wonderful things that God has given us is the ability to form deep bonds that transcend time. Prioritising building strong relationships with our children, spouses and friends helps to create opportunities for meaningful connections which fill up our contentment bucket daily. It takes intentional work, but the output of this work truly enriches our lives.

We can build this area of our lives down by slowing down, and taking stock of the people in our lives. Write down a list of all these special people and what they mean to you and you’ll instantly realise how blessed you are. Then have a think about how you can increase or deepen your bond with them Some examples are quality time spent together, heartfelt conversations, and shared experiences. Investing in relationships fosters a sense of closeness and unity that enhances our journey in this life and if we can find our people and build consistent healthy interactions, we’ll add several more bricks to our house of contentment and gratitude.

4. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection

One of the big causes of discontentment is when we are so laser focused on perfection, that it blinds us from seeing and appreciating our progress in life no matter how small. As mothers, we try to be conscious of this for our children, but not so much for ourselves. Celebrating progress rather than perfection is an important mindset shift that can lead to greater satisfaction and motivation in our lives. Remember that perfection is elusive and ever changing based upon our ever shifting goal posts. Here are some practical ways (bullet pointed) to celebrate your progress and build contentment in this area of your life.

  • Create a Success List: Maintain a list of your accomplishments and add to it regularly! Even the tiniest things… Review it periodically to remind yourself of how far you’ve come. It’s progress!
  • Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate reaching milestones with small rewards or activities you enjoy, such as a favorite meal, drink, walk, snack etc. It motivates our brain to keep going and keeps us encouraged.
  • Regular Reflection: Take time to reflect on your journey in a specific area of your life and the progress you’ve made. Consider what you’ve learned and how you’ve grown. This encourages gratitude.
  • Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations that recognise your efforts and progress. It may feel difficult and strange but stick to it. Write it down if it helps and place the affirmations in a place you know you’ll see them everyday. Positive talk and practicing self compassion takes practice.
  • Forgive Mistakes: Accept that mistakes are part of the learning process and don’t dwell on them. Use them as opportunities for growth, and be grateful that you have had the opportunity to do better.

5. Practice Self-Care

Contentment can feel very difficult to reach for sometimes when we are simply burnt out or tired to the bone. Including personal renewal in our schedules helps to recharge and rejuvenate our minds, bodies, and spirit. Set aside time for activities that nourish your own soul, such as prayer, meditation, reading, or pursuing hobbies and interests. Taking care of yourself (even in small ways) allows you to show up fully present and engaged in your role- specifically for me as a homeschooling mother to three boys.

Self care and time for renewal looks different for us all, and the most important thing to remember is that you have to honour who you are and what fills your tank. By leaning into this authentically, you create and consistently build a foundation of well-being that supports a more content and fulfilling life.

Here are some Bible scriptures that I hope will encourage you on your journey of contentment.

Do Not Worry Matthew 6:25

Seek God First Matthew 6:32–33

I hope this has been helpful.

God Bless,

Alethea

basket with vegetables on stool in kitchen

The Power of your grocery list

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

In the whirlwind of busy mum life, where time is of the essence and distractions abound, staying efficient and focused is a crucial skill that all of us mums need! Whether it’s juggling work, family, or personal commitments, mastering efficiency can make all the difference, and one seemingly simple yet profoundly effective tool in the arsenal of efficiency? The humble grocery list that we carry in our heads or on a piece of paper each time we go to the supermarket.

Whether you are are a prepper and have your list ready days before you go out, or you are a last minute scrambler, having something to refer to is so helpful when you you face an overwhelming amount of options on the shop floor. If you haven’t realised the power of a grocery list, you’re in for a treat because in today’s blog post, I delve into why making grocery lists is more than just a mundane chore, but an effective strategy in saving our time, money, and mental bandwidth!

Organisation Leads to Efficiency

As busy mums, who have our hands full with different priorities, being organised in the area of food shopping can relieve stress and anxiety when it comes to meal prepping for the family. At its core, creating a grocery list acts as a blueprint and guide for our shopping trips. It’s a curated selection of items we need, neatly organised to streamline our visit to the store. By taking a few minutes to jot down what you require before you set foot in the aisles, you’re essentially creating a roadmap that prevents aimless wandering, unnecessary backtracking and impulse purchasing. More often than not, grocery lists help us stay within the range of our budget which is also a win! I know that I am less reluctant to pick up that cute top in Sainsbury’s when I know that I came in specifically to purchase and tick off the 5 items that are on my list. If I do pick up the top, I accept that it is an extra £15 that I have added to the budget! A list helps to train us in the habit of living within our means, as well as moving with purpose and efficiency.

Minimising Distractions and Impulse Buys

In keep with my earlier point, have you ever walked into a supermarket intending to pick up a few essentials and walked out with a cart full of items you didn’t need? It’s a scenario many of us are familiar with. I then spend a few minutes when I get home trying to hide some of my purchases from my husband! (ha). Without a list to anchor your shopping trip, it’s all too easy to succumb to impulse buys triggered by enticing displays or hunger pangs (I have heard it said that you should never go to the supermarket when you are hungry because you’ll make bad decisions lol).

However, with a list in hand, you’re less likely to veer off course. You know exactly what you came for, helping you stay focused and resist the temptation of unnecessary purchases. This not only saves you money but also time spent deliberating over items you could do without. When I go to the supermarket with my sons, they are given their own shopping lists (as I am training them to be involved) and we are teaching them that the purpose of the list is to help them stay as self controlled as possible.

Maximising Efficiency in Meal Planning

A well-crafted grocery list goes hand in hand with meal planning, another cornerstone of efficiency in the kitchen and home. By strategising your meals for the week and compiling a corresponding list of ingredients, you eliminate the need for last-minute dashes to the store or frantic searches through your cupboards. Instead, you can approach your cooking and planning with intentionality and confidence. In most cases, you can also save some money because if you purchase the exact ingredients need for your meals, everything else then becomes “extra”- and extra is optional, which means it can be omitted from the list for that week.

Empowers Healthy Choices

We are always looking at ways to encourage and maintain a balanced diet for our families and here, a grocery list can be a powerful ally. By outlining your meals and snacks in advance, you’re better equipped to make thoughtful, nutritious choices at the store. Rather than succumbing to the allure of convenience foods or unhealthy snacks (que chocolate and crisps), your list guides you towards more wholesome options that align with your dietary goals. In this way, a grocery list becomes more than just a tool for efficiency; it’s a tool for self-care and well-being. I love this!

Harness Technology for Added Efficiency

In today’s digital age, the traditional pen-and-paper grocery list has evolved to encompass a variety of digital tools and apps designed to enhance efficiency. From smartphone apps that allow you to create and share lists with family members to meal planning platforms that generate shopping lists based on your chosen recipes, technology offers a wealth of resources to streamline the grocery shopping process.

If you have a smart phone, you can create easy lists easily. We use Google Keep, Excel spreadsheets and Apple Notes, and at times I have used spreadsheets to monitor the prices of staple groceries that we purchase every week. By harnessing these tools, you can take your efficiency to the next level, leveraging the power of technology to simplify and optimise your shopping experience. It also saves on waste as you don’t have to carry and throw away pieces of paper.

While it may seem like a small detail in the grand scheme of things, the act of making a grocery list can really help us become more efficient, organised and focus which we always want more of as busy mums! It can sometimes feel tedious to make one but by embracing this simple yet effective tool, you can save time, money, and mental energy, allowing you to approach the task of grocery shopping with clarity and purpose. So the next time you embark on a trip to the store, take a moment to craft your list—it might just be the key to unlocking a more efficient and enjoyable shopping experience.

What do you think of grocery lists? Hit or miss for you? Have you found it to be helpful relieving stress or frustration concerning food shopping?

living room interior with furniture and flowers in vase

How to be happier at home

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

This post is to encourage you to know that you can find joy and happiness being based right from home. You can thrive in your own environment when you create the conditions to help support you and your family. It takes time but it is well worth the effort.

By wisdom a house is built,
    and through understanding it is established; (Proverbs 24:3)

Wisdom helps us to order our lives with intent. The virtue of wisdom has constructive, life-giving qualities. It initiates life, produces good fruit, creates, nurtures, fosters, establishes, and fills a house- a physical house, a family, and even our personal character with strength for our days.

Feed your soul the inspiration it needs

As a busy mum, it is easy to spend my down time binging on things that don’t necessarily feed my soul because I feel tired and drained after a long day with my children. As relaxing as it can feel to go through a series on Netflix in one sitting, or watch countless Youtube videos, it doesn’t truly feed my soul with the inspiration and strength that I need in the long term. After a while I am still left feeling drained which means that it’s imperative to fill myself with spiritually, physically and mentally nourishing “food”.

Finding creative ways to squeeze in things that inspire and encourage our souls has to be a real intentional effort as we seek to shape and stir our minds toward things that delight and inspire us to love our homes and families better. When we pour into ourselves well, we are not only strengthened, but the overflow is like a beautiful fragrance that fills our environment- which in turn blesses those around us.

Some helpful tips include listening to relevant podcasts while cooking, cleaning or having a shower, listening to audiobooks while taking a walk or doing the food shop, and reading books/our Bibles during morning breakfast or read aloud time with the children. Also, identifying an interest that you may have, and finding a small margin in your schedule to engage with it (e.g. exercise, leisurely reading, drawing, cooking etc) helps you to engage with the things that make you you. I’ve found that when I have given myself a little time, I feel a little more refreshed to then give of myself to others.

Taking tasks in bite sized forms to beat overwhelm

Some days just feel very blah and no matter how much you spiritualise or “speak into existence”, it can just be a very flat day that requires things to just get done. As busy mothers, the to do list is endless. As you cross off one thing on your list, five more are added and this can create a lot of overwhelm, and feelings of being buried. Inspiration can be hard to draw upon, procrastination knocks persistently at your door and you just feel like doing absolutely nothing even when you have things to do.

So how can we be happier when we have a never ending to do list? We can break down our tasks into order of priority and categories, and start tackling them bit by bit. The satisfaction of ticking a few things off creates a snowball effect that gives us momentum to tackle the other things. What are the things you want to spend your time on? Prioritise the categories, put the most important ones first and batch/ block them so you feel more accomplished as you tick things off slowly.

This is a great way to be intentional with your time particularly when it all feels like a melting pot of things that need to be done but you don’t want to do it. Intentionality is not about ignoring the things we don’t enjoy, because that creates overwhelm, anxiety and stress. It’s about the management of all the moving parts of our lives and, and taking back the control and order as much as we can. When practiced and mastered, it helps us to live in a much happier, calmer state of mind.

Take stock of all the positives and be thankful for it

We are prone to look at the negatives all the time because there are painful, challenging and frustrating things to deal with on a daily basis. A part of it is the reality of adulthood! Decide that although challenging moments are always there, you aren’t going to camp there. While dealing with challenging and frustrating things, we can still take stock of all the positive things that we do have in our lives and that we have been blessed with.

One of the greatest hacks to be happier at home is contentment. We can make the choice to be content with what we have in our lives, and how our lives look like. This can be a hard one because we live in a time where we see and know everything that goes on in the lives of other mothers and families and it can make us feel as though we aren’t enough and don’t have enough.

Taking time out to write down the things which you are thankful for will help you to realise that you are indeed blessed- everyday! Your life is unique to you and your family and accepting this helps us to truly own it and then look for ways to beautify and enjoy it!

Decide what matters

Following on from the first point, I believe that intentionality means prioritising the things that you do every single day that line up with your personal values and your personality. We get to choose the things that matter to us and this in turn helps build a life around things that we need to do in order to achieve the goal of what matters to us. For example, being outside for some period of time each day is very important to me.

I find walking to be a great form of exercise, but very therapeutic and healing as I get time to pray, reflect, release and just enjoy the movement of my body and my surroundings without feeling the pressure of passing through to get to somewhere else.

As this is an important thing for me, and even more so for my boys, I choose to make it a priority for us to get outside in nature as often as possible. Depending on the day I’ll build our schedule around it or if we are having a particularly difficult morning, I’ll pause, we’ll put our trainers on and get outside for movement and fresh air.

Knowing what matters to you and how you can make steps to achieving that can be helpful when thinking of ways to be intentional as a mother. You don’t need to have a long list of things, but just taking action on a few core areas that are meaningful to you helps you to feel grounded and in control of your life during the busy and quiet periods. Working on a family mission statement is helpful in this area as it encourages you to dig deep to identify the things of value to you and your home. Once you begin to lock in on this, it makes you happier in the home and with life.

Create a Christ-Centered Home

Last but not least, as Christians, infusing our homes with the love and fragrance of Christ brings such peace and joy that really cannot be matched. Cultivating a Christ centered home is essential to the quality and longevity of our family unit and as a multilayered and complex thing that God has ordained to be put together, there is purpose, intentionality, and beauty that can be experienced deeply when we choose to keep Christ at the centre of the home.

We can achieve this by incorporating scripture readings, prayer time, and discussions about faith into our daily routines. Playing worship music throughout the day also really helps to draw our hearts back onto God as well as helping the children to memorise songs!

toys on the floor

5 ways to Navigate diverse learning styles in our children

Published on by Alethea Awuku3 Comments

I looked at my little 5 year old as I attempted to engage him in some sit down learning and I felt two strong emotions. Compassion because I could see he wasn’t just struggling with the task, but he really wasn’t enjoying it. I also felt frustrated because here we were, on yet another day and I felt like a failure at not being able to “crack the code” when it came to winning his interest and attention to sit down and work through some pages with me.

Teaching our children can feel like a very daunting task, and one of the beautiful benefits of home schooling is that learning can be tailored to the strengths of each child, and time can be given to really personalise their learning experience and build their confidence. Equally, it can be frustrating because you are dealing head on with their struggles everyday. If you are feeling overwhelmed with where to start with the different personalities of your children, here are some strategies that you can try which I hope will help:

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1. Identify Each Child’s Learning Style

Learning styles infographic

Understanding how each child learns best is the first step. Common learning styles include visual (learning through images and spatial understanding), auditory (learning through listening and speaking), kinesthetic (learning through physical activities and hands-on experiences), and reading/writing (learning through reading and writing activities). Supporting our children to learn in a way that is natural to them will help them thrive and it will alleviate a lot of the frustration that we and they feel when it comes to growing learning and discovering the word around them.

It takes time and you may have good days and bad days, but I’m learning to just embrace it all and take my time and try to enjoy the process. First born is very much a kinaesthetic learner and so I can exercise wisdom in this area, and instead of expecting and demanding him to do book work, what I try to do with his learning is to break it up into chunks of tasks. He will do what I refer to as core discipline studies which is a few minutes on penmanship, working out some number sums, and a little bit of phonics. Once he has completed that, his reward is working on a lego project or STEM activity which he absolutely loves.

2. Create a variety of learning activities:

Offer a mix of activities that cater to different learning styles. For example:

  • For visual learners: You could use diagrams, charts, videos, and illustrations to explain concepts.
  • For auditory learners: Engage in discussions, storytelling, reading aloud, and listening to educational podcasts.
  • For kinesthetic learners: Incorporate hands-on activities, experiments, role-playing, and physical games.
  • For reading/writing learners: Provide written materials, encourage note-taking, and assign reading assignments followed by discussions or written summaries.

DIY project tasks have worked really great with my eldest because it allows him to use his brain in a very active way which he absolutely loves. He loves to solve puzzles, and find solutions to tasks, so this has really engaged him. I also see how it fuels his confidence because once he realises his strength and what he’s naturally good at, he wants to learn more and he wants to do more. He loves to talk about the things that he’s created and how he has put it together which is so encouraging to hear.

My second born is predominantly a read and write learner. He takes in information that’s written down in a very logical way. He enjoys books and equations so I find that the traditional books work well. He enjoys the typical comprehension, questions and tasks, and figuring things out, so my approach for him, leans towards text, and any visual or auditory representation of an idea, which he does really well with. Seeing these two different learning styles makes me realise that God really makes none of us the same. We are wired so differently, so uniquely, so wonderfully by Him. As a mother, it is amazing to be able to nurture and bring out, and help my children to discover who God has made them to be.

3. Provide Choices

And another way you could figure out your child’s learning style is by providing them with a few choices for different types of work that you want them to complete over the period of a few weeks and observe what they gravitate to. This will help you to know where to lean into for learning activities. You can also engage in conversation with them about things they enjoy and why they enjoy it. This will give you an idea of how to put together their learning and play sessions. Hopefully in doing this, it will help your child to enjoy and stay focused on what they consider to be fun while also learning and activating a huge part of their brains in an activity. 

Offer choices whenever possible to empower children in their learning process. For instance, allow them to choose from different assignments or projects that align with their interests and learning styles. Observe how your children respond to different learning activities and environments. Talk to them about their preferences and experiences in learning situations.

4. Create an environment that makes learning look fun

I am a minimalist calm, create a spa like ambience in my home type of girl, and so the thought of turning my entire home into a nursery or learning class doesn’t quite appeal to me, but I do recognise that for children, visuals are so important for inspiration, for memory, and for representation of where they are in this life stage. My laminator, my printer and Twinkl website are my best friends as I print put together little resources and learning packs for the boys.

I always have to remember that they are children and it’s important to encourage them to see the world with wonder, and to beautify it in a way that appeals to their senses. When I look at it from that perspective, creating a learning environment whether it’s a corner, conservatory, a whole room, or a bedroom seems like so much fun and even an inspiration to myself.  

Creating a fun learning environment can really enhance their engagement and enthusiasm for learning. Most of us don’t have a separate room that we can turn into a magical learning world for them but if we really look around, we’ll see that we have pockets of space throughout our homes that we can use. If you want to encourage a love of books, you could create a small nook with either a book shelf or some baskets and keep a few books there, or scatter small piles of books throughout the house for them to casually pick up. The same can be done with toys and puzzles or whatever their interest may be.

5. Assess, pivot, personalise and pray

We can pray and ask God to give us wisdom to encourage and teach our children, as well as to give the process over to Him to do a work in our own hearts. We all change as we grow and so do our children’s learning styles over time. Keeping our expectations open will help us to pivot when we need to without feeling too overwhelmed. I am trying to be so much more intentional about just enjoying life and enjoying the process with them. The rest will surely fall into place as we journey along.

A book that has really encouraged me in this area is Sally Clarkson’s book: Awaking wonder. As mothers we want the best for our children. We want them to thrive in every area of their lives and we want to give them a strong foundation. However, it’s so easy to lose sight of the wonder that is found in the journey to this destination, and I think that I’ve come to understand how childlike wonder really can become lost in the fog of formulas, strict curriculum and pressure from external things. Helping my boys to engage authentically and confidently with who they are, while leaning into the truth that wonder and curiosity without constraints does empower such a powerful educational experience.

My encouragement to you Mama

“To give a child the gift of time to imagine, to dream, to create, to engage, and to wonder is to allow time and space for his heart to be touched by the beauty surrounding him, for his mind to have room to grow strong on the feast laid out for his imagination, and for his emotions to bathe in the tranquility of a peaceful life in an unhurried rhythm. Then we offer a feast of theology, math, story, literature, virtue, faith, science, nature, art, music and culture upon which to apply his wondering and wonderful mind. To lay this foundation is to give our children beauty and strength of imagination and the strong pleasure of learning and acquiring knowledge over a lifetime. Wonder is the catalyst in shaping a powerful, engaged intellect.”

Sally Clarkson
Motherhood scripture card

How to be a content mother

Published on by Alethea Awuku3 Comments

Contentment is a very big area of our lives and it really can affect our level of happiness and joy as mothers. It is such a nuanced and interesting topic that affects us all. This journey of motherhood that we are on is marked by profound love, joy, and sacrifice for our children, and as a Christian, I realise that my own contentment is ultimately rooted in the delicate dance between trusting in God’s providence, working diligently and purposefully, and having faith that God does, and can change my circumstances.

In the midst of this beautiful journey of raising my children, I sense another struggle within me which are feelings of “am I satisfied? Am I happy? How can I experience joy and fulfillment as I work hard to serve, love and be there for everyone else in my home?” These are searching questions and I ponder on them constantly because one thing that I am personally committed to, is being a happy and fulfilled woman and mother not only for my children, but for myself.

My contentment is often linked to my expectations of what I believe I should have, and where I believe I should be in life and I think part of what can create discontentment in motherhood, is dealing with the reality of limitations. When we become mothers, it’s inevitable to face certain limitations inherent to this role, because it is a distinctive journey unlike any other. We enter into a new season of life which requires a lot of shift and adjustment.

In our age of social media where curated images of perfection abound in all areas of life, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of measuring our worth against carefully positioned and placed images and videos that display a standard and yardstick which we must all meet. While inspirational, we can find ourselves on a torturous cycle of constantly questioning our decisions, doubting our capabilities, and endlessly chasing after an idealised concept of motherhood that doesn’t truly exist- not 100% of the time anyway!

The arrival of our children brings countless blessings, but it also ushers in personal and relational (with our spouses) challenges that can test even the most resilient of us. Overnight, our lives change and our days become filled with endless demands, sleepless nights, and a constant juggling act to balance the needs of our children with our own desires and aspirations. How can we feel as though we are ok and not forgotten and unseen in the midst of it all? It’s a tough one that requires practical application grounded in scriptural direction.

Contentment and limitations

Mother lifting baby up

Very real and normal limitations to our lives and lifestyles will look different for each mother and I am learning that in order to cultivate contentment well, and find joy, I have to (by faith) adjust my expectations – bend them if you will to my current limitations. High expectations are good, and needed in some areas of our lives as they drive us forward to achieve goals, however I have experienced that my unmovable stance when it comes to my expectations being met in a very specific way actually creates overwhelm for me because it collides head on with my reality which in most cases is different. This then leaves me either frustrated or paralysed and feeling like I am suffocating under it all.

So what can we do? Adjusting our expectations to our limitations can help produce thankfulness, progress and good fruit in our hearts and lives. This is where the faith aspect comes in because it requires a willingness to surrender our desires and expectations to God, trusting that His plans for our lives—and the lives of our children—are far greater than we could ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11). We live in a fast paced all or nothing world where passionately pursuing our own fulfillment is the norm, so anything that appears to threaten this is seen as a negative thing, even if it’s our own children.

Reconciling our expectations with the reality of our current lives is a great challenge that we’ll always have to find balance with, but in doing this well, I believe that we’ll be able to enjoy and accept the current season for what it is- good and bad while having hope toward something different in the future.

Many of us experience the mourning of our freedom and opportunities when we become mums. The pressure to “have it all” and continue exceling in every aspect of our lives—career, family, relationships—can weigh heavily on our shoulders, leaving us feeling like we are perpetually missing the mark. Natural comparison to other mums who seem to have it all figured out can increase our feelings of discontentment, frustration and disappointment.

Either your a boss babe that can do it all, a stay at home mother who has opted out of the pursuit of career and financial rewards, or a mixture of both. Either way, the issue of contentment comes up because we are women, a lot of us are very capable, and we want to feel as though our output in life matches with the financial reward and our inherent sense of worth.

Even though our once familiar routines become disrupted, and our priorities shift, adjusting our expectations to our limitations can help to shift our focus from impossibility to possibility which is so encouraging! I’ll give two examples from my life.

My personal experience: two examples

I really enjoy exercising, and before I had children, I had the freedom to workout without interruption, I could go to gym classes, or use the gym if I wanted to. My  life in this season looks very different as I have had to cancel my gym membership and workout from home. In the beginning I absolutely hated it and felt resentful towards the fact that I couldn’t have my time the way I wanted to.

I felt very annoyed for a good few months. Why should I have to miss out on what is really important to me? I don’t enjoy working out at home at all and enjoyed the change of environment and focus at the gym. Well I have had to adjust my expectation to this limitation and instead of struggling against it, I have had to bend my will (painfully on a lot of days) to my reality, and redirect my thoughts to see the opportunity of how I can make good with what I can do now. I now workout early in the mornings when the boys are asleep, and I have actually grown to enjoy it. Some times they wake up, and when they do they play around me.

I am always having to train my mind from seeing the lack, to being thankful that I can still have time and opportunity to do something. If this should change in the future, I’ll gladly take it (!!) but for now, this will do and in accepting it as a good thing, good fruit is growing from it.

Another area is in the area of teaching the boys our native language (Twi). This has been a desire of mine since we got married 8 years ago. My husband speaks it fluently, but what is my limitation? I don’t. It didn’t stop me from having very high expectations for myself and my children though and I have wanted them to learn to speak and understand from an early age. As you can imagine this has brought a lot of frustration and feelings of failure as I am no where near the goal of speaking it fluently and passing it down to the boys.

Then I realised that the high expectation was a huge burden that was paralysing me from moving forward. The mountain just felt so huge. So I had to adjust my expectations to my reality by deciding that if all I can do to encourage our culture is work with the boys on a few words etc, translating for them (because I understand the language), songs, and stories, it is still a great seed sowing investment. They may not grow up speaking fluently, but they will still know about their heritage and hopefully have an appreciation and love for it, which is ultimately what we want! Settling my heart in this has brought the joy back in teaching them Twi.

Hope in finding contentment

Mother hugging baby

Amidst the challenges that we face, there is hope for our journeys. Finding contentment after motherhood can feel like this grand finish line that we all need to reach, but I think it’s actually something that God wants us to diligently embrace while we are on the journey. That’s when our eyes and heart open up to see His goodness and faithfulness to us as we grow and encounter new and different life experiences. Acknowledging and accepting the inherent challenges of motherhood can co- exist with immeasurable joy and fulfillment.

We have the liberty to explore our interests and passions, nurture relationships, take time to pour into ourselves with the things we enjoy and so much more within motherhood because we have this new role that propels us forward into a stronger version of ourselves daily. We just have to take our time, breathe and trust that as long as we maintain a healthy balance, perspective and level of discipline, we can attain a lot of our goals. It may just look different to how we want to do it!

Finding contentment in motherhood requires a shift in our mindset which is a conscious choice to embrace the beauty and imperfection of our lives. Contentment is not static- a do once and finish with it type of thing. It is meant to be a daily pursuit (and let’s be real, fight sometimes) to drink from the fresh flowing water of grace available to us each day as we ask God to renew our minds, strengthen us, help us live purposeful and disciplined lives, and above all to anchor our joy, worth and value in Him and not in the world.

Here are two scriptures which I hope will encourage you in this area of contentment.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:11- 13

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

How do you deal with cultivating contentment in your own life?

New seasons… the unknown

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

There is a certain apprehensive feeling that we all go through as we prepare to enter into a new season of our lives. It can be a new job, entering into a relationship, starting school, marriage, parenthood, or a large financial commitment.

Entering into a new season of our lives is like walking into the unknown because well, it is unknown to us regardless of how much we have ‘prepared ourselves’ for it. Our feelings can have us feeling strange – wondering if the thoughts we have are justifiable, reasonable, normal, or a signal that God is using to steer our hearts towards His voice in a season. Have we made the right decision or not?

Many times, when we are approaching something new, we feel uncertain because we have no control over what we will find when we open the door. We may profess that we have faith because we really do want to have faith, but deep down the feeling of apprehension may be gently gnawing at us telling us to err on the side of caution, or abandon our ambitious pursuit altogether.

In the many twists and turns, and new seasons of my life I have learnt something profound that I pray remains with me until I meet my saviour face to face. In the unknown moments of my life, God has an incredible opportunity to demonstrate His faithfulness to me. God is always faithfully providing for us and tapping us to see His provision and hand in many of the things that we go through, but sometimes we just never see it because we have grown comfortable in the security of being able to have reasonable controls over the variables in our lives.

It is only when we come face to face with the unknown- when we come face to face with our answered prayers, or a test that God is cheering us on to overcome that we contend with the feelings of uncertainty and our knees buckle a little.

God has shown me that instead of allowing the fear of uncertainty to overwhelm me, I should use it as an opportunity to allow my faith to grown in Him, and to cling onto Him rather than my own reasoning mind, and I must exchange what I see or don’t see, with His Word that builds up faith in my heart.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 

Affirmations for mothers at home

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

I am humbled by the breadth and depth of my role as a mother to my 3 boys. I am even more humbled (and often overwhelmed!) by the opportunity to be able to be with them each and everyday – watching them grow and come into their own.

The motherhood journey isn’t easy at all, and yet I truly believe that it is a sacred calling. It is an incredibly enriching and character shaping role in which we need all the encouragement and love to just keep going- one- day-at -a -time. It is deeply refining.

I am guilty of getting lost in the busyness of everyday life and responsibilities (because it all needs to be done!) and I often forget to fill my cup up as I am pouring into others everyday. It is easy for me to reach burnout and I have come to realise that daily short reminders and affirmations are a great way for me to incorporate multiple infusions into my mind and heart as I train, live with, enjoy, discipline and disciple my children.

I am always researching, reading, downloading, printing and creating something for the boys and you must do too! I thought that while we are busy making wonderful resources for our children, we should also be encouraged along the way, because as tough as our motherhood journey is, it is also incredibly beautiful and we can thrive in it by the grace of God.

I created these downloadable and free printable scripture based affirmations for mums. May they encourage, edify and remind you of your significant significant role as mum.

Motherhood Affirmation cardsDownload yours here

Motherhood musings: My boys: A worthwhile legacy

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

As a (current) modern woman, I have the freedom to carefully consider where I put all of my energy and focus. I can build legacy in certain areas of my life but I don’t think that anything will be nearly as profound as being on the journey of educating, raising and living life with my boys. It really is life changing.

This is bigger than my husband and I. So much bigger because what we train and normalise in our sons lives will have a ripple effect for generations to come. From the moment each one was announced on the earth our legacy work began. We teach them how to see and interact with the world around them and we have such an opportunity to shape their hearts and experience life with them.

They are a worth my life, time and sacrifice. Legacy speaks to something that remains.

Without much help they’ll grow physically, get bigger, taller and older. Through their interactions with the surrounding world they will grow mentally and socially. They’ll learn reading, writing and math and learn how to get by each day. All this can happen without much input from us as parents, but the things that legacy is made up of is character training, and authentic life and community living. Impartation, vision casting, establishing, building, constructing, spiritual, discipline, work, love, holding up, deep heart work. If we don’t try to touch on any of these areas, how will they launch out into the world fully grounded in who they are and whose they are?

Sometimes, to think of where to start feels like being placed in the middle of the ocean and tasked with finding my way back to land. In which direction do I turn my compass? How long before I start to feel or know that I am drowning? Can I swim? Will I swim?

I love my boys with all that is in me- but my goodness do I feel way out of my depth. The magnitude of my role terrifies me, and the simplicity of “just being” even more so. Will it be enough for them? Oh Lord calm my anxious heart. The many questions and wondering.

They are worth it