Christian parenting: What I have learnt about toddler tantrums and whining.

Published on by Alethea Awuku2 Comments

My boys fill my heart with so much joy, yet most days I am at my whits end dealing with the complaining, whining and constant crying that challenges my patience! I’ll never forget early one morning at around 3am when my second born (who was 2 at the time) woke up, came to our room, stood by my husbands side of the bed and started demanding that he be taken downstairs to get some peanuts. Huh? we were so confused! Of course my husband said no it was to early, and then tried to encourage him to get back to bed.

This didn’t go well. Screaming and more screaming pierced what was a quiet still night for the next hour. In that moment I remember thinking to myself surely- surely no one else in this world has got a difficult child like this. Yet, I only have to speak briefly to my mum friends to know that we all share a similar common challenge with our children. Tantrums, whining, complaining, constant crying when they don’t get their own way- or even when they do!

Truthfully speaking, as a Christian parent, one of the areas that make me feel completely stuck and inadequate is dealing with naughty behaviour and tantrums from my children. I see Proverbs 22:6 hanging over my head and think but how? Look at what I am dealing with right now. I often freeze- trying to search my mental rule book of how I am supposed to respond.

In this post, I want to explore some of my spiritual and practical learnings when it comes to this area of training our children and their tantrums or bad behaviour and I hope that it’ll encourage you as you seek to steward the lives of your little ones toward all that is good and worthy.

We all desire a positive and thriving parent-child relationship, and in the early years it can be difficult when dealing with a child who is not only limited in vocabulary, but who also has a developing emotional regulation (this is important to remember). Due to these mental and developmental factors alone, needs and wants are naturally expressed by whining, crying, and expressive behaviour -which is usually on the floor! Here are some points that have encouraged me.

  1. Seek to see the heart behind the behaviour

Before addressing the behaviour that we see, it’s crucial to understand the heart behind it. Reading Shepherding a child’s heart by Tedd Tripp completely blew my mind in this area. Our children have sinful hearts and are bent towards sinful tendencies just as we are. Their behaviour is an outward expression of what is going on in their hearts, so when we respond only to the behaviour and don’t address the heart, we can miss a really important opportunity to sow a seed and train the heart towards what is good. For example, when looked at beyond the surface, snatching from another child is a symptom of selfishness which the Bible addresses in Philippians 2:2-4.

Looking further afield to this scripture then gives us a strategy which is to begin teaching about loving and considering others and why that it is a good and thoughtful thing. We are pursuing character in our children which is so important. I love thinking in this way because it goes straight to the heart, and when done in love, over and over and over again produces such powerful fruit and change in the heart. So much more change than a physical retaliation to their behaviour could do. We are deeply self centered humans and so encouraging the heart to look outward to others takes time and consistent effort on our part.

  1. Teach and Reinforce Communication Skills

Use your words! I once heard someone say this to their upset toddler and I thought how interesting! When these young people in our lives are learning to express themselves, they don’t know what’s acceptable and what isn’t acceptable but we can teach them. We can give them the words that they need to use when they are feeling upset, and continue to remind them of this in the moment. Training and reinforcing a clear and simple way to communicate encourages baby steps toward maturity- even if they don’t fully understand why they have to say it. Prompting our kiddos to articulate their needs and feelings, reinforces the idea that using words is more effective than throwing themselves on the floor. In these heated moments, I remind my toddler that I cannot understand him when his voice reaches the ceiling and he is on the floor (lol). Usually because he actually does want to tell me what he is upset about, he’ll get up and say I am not crying any more mummy then proceed to try and communicate. Bless him. It’s a lot mamas!

  1. Set Clear Expectations

My boys are determined to push my boundaries. It’s like they wake up in the morning and tag team between themselves and decide who is going to try to move the bar at certain times of the day. It feels so exhausting for me most of the time and I realised early on that in order to command respect (and also remember what I said!) I needed to set very clear and simple expectations. I am outnumbered by 3 children so I have had to learn this really quickly because I was getting run over too many times! One simple clear expectation in our house is before we start breakfast we get dressed and brush our teeth. This was put in place to help me feel more organised early on, and to also set the precedent of getting ourselves together once we have woken up. To help set this expectation of obedience, I printed 3 large routine posters (getting dressed, brushing teeth, breakfast) and put it on their door so they could visualise what we all needed to do. This simple and age-appropriate method did help to reinforce a rule of the household.

  1. Be Consistent with Consequences

Consistency is key when it comes to disciplining toddlers and it is another tough area – whew! It sometimes creates more screaming and crying and it just tugs so hard on my heart strings. But listen I can’t have unruly children doing what they want to do in my house so mama has to literally hang onto God in order to stand firm when dishing out consequences! Often it is a time out or loss of privilege (such as watching a favourite show). It’s tough! We have reached a stage now where the boys know exactly why they are experiencing a consequence, are quick to apologise, and are willing to listen when we explain to them exactly why they have found themselves needing a consequence. When I remember I take it a step further by reminding them that it is because of love that I have to give them a consequence because God doesn’t want them to have a heart that is ….. and then whatever the issue is. Consistency with this has honestly helped my two eldest learn cause and effect (whether they accept it or not in that moment lol) and has helped reinforce the message that we don’t tolerate certain ways of living.

  5. Offer Choices

We all love to be in control, and toddlers are no different. My husband is great at being very assertive and clear in giving the boys two choices to empower them and reduce frustration. This does cut straight through the frustration and you can visibly see them trying to figure out which choice to make. It’s fascinating! For example, if someone is whining about wanting to play with something but we have said no, they are given the option of either accepting daddy’s decision and finding something else to play with, or having daddy pick a different toy for him to play with which is non negotiable.

 6. Remain Calm and Patient and be loving

Quite the opposite when one of the boys is really annoying me, but I realise that it is so essential in not only modelling good behaviour myself, but also as a way to reaching their hearts. Shame doesn’t produce good fruit, but love can move a heart to change. This approach can take time and is often overlooked and under appreciated until maturity begins to form. I am convicted in this area to keep loving, keep responding with a calm and kind demeanor – even when disciplining because it gives room for the Holy Spirit to do His work our children. Think about how Christ has dealt with, and continues to deal with us and it helps build humility in the way we approach our children. I believe that it is something that they will remember as they grow up. So lets take a deep breath. Lord help us.

Conclusion

Parenting and shepherding our children’s hearts is humbling work. It requires a delicate balance of understanding, patience, intention, strategy, and a lot of guidance from the Lord. May He give us the strength, grace and heart to remain committed to the worthy work of training and discipling, and hopeful in the good fruit that it will produce in their lives.

I’d love to hear how you have navigated, or are currently navigating the season of toddler tantrums!

Books that have encouraged me:

Ted Tripp- Shepherding a child’s heart

Sally Clarkson-10 Gifts of Heart: What Your Child Needs to Take to Heart Before Leaving Home

Morning get ready hack with 3 boys!

Published on by Alethea Awuku2 Comments

Getting children ready in the mornings can be a pretty stressful and daunting task, especially when you have more than one! The tantrums, protests and distractions can send you over the edge at 6.30am before the day has even started.

With my three boys, there can be several things happening all at one time, not to mention rummaging around their room looking for clothes for them to wear. One morning I thought to myself ” there has got to be a slightly better way to get a handle on getting ready in the morning”.

I decided to start with the night before and prep the clothes that they would wear for the next day, so that at least that would run smoothly for me. I was hopeful and my effort paid off. In the morning when they awoke, each one went to their pile of clothes, and got on with trying to get dressed by themselves. I injected a little bit of fun into the process by initiating a competition -which they of course loved.

That’s when I realised that this system would really work and in addition to making it easier for myself I could use this as a teaching and character nurturing moment- each and every day. So the next day we took a trip to Poundland and picked up 3 boxes, labelled them and had fun filling it with clothes that they helped pick for the next day.

Most mornings, they wake up between 5.30-6.00am when I am exercising. They have a lot of demands at that time (ha!) so I direct them to their box, and they now know that when they wake up, they need to go straight to their box and change into their clothes for the day.

This hack has worked so well in encouraging each boy in the area of independence, routine and responsibility so I thought I’d share as it is a small but big shift that has unexpectedly changed the flow of our mornings!

If you try it, let me know how you get on and if it improves the chaos of the mornings!

Cultivating a Christ centered home

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

Before I was married, I often wondered what my family and home would be like.

I wanted to share the things that were on my heart during that season of my life which have helped anchor and carry me into my current season of being a wife and mother of three boys.

All families are filled with back to back experiences of having to navigate through very REAL issues. all of us, whether active or passive are affected by what goes on within our family unit.

There are times of joy, disappointment, pain, anger, resentment, bitterness, success, loss and so much more and through all this drama, somehow Christ has to be at the centre!

The family unit is a beautiful, multilayered and complex thing that God has ordained to be put together to the glory of His name. There is purpose, intentionality, and beauty that can be experienced deeply when we choose to keep Christ at the centre of the home.

With eyes and heart heavenward it is assembled together to fulfill the purpose of God for each individual and as a unit. Gracefully reflecting the heart beat of God towards us as His children, His bride and as humanity.

The Gospel is Christ

The Gospel is Christ and His truth displayed to the world. It celebrates that fact that in Him we have been awakened and made alive to the rich and surrendered life that He already planned for us to live. The Gospel is the sweet aroma of the fragrance of Jesus Christ poured out like hot oil onto the dry and barren land of our hearts. In this pouring; love, grace and mercy collide to bring us to our knees in unashamed repentance. We wonder what kind of love is this? How can I deserve such a love? How can I share this with others?

What a Christ centered home looks like

So my heart leans into this, pondering on what a Christ centered home and life looks like.

  • To me, a Christ-centered family does not present perfection. Rather, it represents the ever-abounding grace of God that floods our lives and mobilises us into compassionate action towards one another and those outside of the fold. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you”. Ephesians 4:32
  • It has its gaze, hope and purpose fixed heavenward where the Father is. The Father leads this family through the vessel of the man whom He places in a position of headship and Biblical leadership to lovingly guide and steer the direction of the family as the Holy Spirit leads- to the glory of God. “Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth”. Colossians 3:2
  • A Christ-centered is seen through the demonstration of servant leadership and willing submission. “I will wash your feet and in doing so will show you how prepared I am to lay aside my own needs and desires to esteem you higher than myself”. “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ”. Ephesians 5:21
  • It is defined, and lives according to the Word of God. Christ is so intricately, yet visibly intertwined in conversation, behaviour and everyday life between the married couple and their children. We of ourselves are not so interesting. In fact we are pretty dull. It is the magnificent Gospel that we have been given to bear that makes us radiate. “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:7
  • The family is filled by the gentleness of a woman who expresses mature femininity, comprehensive submission and other Godly characteristics- all which help to strengthen, bolster and support that which God has entrusted and blessed her with. She builds, she does not tear down. “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.” Psalm 128:3, “The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14:1
Scripture photo frame
  • A Christ centered family is one where God is reverenced, and His peace, authority and presence rests upon the dwelling place of the family. “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” Romans 14:19
  • It’s a family which champions faith in Jesus Christ, and where parents live this out and teach it to their children to reverence, love and live in relationship with the Lord. “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
  • To me a Christ centered family is one that trades in the physical/temporary and fleeting things for the spiritual everlasting things. Where all are fed by the ever flowing and nourishing waters that flow from the wellspring of life, Jesus Christ. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-21, “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” Proverbs 24:3-4

I am humbled that broken that I am, God is using me.

Pursuing Character in our children: The How and Why.

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

As a mother, one of my strong desires – as it may be with you also, is to build good and godly character into my boys. Alongside raising children who not only succeed academically or in their area of strength and choice, it is so important to me that they possess strong character and moral values.

Building character into our children is a lifelong journey that requires a lot patience, consistency, grace and intentionality! I am always thinking about the men that my boys will one day become. In the day to day of cleaning up messes, laundry, and talking so much that I start mixing up my words it can feel like childhood will never end! However, I know all to well that even though the days can sometimes feel long and tiresome, this season is so short compared to the time that they’ll spend as young adults and fully grown men.

For our family, Instilling virtues such as empathy, resilience, compassion, responsibility, self control, discipline, diligence, and integrity is crucial and at the top of our list as we know that they will reap great and ongoing rewards for them as they grow and mature. In this blog post, I’ll be exploring a few practical ways to cultivate character development in your boys (or girls!) to set them on the path to becoming grounded and well-rounded.

  1. Be their first Example: I am starting with a hard one here because we don’t get a pass do we (squeezes face). One of the things that I struggled with a lot in my early moments of motherhood was being under the spotlight constantly. Everything we say and do is seen and heard and that can feel really hard, intrusive and overwhelming on the really difficult days. Children are like sponges, absorbing everything and as we are their primary role models, we can feel a lot of pressure to live up to a perfect standard. I am learning to encourage myself with a new perspective… I have to allow myself to be changed by the Word, authentically and not in a performative way in order in order for my boys to mirror this.
  2. Teach Empathy: Learning to take on another’s perspective, to understand, feel and possibly share and respond to their experience is quite powerful. Empathy is a cornerstone of strong character and being able to feel compassion towards others is what touches the heart and soul. We start off at home, encouraging the boys to understand and appreciate the feelings of one another when someone is upset. It isn’t always easy as usually everyone is upset at each other at the same time! We do our best to remember to always discuss emotions, read books that explore different perspectives and scenarios, and watch content that demonstrates a particular emotion that we are exploring. By exposing them to diverse experiences, we want to broaden their understanding of the world and cultivate empathy. This may take some time so we just need to be creative and consistent.
  3. Encourage Responsibility: Responsibility is a vital trait that prepares children for the challenges of adulthood. In our house, as soon as you start walking, you are encouraged to contribute to something. We assign age-appropriate tasks at home, such as setting the table for the siblings, loading the washing machine, clearing up toys, organising the shoes in the hallway, making beds, helping to wash up cups, helping to sweep the garden of leaves. I have found that my boys are very eager to be involved in a lot of things as it is probably new and interesting to them so I do my best to involve them – even though sometimes it takes ages! I know that if I can cultivate a sense of responsibility, order and accountability in their hearts now, it’ll be the norm as they grow older and we won’t experience much resistance to housework, and other forms of work.
  4. Promote Resilience: Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching children to bounce back from setbacks is a valuable life skill. At his current age (5), my oldest really hates getting things wrong. He has a complete meltdown and shut down when he struggles with something and everyday I am encouraging him to know that it is okay to make mistakes. Challenges are part of life, and we all make mistakes on a daily basis. We do our best to talk to them often about failures and how we can learn from them.
  5. Cultivate a Growth Mindset: I am really proud of you for persevering and being so determined to build the fort even though the roof kept on falling down. Encouraging a mindset that embraces learning and growth. is important. The beautiful thing is that this is hardwired into our children, and as they are growing physically, so is their desire to learn and understand the world around them. It’s a natural thing. We can go a step further by teaching the benefits of traits such as effort and dedication, and praising and encouraging hard work. This can help them to develop a mindset that loves learning and help foster a positive approach to overcoming challenges.
  6. Foster a Sense of Gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful force that can shape a child’s perspective on life. We started out with reading books on gratitude, and saying daily affirmations. When they pray at night I sometimes ask them to share one thing that they are grateful for. Creating gratitude rituals would be the next step for us and we would love to introduce writing down what they are grateful for each day, placing it into a jar over the course of the year and then reading it out together as a family. Grateful children are more likely to appreciate what they have and this is a real big one. Discontentment is all too easy in our world of more more more but to live a life that feels fulfilled, you need to be deeply grateful for it.

A life long journey

Building character in our children is an ongoing process that requires time, commitment, and a genuine connection with them and ourselves. I have to always remind myself that we play a great role in shaping, inspiring and encouraging them to grow, think and be as Christ is. It isn’t an easy thing to do, but small intentional and consistent steps towards this will surely reap a good harvest- I am sure of this!

The Beginner’s Guide to Home Education in the UK: Part 2

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Home Education can be so rewarding when we approach it with an open and willing heart to learn and also unlearn a lot of the ways that we think education should be! It is a true adventure with our babies and in this part 2 of ‘The beginners guide to Home Education’ I’ll be sharing a dew thoughts and ideas around how to get started for complete beginners, and particularly from a Christian perspective.

How to get started with Home Education

Our journey into Home Ed began developing during the Covid lockdown in 2020 where we saw the possibilities of what could be for us as a family. As with all major life changes and decisions, we prayed about it a lot and spoke with other home schooling families and I read so many books! It was truly new territory for me and I wanted to do a deep dive into so I could get a real scope of all it is. Getting started with home education involves some form of planning, understanding legal (if there are any) requirements, and creating an environment conducive to learning overtime where you and your children can thrive. Here are some practical tips that helped me to launch well:

Tips for success in Home Education

  1. Know your WHY: My first suggestion would be to write down a list of your WHY. Why are you and your family choosing to venture down this alternative path? What is your vision and goal for your journey? What do you envision your home and your children to be like in 10-15 years time? Writing down your WHY helps to anchor your heart on a day to day basis, on the days when things don’t seem to be going to plan and also on the great days! Everything you do, say and build with your family is tethered to your WHY.
  2. Set Clear Goals: Now that you have established your why, have a think about setting goals to help you achieve that. Defining educational goals gives a starting point but remember it can totally be subject to change as you witness the learning style of your child as well as any specific needs or interests they may have.
  3. Research Home Education Laws: It is always worth doing a search to find out what requirements and support is available in your local borough. Some provide a lot of useful information on their websites, and may even be surprised to find an active and diverse home schooling community.
  4. Create a Schedule: Having a schedule for anything can be a really useful guide to help you build consistency in your everyday rhythms. Remember, you aren’t bound by this. It is a guide that helps you to somewhat structure your day. With very little ones, life is very unpredictable and you need to give yourself a lot of grace and patience. Our schedule started off with library trips, outdoor play, cooking, phonics, praise and worship time and reading. Writing it down helped me to have a point that I could always refer to during the constant moments of nappy changing, cleaning and laundry. As time has gone on, I have added very slowly to the schedule as I careful not to create overwhelm for myself and the boys.
  5. Remember to focus on enjoying your children: It is so so easy to launch into the academics because there is an insecurity in that area. As they are not in traditional schooling, we feel as though we have to prove that they are ‘learning’ just as they would if they were in a classroom. You have nothing to prove. Being with your children on this journey is a real unique opportunity to develop a beautiful relationship with them- start from there and the learning will be easier. Enjoy them, be happy with them, laugh, play, rest and just be.
  6. Start thinking of and gathering resources: There could be a temptation to rush out to the shops and purchase all the CGP books you can find! I would say keep this area slow and intentional because there is only so much that your child will want to get through in the beginning! You don’t want to feel overwhelmed and disappointed. If anything one phonics book and one numbers book which you can use to make up fun lessons. As time goes on, you’ll naturally add more resources (games, books etc).
  7. Designate a Learning Space: This isn’t a rule because all of our homes look different and learning can and does happen all over the home! Having a small area (whether it be a book shelf, the dining table in the mornings, the corner area near the sofa, or the sofa itself) where you keep your resources can help to create focus for everyone.
  8. Enjoy the outdoors everyday: It does wonders for the mind, body and soul and is free! Depending on the day we can be outdoors in the morning or afternoon. The boys thrive when outdoors and I get much needed fresh air. Adding on to this can be trips to the museum, country parks and local events.
  9. Learn alongside your children: One of the unexpected but beautiful blessings for me, has been the growing desire to learn along side my boys. Initially I was impatient, and on the other fence of the learning experience- simply throwing out facts and information and expecting it to be caught but overtime this has changed. I realised that as they learn, I too can learn. It is an opportunity that God has given to me to reawaken and develop a different side of myself.
  10. Build your tribe/community: This is important for encouragement along the journey. Connecting with other home ed mamas is a great way to network, find out information, get support, make great friends and share experiences! I started my search on Facebook and through a little networking on Instagram. Exploring extra curricular activities during the week can also open you up to social opportunities.
  11. Be open minded to change: One of the big tips that will make your journey with your children truly tailored and special. As a mama we usually want to set and keep things as they are but our children are whole human beings who are always changing. Our focus is for them to thrive and love learning so we have to be willing to assess and adapt when it is needed to achieve that goal.
  12. Involve your children in the learning process: Your children can own their own learning if you are able to encourage them to enjoy the process of learning in their own way

I hope this post encourages you on your journey in Home Education!

The Beginner’s Guide to Home Education in the UK: Part 1

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

I’ll be the first to admit that I did not even know what home education is and had never heard the term until recently. So if you are a complete newbie, as I was just two years ago then welcome! You are in the perfect place of discovery as we journey together into the amazing and endless world of our children’s learning. In this blog post, I’ll be sharing about the world of home education in the UK and exploring the benefits and challenges to this alternative educational path.

What is Home Education?

In recent years, what we had known to be the only path to educate and learn completely changed. Lockdown in the UK (due to the Covid pandemic) forced everyone to stay at home, and for those with children to review and plan for their learning in a new and foreign way. We all experienced the landscape of education being transformed on a mass scale and this lead to an increasing number of families in the UK choosing home education as a viable alternative to traditional schooling because of the benefits it provides to their children and home.

Home education, is also known as homeschooling, and it offers a tailored and flexible approach to learning that caters to the individual needs and preferences of students. The essential goal is for your child to thrive and develop in their own unique way – academically or vocationally.

What are some of the benefits of Home Education?

For many families, taking more control over what their children learn is an exciting journey that they pour a lot of intent into. It’s focus can be on the individual and tailored needs of both the child and parent. Here are a few reasons why home education is valued by us:

  1. Tailored learning: One of the benefits that we have found is the ability to tailor curriculum to the unique learning style, pace, and interests of our boys. It has taken a lot of work to unlearn particular ways because the goal for us is for our children to build up their own natural ability to seek out learning for themselves, engage with and fall in love with learning.
  2. Flexibility and freedom: Home education provides us with the flexibility to design a schedule that suits our lifestyle. I always tell my husband that I enjoy living the “off peak” life! Life seems so much more spacious for us and we can take our time to organise travel, extend our exploration of subjects and interests because truly there is no race. We also have time to include the integration of real-world experiences into the boys learning process.
  3. Whole development: There is so much more to us than where we rank on test scores. While they are important in a certain context, they aren’t reflective of the whole person. Home education often has given us an opportunity to nurture not only academic skills but also character, values, and life skills which is so key. We enjoy involving the boys in practical experiences, such as cooking, outdoor work, cleaning, building, fixing etc, because we know that it adds to who they are by encouraging them to manage their time and space, to take responsibility for their own learning and to mature slowly in the areas of day to day life.
  4. Building a strong family relationship: Home education encourages close relationships between us and our children because we are with them all the time! We all share in the experience of learning, problem-solving, and exploring the world together and this builds a deep family bond that extends beyond traditional roles.
  5. Protection from peer pressure at an early age: We are all bent towards peer influence. It is built into the fabric of who we are and how we relate to one another and the world around us. Some influence is good and some is not beneficial. We feel strongly about helping our boys to lean towards independent thinking, being free from peer pressure at such an early age so they can be more open to thinking critically and forming their own thoughts and opinions.
  6. Encouraging our values and beliefs: Home education enables us to incorporate our spiritual values, beliefs, and cultural perspectives into the boys’ educational experience which is very important to us. This customisation and normalisation helps us to ensure that their education aligns with our core principles and cultural background.
  7. Academic excellence: Academic excellence is what I started our journey with, but I quickly realised that in order to achieve that, we had to work on character formation first. The blessing of home education is that if we trust the process and remain consistent, we have no doubt that academic success will follow- more so the desire to work hard and learn to enter their areas of interest.

This route isn’t for every family, but I am slowly believing more and more that for the child, it can be a beautiful route that not only sets the stage for a lifelong love of learning, but allows them to take their time and savour the journey of becoming. I love that!

Challenges of Home Education

These are just a few of the challenges that I have had discussions with others about and I do think that it can also be subjective based on the nature of the parent and child:

  1. Limited social interaction: This is a very popular concern when people find out that we home educate! Critics often highlight concerns about limited socialisation opportunities and this can be true for certain families. However we have found that this isn’t a challenge for us because there is just so much to do! Between extracurricular activities, community events and co-ops, our weekly calendar is full of opportunities for the boys to interact with friends and those older than them! Socialisation is what you make of it!
  2. Parental Commitment: Home education requires a significant commitment from parents, who become the primary educators. This area for me is the toughest. Balancing work, household responsibilities, and teaching is demanding, and planning is so necessary to keep things moving well
  3. Navigating the regulatory landscape: While home education is legal in the UK, families must adhere to certain regulations depending on the borough that they live in. Navigating these regulations can be daunting so it’s best to check online. In the UK, home education is legal and actually recognised as a valid educational choice even with the diverse approaches in this community.

It feels like Home education in the UK is a dynamic and growing phenomenon, because it offers families a flexible and personalised alternative to traditional schooling. We just need to grow in confidence that even if it has very hard parts, we can do it! We can create a rich and fulfilling learning experience for our children, nurturing their curious minds and fostering a lifelong love of learning.

Afternoon light at the park

Homeschooling 3 Boys: Routine and Resources!

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Welcome to a glimpse of a typical day homeschooling our three boys who are ages 5, 3 and 1. Each day looks a little different, but I have a structure which I pull from during different parts of our day. It helps me to be as consistent as possible while balancing my other responsibilities as a home maker. Join me as I share our routine and some resources that have worked well for us. This is a journey that I want to be marked by fun, creativity, and personalised learning/activities. I’ll share what I do in my own personal routine which helps me to stay focused, and on top of things as much as possible.

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The start of our day:

8:00 AM – 9:00 AM: An ease into the day

  • Getting dressed, breakfast time, and quick wash up time.
  • Set intentions for the day

9:30 AM – 10:00 AM: Praise and worship/Bible reading

  • We start with praise and worship (dance or fitness on Youtube)
  • Bible reading time

The boys have a lot of energy in the morning and I usually do not so what helps me to cope well with this is praise and worship. We watch a few videos on Youtube which they love to sing and dance along to. It’s a great way to learn new songs, and it helps to bring focus to our minds for the day. Our Bible reading time at this age is not very long and it is all story based. Our mid-morning session is dedicated to Bible study, exploring the stories of faith and lessons they hold for our lives. We have discussions around the story. This is for about 10 minutes.

Resources we love:

Bible: Illustrated Childrens Bible : North Parade Publishing: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Our favourite Youtube channel: (2) Listener Kids – YouTube

10:00-10:30 Character studies:

  • Conversation and activity around a character that I am teaching them.
  • Take short breaks as needed.

Character studies is an area that I am really passionate about and I really try to be consistent in working on activities and setting time aside to have conversations about this with the boys. I like to start the day with character studies because I want it to frame the day as we play and interact with each other. This works really well for us as they remember what we discuss and often pull each other up if they aren’t displaying the particular trait that we discussed in the morning!

Snack time and break

10:30 AM – 11:00 AM:

  • The boys help put their snack plate together- which they love to be involved with!
  • While they eat, they can play or draw etc. I take the youngest for his nap.

Start a few core subjects

11:00 AM – 11:30 AM:

  • 1 page of penmanship each, 1 page of phonics each
  • Older boy works on 1 page of sudoku
  • 1 page of maths/numbers (occasionally)

At this age through trial an error I have discovered that my boys cannot contain too much formal sit down work. What has helped a great deal is to have them work together with myself for a maximum of 5-10 minutes. We work on one page of penmanship, and one page of phonics/reading for the day. By breaking this down into bitesized lessons I have found that they are so receptive and enthusiastic to work. I get just enough out of the experience with them before their minds move onto something else! At this stage it is just enough and the plan is to build on this little by little without them noticing. My oldest enjoys Sudoku so to develop that a little we have him work on 1 puzzle a day which he is fine with.

Resources we love:

Sudoku book: Sudoku For Kids: Beginner Sudoku Puzzles | Puzzles ages 4-8 | Beginner to Medium Level Puzzles | 4×4 Sudoku Puzzles : Two Cubs Press: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Penmanship books: KS1 English Year 1 Handwriting Targeted Practice Book (CGP Year 1 English) : CGP Books, CGP Books: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Phonics and reading books: Learn to Read Activity Book: 101 Fun Lessons to Teach Your Child to Read : Braun, Hannah: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Lunch and Break

11:30 AM – 13:30 PM:

  • Enjoy lunch.
  • Take a break for relaxation, creativity, or personal interests.
  • I’ll prep for our outdoor adventure or afternoon extra curricular activity

We take frequent breaks throughout the morning as I have found that this helps the boys to focus more and not feel too overwhelmed. It also helps me to use a few minutes here and there to reset the house throughout the morning. After lunch they have free time, the youngest is awake from his nap and I prepare for our afternoon trip outside of the house.

13:30 PM – 16:30 PM: Afternoon fun

  • Gymnastics or swimming or park fun

This is a time for the boys to use their bodies in physical activity which they absolutely love! it’s so nice to see them learning new skills but also being in a space where they can just be so physical- because it’s truly what they need.

17:00 Dinner time

More things that we love to do

These things are woven into our day based upon the flow of and tone of the day.

  • We love all things hands on so we are often working on puzzles, doing science experiments, playing with playdoh, drawing and building lego cities, magnatile castles and marble runs, and building forts and hotels!
  • We are part of a homeschooling community which we attend once a week. This is focused on teaching geography for this current season. It’s great for the social interaction and learning.
  • We watch educational YouTube videos. I haven’t ventured into the area of using apps just yet because they love TV already! I want to pace it out as our digital age has opened up a world of resources at our fingertips. I am very keen on fostering and encouraging a love of learning traditionally (e.g. loving books, words, numbers, pen and paper, play etc) as they all involve an active engagement of the mind. I want that to form the building blocks on which they love learning rather than the razz and dazzle of a digital device. There will be a place for it at some point and we are just trying to navigate when the right time for that will be.
  • We have a lot of books as I try to build up a beautiful library for the boys so we dip in and out of different topics such as history, science and general information throughout the day. Read aloud time is enjoyed by us all.
  • To aide in my mission of encouraging a love of books, we go to the library once a week. This is cemented in our routine.
  • Twi learning!

Resources we love:

Science: UNGLINGA 100+ Science Lab Experiments Kit for Kids, STEM Activities Educational Scientist Toys Gifts Chemistry Set, Play Sand, Gemstone Dig, Volcano, Glowing Worms, Fizzy Reaction : Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

Books: Usborne Look Inside Our world 6 Books Collection Pack Set ( Seas and Oceans, Nature,Our World,Animal Homes,Jungle,Space): Amazon.co.uk: Usborne: 9789526530994: Books

Twi learning: Twi/african Language Bi-lingual Learning Flashcards, Beginners, Kids & Adults, Conversation Cards, Must Know Words and Phrases 27 Cards – Etsy UK

The above schedule is what a typical day looks like for us at this age and stage of our home education journey. I am learning that in order to enjoy the day and my children, I need to be flexible and anticipate that needs, interests, moods and life can shift our routine at any moment! I am not bound to the time slots. They simply serve as a framework for me as I aim to set a rhythm for our days.

If you’re considering homeschooling, remember that each journey is unique, and the key is to embrace the freedom it offers while crafting an educational experience that resonates with your family’s values and aspirations. If you are at the beginning stage, there are beginner guides that can help launch you into this new world.

Mama’s thoughts:

This is hard and holy work. As I navigate the ebb and flow of homeschooling, I’m continually reminded of the immense privilege it is to shape my childrens’ educational journey. Through flexibility, creativity, and a deep commitment to personalized learning, our homeschool routine becomes a dynamic tapestry of exploration and growth.

Homeschooling, for us, is not just about academics; it’s a journey of faith, love, and discovering the wonders of God’s creation together.

I have an opportunity to build a specific type of legacy and that just blows my mind. I set an atmosphere and have been given the capacity to love, be loved and launch something unique in my sons. Good work can turn into great work and great work turns into legacy which will outlive me. My heart is in this. I am graced for this.

Afternoon light at the park

A Christian Mother’s Homeschooling Journey with Her Boys: routine and resources!

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Welcome to a glimpse of a typical day homeschooling our three boys who are ages 5, 3 and 1. Each day looks a little different, but I have a structure which I pull from during different parts of our day. It helps me to be as consistent as possible while balancing my other responsibilities as a home maker. Join me as I share our routine and some resources that have worked well for us. This is a journey that I want to be marked by fun, creativity, and paersonalised learning/activities. I’ll share what I do in my own personal routine which helps me to stay focused, and on top of things as much as possible.

The start of our day:

8:00 AM – 9:00 AM: An ease into the day

  • Getting dressed, breakfast time, and quick wash up time.
  • Set intentions for the day

9:30 AM – 10:00 AM: Praise and worship/Bible reading

  • We start with praise and worship (dance or fitness on Youtube)
  • Bible reading time

The boys have a lot of energy in the morning and I usually do not so what helps me to cope well with this is praise and worship. We watch a few videos on Youtube which they love to sing and dance along to. It’s a great way to learn new songs, and it helps to bring focus to our minds for the day. Our Bible reading time at this age is not very long and it is all story based. Our mid-morning session is dedicated to Bible study, exploring the stories of faith and lessons they hold for our lives. We have discussions around the story. This is for about 10 minutes.

Resources we love:

Bible: Illustrated Childrens Bible : North Parade Publishing: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Our favourite Youtube channel: (2) Listener Kids – YouTube

10:00-10:30 Character studies:

  • Conversation and activity around a character that I am teaching them.
  • Take short breaks as needed.

Character studies is an area that I am really passionate about and I really try to be consistent in working on activities and setting time aside to have conversations about this with the boys. I like to start the day with character studies because I want it to frame the day as we play and interact with each other. This works really well for us as they remember what we discuss and often pull each other up if they aren’t displaying the particular trait that we discussed in the morning!

Snack time and break

10:30 AM – 11:00 AM:

  • The boys help put their snack plate together- which they love to be involved with!
  • While they eat, they can play or draw etc. I take the youngest for his nap.

Start a few core subjects

11:00 AM – 11:30 AM:

  • 1 page of penmanship each, 1 page of phonics each
  • Older boy works on 1 page of sudoku
  • 1 page of maths/numbers (occasionally)

At this age through trial an error I have discovered that my boys cannot contain too much formal sit down work. What has helped a great deal is to have them work together with myself for a maximum of 5-10 minutes. We work on one page of penmanship, and one page of phonics/reading for the day. By breaking this down into bitesized lessons I have found that they are so receptive and enthusiastic to work. I get just enough out of the experience with them before their minds move onto something else! At this stage it is just enough and the plan is to build on this little by little without them noticing. My oldest enjoys Sudoku so to develop that a little we have him work on 1 puzzle a day which he is fine with.

Resources we love:

Sudoku book: Sudoku For Kids: Beginner Sudoku Puzzles | Puzzles ages 4-8 | Beginner to Medium Level Puzzles | 4×4 Sudoku Puzzles : Two Cubs Press: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Penmanship books: KS1 English Year 1 Handwriting Targeted Practice Book (CGP Year 1 English) : CGP Books, CGP Books: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Phonics and reading books: Learn to Read Activity Book: 101 Fun Lessons to Teach Your Child to Read : Braun, Hannah: Amazon.co.uk: Books

Lunch and Break

11:30 AM – 13:30 PM:

  • Enjoy lunch.
  • Take a break for relaxation, creativity, or personal interests.
  • I’ll prep for our outdoor adventure or afternoon extra curricular activity

We take frequent breaks throughout the morning as I have found that this helps the boys to focus more and not feel too overwhelmed. It also helps me to use a few minutes here and there to reset the house throughout the morning. After lunch they have free time, the youngest is awake from his nap and I prepare for our afternoon trip outside of the house.

13:30 PM – 16:30 PM: Afternoon fun

  • Gymnastics or swimming or park fun

This is a time for the boys to use their bodies in physical activity which they absolutely love! it’s so nice to see them learning new skills but also being in a space where they can just be so physical- because it’s truly what they need.

17:00 Dinner time

More things that we love to do

These things are woven into our day based upon the flow of and tone of the day.

  • We love all things hands on so we are often working on puzzles, doing science experiments, playing with playdoh, drawing and building lego cities, magnatile castles and marble runs, and building forts and hotels!
  • We are part of a homeschooling community which we attend once a week. This is focused on teaching geography for this current season. It’s great for the social interaction and learning.
  • We watch educational YouTube videos. I haven’t ventured into the area of using apps just yet because they love TV already! I want to pace it out as our digital age has opened up a world of resources at our fingertips. I am very keen on fostering and encouraging a love of learning traditionally (e.g. loving books, words, numbers, pen and paper, play etc) as they all involve an active engagement of the mind. I want that to form the building blocks on which they love learning rather than the razz and dazzle of a digital device. There will be a place for it at some point and we are just trying to navigate when the right time for that will be.
  • We have a lot of books as I try to build up a beautiful library for the boys so we dip in and out of different topics such as history, science and general information throughout the day. Read aloud time is enjoyed by us all.
  • To aide in my mission of encouraging a love of books, we go to the library once a week. This is cemented in our routine.
  • Twi learning!

Resources we love:

Science: UNGLINGA 100+ Science Lab Experiments Kit for Kids, STEM Activities Educational Scientist Toys Gifts Chemistry Set, Play Sand, Gemstone Dig, Volcano, Glowing Worms, Fizzy Reaction : Amazon.co.uk: Toys & Games

Books: Usborne Look Inside Our world 6 Books Collection Pack Set ( Seas and Oceans, Nature,Our World,Animal Homes,Jungle,Space): Amazon.co.uk: Usborne: 9789526530994: Books

Twi learning: Twi/african Language Bi-lingual Learning Flashcards, Beginners, Kids & Adults, Conversation Cards, Must Know Words and Phrases 27 Cards – Etsy UK

The above schedule is what a typical day looks like for us at this age and stage of our home education journey. I am learning that in order to enjoy the day and my children, I need to be flexible and anticipate that needs, interests, moods and life can shift our routine at any moment! I am not bound to the time slots. They simply serve as a framework for me as I aim to set a rhythm for our days.

If you’re considering homeschooling, remember that each journey is unique, and the key is to embrace the freedom it offers while crafting an educational experience that resonates with your family’s values and aspirations. If you are at the beginning stage, there are beginner guides that can help launch you into this new world.

Mama’s thoughts:

This is hard and holy work. As I navigate the ebb and flow of homeschooling, I’m continually reminded of the immense privilege it is to shape my childrens’ educational journey. Through flexibility, creativity, and a deep commitment to personalized learning, our homeschool routine becomes a dynamic tapestry of exploration and growth.

Homeschooling, for us, is not just about academics; it’s a journey of faith, love, and discovering the wonders of God’s creation together.

I have an opportunity to build a specific type of legacy and that just blows my mind. I set an atmosphere and have been given the capacity to love, be loved and launch something unique in my sons. Good work can turn into great work and great work turns into legacy which will outlive me. My heart is in this. I am graced for this.

Why Graced for Home?

Published on by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

I, like many women had only one goal in mind as I grew up. Work hard to be competitive in the market place. The best in my field. Get that competitive edge so that I could stand out and land the high paying job with an incredible benefits package. I knew that I wanted to become a mother one day because it was the other natural path that I desired but my entire focus was on career and making money. I was and still am an ambitious, and highly capable and productive woman with several dreams and abilities.

However things started to change for me when I left my first very good corporate job to work part time for my church at that time. I was newly married and I realised that a huge part of me also had a heart for home. I am incredibly passionate about building with my own tribe, having time to intentionally create a life of joy, adventure and success according to what it means to our unique family. I wanted to learn how to be this way.

That’s also when I felt the tension between the two. Seasonally, I came to realise that I couldn’t have the two at the same time. Yet the pull for home became intensely strong when I had my first son. Seeing that new life that my husband and I co created shifted my perspective on life and motherhood entirely.

“Choosing to walk confidently in Gods design requires a step of faith- a step away from the marketplace of activities and into the mummy place of the home, which is filled with beauty, love, creativity, purpose and peace”. Sally Clarkson

Yet I also realised that I naturally was entering into motherhood with so much insecurity, fear and confusion regarding my personal role and ability. I wasn’t confident in so many areas, and yet I still had a strong heart to be based from home with my child and now children.

The desire for this blog really is to;

  • Document my personal journey as a Christian woman and mother
  • To document and encourage others on the journey of raising boys
  • I have truly felt afraid to lean into this new version of myself because in alot of ways it confirms the new journey that I am on and I have never considered myself living this- and putting it out there for the world to see. I still coming to terms with a lot of things everyday! Yet I have accepted that this is the most authentic way that I-Alethea can express myself. This is what God has given to me and I am compelled towards it. Especially as I desire to teach my children to keep their hearts open to who God has called them to be and lean into their natural gifts. I have to model this and can’t run away from it.
  • It is making me a better mother.
  • To encourage Christian mothers, and specifically stay at home mothers that we can absolutely do this and grow in confidence managing the home, loving and nurturing our children, and discovering new things within ourselves- our skills etc and still thrive beautifully as individuals. Staying at home does not have to be filled with insecurities.
  • Share my journey of home education and encouraging mothers in this area too, sharing some resources that I make for my children to learn with.

I hope you’ll journey along with me x

A vision for home

Published on by Alethea Awuku1 Comment

A place for belonging and becoming is important to this mama. Where hearts find a home to discover, test their limits, dream and hope. Home is base. The place intentionally and carefully built to serve us all. A place of refuge when we need shelter and protection from the harsh winds of the outside world, a safe launching pad that encourages us to try, to take the steps needed to develop skills and ideas, and the heartbeat of all things discipleship, training and refining.

When I think about my home, I envision warmth. Sacred and natural deeply rooted rhythms and traditions that have been intentionally repeated so much that they lead our days into an ever deeper connection with each other, the world around us and God. To build deep, strong foundations takes time and considerable effort. To establish, set in, and anchor hearts to all that is good and wonderful takes a mighty work of the Holy Spirit to come alongside my daily efforts.

How I long for my boys to know the powerful, soul grounding witness of the Lord in their hearts! It is my prayer for them daily. My hope and desire is that our home will be a place where miracles upon miracles are witnessed in all of our lives. May it stand as a monument testifying to the goodness and faithfulness of God to our lives.

My vision for my home is that it would be filled with love, laughter and joy. A space where learning is not only expected, but inwardly pursued, cherished, and evolving as we all change and grow. A place of cultivation rings strong in my heart. The tiling, preparing, and nurture of the souls that live under my roof is a humbling magnificent job that I know I am called to. May God give me the grace and capacity to carry this for my boys.

A place to be. To know without a doubt that they belong, and that daddy and I are committed to their becoming. What holy work!

My boys are currently 5, 3 and 1 and most days, in the chaos and busyness of caring for very young children, this ideal can feel very far away- like an unrealistic and impossible dream. However it echoes so loudly in my heart and I just cannot ignore it. Living with my children and being with them each day is quite an intimate reality to live.

We eat together, rest together, learn together, play, adventure and pray together each and everyday. We frustrate one another, quarrel, love and forgive. It’s all encompassing. A whole life. One that I am incredibly grateful for. I hope to revisit this post in a few years time to reflect on how my thoughts and desires have evolved.

Through [skillful and godly] wisdom a house [a life, a home, a family] is built, And by understanding it is established [on a sound and good foundation], And by knowledge its rooms are filled With all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4 (AMP)