Musings

Will i find fulfillment in motherhood?

Published on December 27, 2025 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Today as I struggled to get all boys to bed for the night I thought to myself, wow – motherhood is a beautiful and transformative journey, and it is also one of the most challenging sacrificial roles I have ever known. The endless nappies, sleepless nights, mental gymnastics, and constant demands often leaves me feeling not only exhausted and depleted, but questioning whether this is the place where joy can truly be found.

In the midst of the chaos, there is a deep fulfillment to be found—a fulfillment that goes beyond the immediate, and touches on the eternal. As Christian mothers, we are called not only to care for our children but to see the sacred in the everyday moments and train them up in the ways of the Lord, even when it feels really really hard (and most days, it does). I believe that God created and uses the role of mother to not only refine and transform us into the best version of ourselves, but to help us see His nature and character as we fall short daily.

It’s in those very moments of weakness—when patience runs thin, when exhaustion settles heavy—that God’s grace meets us most profoundly. Motherhood, in all its labour and sacrifices, becomes a living testimony of His strength made perfect in our weakness. The fulfillment we find is not in our perfection, but in the daily surrender, in knowing that our small acts of love and intentionality ripple through their lives into eternity.

Rocking a baby to sleep, correcting with gentleness (or firmness for the 10th time), or offering a whispered prayer over a child’s future are not insignificant; they are kingdom work. Fulfillment comes when we begin to see that this calling is less about what we accomplish in our own strength and more about how Christ shines through us as we do our best to lean wholly on Him.

What does fulfillment mean practically?

Practically, this means first learning to accept that we will not do it all perfectly. There will be days when the house is messy, the laundry undone, or tempers are tested and we are overstimulated more than we can bear. Accepting our human limitations frees us from the crushing weight of comparison and high expectations, and allows us to lean on God’s strength rather than our own.

Alongside acceptance, we can also be intentional about building rhythms into our days that anchor us in God’s presence—whether that’s beginning the morning with a short prayer before the children wake, listening to Scripture as we fold clothes, or finding small pockets of quiet to breathe and remember whose we are. Fulfillment often grows not from grand, sweeping gestures, but from the faithful repetition of ordinary acts offered to the Lord.

We can also build community into our journey, surrounding ourselves with other mothers who encourage, pray, and walk alongside us. In doing so, we are reminded that we are not alone in this calling, and that together we can point one another back to Christ when the days feel long and tiring.

Motherhood is sanctifying. The hard days do not mean failure; they are opportunities for God to grow patience, humility, and love within us. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1:2–3)

Will I be as fulfilled in motherhood? I miss my independence.

I think it’s natural for us to wrestle with the fear of “losing ourselves” in the midst of motherhood. For many, the world measures success by productivity, financial achievement, and visible recognition, and stepping into the unseen work of raising children can feel like stepping away from seen purpose. I remember processing the shock of my time no longer being my own when I had my first son, and feeling like my life was suddenly sucked into a vacuum. As much as I felt overwhelming joy and purpose in this new role, I deeply grieved the freedom and independence that I once felt, because all of a sudden, my life was under a spot light- being constantly watched by a little person!

Yet, Scripture gently reminds us that our worth is not rooted in what we do or what we earn, but in who we are in Christ. Motherhood may shift how our time and talents are expressed, but it does not erase them. In fact, it can refine and deepen them. The same skills of creativity, leadership, and problem-solving that shine in a career are often exercised in new, hidden ways at home and we can build up the courage and incremental time to explore these areas of our lives.

While the world may not applaud nappy changes, middle-of-the-night prayers, or the wisdom spoken into a child’s heart, heaven sees and honours these acts as holy work. The truth is that God does not ask us to trade fulfillment for sacrifice—He calls us to find a richer kind of fulfillment through sacrifice, one that is eternal rather than fleeting.

At the same time, embracing motherhood does not mean abandoning every dream, ambition, or calling outside the home. For some, “their own thing” might be pursued alongside motherhood in a different season or at a different pace, and that is okay. God is not wasteful; the gifts He has placed in you are not meant to be buried, but stewarded in His timing.

What motherhood does invite is a reordering of priorities—placing eternal impact above temporary accolades. It means asking not only, “What makes me feel successful?” but also, “What fruit will last beyond me?”

In this light, I am learning to see that motherhood is not the end of identity or purpose, but the widening of it. It is stepping into a calling where unseen work shapes eternal souls, and where success is measured not by titles or paychecks but by faithfulness and love. The world may not always understand or applaud this, but fulfillment in God’s design often looks different from what culture celebrates. It is slower, quieter, and sometimes hidden—but infinitely more enduring.

I hope this encourages you on your journey.

Alethea x

When I felt like I was losing myself — and found something deeper

Published on August 8, 2025 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Somewhere between the third load of laundry and the fourth spilled cup of juice on the carpet, I walked into the toilet, looked in the mirror and wondered — What is this, and where did I go?

I’m a wife. A mother to three precious souls. A homemaker. A nurturer. A giver. And I love them — fiercely. Yet it doesn’t always keep away the quiet ache, a whisper I can’t quite ignore; I miss me.

It’s not that I want to run away from this life. It’s that sometimes I wonder if I’ve been swallowed up by it.

There was a time not long ago when I felt so seen. I ran a small stationery business — The Echoes of Her Heart. It was more than paper and pretty things. It was a ministry. A space where I could pour encouragement into the hearts of Christian women through words and beauty and intentional design. It gave me a voice. It gave others hope. And in it, I felt purposeful — like I was doing something that mattered beyond my four walls.

Closing that chapter wasn’t easy. I let it go slowly, with tears and prayers, not because it stopped meaning something — but because God was shifting the season. He was calling me inward, deeper into the quiet, deeply incredible work of motherhood and building up my home. And honestly? That surrender and shift felt a little like death.

I used to feel independent. Now I ask permission just to go to the bathroom alone.

I used to feel accomplished. Now my victories are things no one sees: a meltdown calmed, a sibling fight diffused, a meal made from what looked like an empty fridge.

The world doesn’t clap for these things. And sometimes, honestly, neither do I.

But also, somewhere in the quiet, I hear a different voice — not my own, and not the world’s.

“Whoever loses their life for My sake will find it.”
— Matthew 10:39

Could it be… that what feels like losing myself is actually where I’m being found?

Not in the platforms I once held, but in the hands and hearts I now hold every day.
Not in being known, but in being faithful, loving, kind, and generous with my life in a different way.
Not in independence, but in total, daily dependence on the grace and strength of God.

I’m learning that letting go of The Echoes of Her Heart wasn’t the end of my purpose — it was a redirection. A reminder that my identity isn’t in what I produce, and not even in motherhood, but in Who holds me. And that ministry doesn’t end just because the form changes. Sometimes it just moves to the kitchen floor, the bedtime story, the sweet hugs and pecks from my sons.

This season asks more of me than I ever thought I had to give. But it’s also giving me something back — a deeper love, a stronger faith, a truer sense of self.

So no, I don’t think that I’ve lost myself in motherhood.

I’m being refined and re-defined.

Not erased. Rewritten.
Not emptied. Poured out — and filled with something better than I ever planned.

And maybe, just maybe, the version of me I’m becoming is closer to who I was made to be all along.

Reframing the perspective for stay at home mums

Published on June 18, 2025 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Choosing motherhood and homemaking is far from a wasted life.

In a world that often equates success with visibility, speed, and accolades, choosing a life of motherhood and homemaking can feel quietly radical.

It’s a path full of unseen moments—toys everywhere, whispered prayers of desperation, patient corrections, and countless acts of service that rarely make headlines. But what the world overlooks, God treasures. This life—your life—is not small. It is sacred.

This post is an invitation to see your everyday with new eyes. To shift from simply surviving the tasks of home and motherhood to embracing them as part of a deeper calling. You’ll find encouragement to anchor your heart in truth, to find purpose in the small things, and to remember that your role carries eternal weight—even when no one else sees it.

What I feel

“This matters”. It is a constant, inner dialogue between my heart and mind—reminding myself that this path, though often unseen or undervalued, holds deep meaning and purpose.

Culture tells me that a successful life looks a certain way—the way of the majority. Because it has been glamorised, measured, and praised, so anything outside that mold can feel small or insignificant.

But the truth is, shaping a home is no small task. Nurturing children, creating peace in a space, building traditions, and tending to the needs of a family requires wisdom, strength, and a kind of love that doesn’t always receive applause. There are no promotions or performance reviews here—only the quiet, sacred rhythms of service and presence.

Still, there are days when the lies whisper louder than truth. Days when dishes pile up, children cry non stop, don’t listen and fight all day, and the world outside feels like it’s rushing ahead while I move slowly, wearily and deliberately, through another load of laundry. I sometimes wonder, Is this enough? Am I enough? And in those moments, I have to claw my way back to what I know deep down: that the unseen work of love is never wasted.

I’m learning that success isn’t always visible, and won’t always feel instant. Sometimes it looks like a child who feels safe, a marriage strengthened by small acts of kindness, or a home filled with peace and a warm meal rather than “perfect”. These things can’t be measured by certificates of well done or accolades, but they matter—deeply. I may not be building a career by the world’s standards, but I’m building something far more eternal: hearts, values, and a legacy of love.

Being at home is a deeply meaningful calling that I am finding is not just shaping my children, but also changing me.

Here are a few thoughts that I hold onto to encourage myself on this journey. I hope they’ll also help you in reframing your perspective if you are a stay at home mum.

1. Recognise the eternal value of your role

It’s easy to overlook the significance of what you do when so much of it happens behind closed doors and without recognition. But motherhood and homemaking are not just tasks—they are eternal investments. Instead of seeing homemaking as mundane, view it as a God-given calling to shape and nurture your family. Proverbs 31:27 says, “She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

Every meal prepared, every gentle and firm correction, every bedtime story and prayer whispered over a sleeping child is a seed planted into a soul. Yes, these quiet, repetitive acts may seem ordinary, and can get tiresome, but in God’s eyes, they are weighty with purpose. We are shaping hearts, anchoring lives, and reflecting His love in the most tangible way. We shouldn’t underestimate the eternal value of our role—it reaches far beyond what the eye can see.

2. Shift from “just a mum” to “A builder of the home”

I heard a good friend of mine refer to herself in this way and it struck me deeply. I thought “wow what a beautiful and thoughtful way to describe your presence and role in your home”.

Maybe you’ve heard it said,—or have said it yourself—with a shrug: “I’m just a mum” ” I stay at home with the kids”. After your journey of pregnancy and childbirth, that phrase just carries a weight of dismissal that doesn’t belong. Motherhood is not a lesser calling; it is a foundational one. How quick we are to forget this.

When we shift our mindset from just a mum to a builder of the home, we begin to see our days differently. We are not merely managing messes—we are laying bricks of stability, love, and faith. We are crafting the atmosphere our families breathe. A builder is intentional, strong, and purpose-driven—and that is exactly what you are. You’re not filling time; you’re forming lives.

The world may minimise homemaking, or trivialise it, but Scripture elevates it. Titus 2:4-5 encourages women to love their families and care for their homes. Instead of saying, “I’m just a stay-at-home mum,” say, “I am building a home filled with love, faith, and peace.” Our work is foundational to a thriving household.

3. Find purpose in the small things

So much of homemaking and motherhood is made up of the small things—folding socks, wiping counters, answering endless questions, preparing yet another meal. It can feel unnoticed, repetitive, and, at times, insignificant. I’ve had days when I felt like I would explode with the overwhelm, yet it’s in these very moments that purpose quietly blooms. I know that God doesn’t just measure worth by grand gestures or public applause; He sees faithfulness in the hidden places, and I have to remind myself that when I choose to serve with love in the mundane, I am living out a holy calling. The small things—done with a willing heart—are not small to Him. They are sacred building blocks of a life poured out in love.

When the days feel heavy or unnoticed, pause and whisper a short prayer over what you’re doing—“Lord, let this simple act be an offering of love.” It helps shift your focus from the task to the purpose behind it. Even a folded towel can become holy ground when done with intention and grace.

4. Prioritise personal & spiritual growth

In the busyness of serving everyone else, it’s easy to forget that your soul needs tending too. But personal and spiritual growth aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines. This is one of the areas that I struggle in often due to sheer exhaustion and lack of motivation at times.

Yet when we pour out daily for our families, we also need space to be poured into- well. Growing in your faith, learning new things, or simply taking quiet moments to reflect are not selfish acts—they’re wise and necessary. A nourished soul creates a nourished home. The more rooted you are in truth, the more grace, patience, and love you’ll have to give. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and God never asks us to run dry.

I start my day—even if it’s just five minutes—with a verse, a journal, or a whispered prayer before the house wakes. It doesn’t have to be long or perfect. What matters is the consistency of showing up and making space for your heart to breathe.

5. See homemaking as a ministry

It can take time to view our homes as a place of hospitality, love, and discipleship. I used to believe that anything worth doing had to be seen and felt by the masses, however ministry doesn’t only happen on stages or in mission fields; it happens right here—in our kitchens, gardens, and bedtime routines. When you begin to see your home as holy ground, the ordinary transforms into something sacred. Your faith is lived out in real time, shaping hearts in the most personal and lasting way.

We are the first example of Christ our families see day in and day out. Our kindness teaches grace, our patience teaches peace, and our sacrifice teaches love over time. Though this kind of ministry may not be noticeable immediately, its impact reaches far into eternity. It’s important to train our minds to start viewing our daily work through the lens of worship. Whisper this simple reminder to yourself: “This is not just work—it’s worship. This is not just a house—it’s a haven.” When we frame our homemaking as service to God, even the smallest acts take on eternal significance.

6. Embrace the season you’re in

Ecclesiastes 3:1 tells us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” It’s a verse I think about often because it helps to center me in the truth that nothing truly lasts forever. Motherhood and homemaking may feel all-consuming now, but this season is temporary. Every season of life brings its own rhythm—some fast and full, others slow and stretching. It’s easy to look ahead and long for the next stage, or to look back and grieve what’s passed (guilty). Yet there is beauty and purpose right where we are.

God doesn’t waste seasons.

Whether you’re in the thick of newborn days, navigating school years, or adjusting to a quieter home, there is something He wants to teach you here. Embracing the season you’re in doesn’t mean it’s easy—it means we are willing to see it as meaningful, even in the mess, the mundane, or the mystery.

When we stop resisting the present and start receiving it, peace begins to grow. It frees us from comparison and expectation and allows us to truly live the moments we’ve been given. This season—whatever it looks like—is part of your story, part of your shaping, and part of the legacy you’re building.

Here’s a tip for you: write down three things each day that are unique to this season and thank God for them. Gratitude softens the edges and helps our hearts settle into the now.

Final thoughts

To the women quietly walking this road—those who have chosen to pour their lives into homes, children, and the unseen corners of daily life—know this: your work matters. It is not small. It is not second-rate. You are part of something sacred, something that will echo through generations. When the world questions your worth, hold fast to the truth: choosing love, presence, and faithfulness is never a wasted life. In fact, it may be the most meaningful work of all.

blooming flowers in vase on table at home

The beauty of homemaking

Published on August 12, 2024December 18, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

One of the beautiful things about homemaking is that as women and mothers we have the gift and the ability to create a beautiful environment in which everybody that lives in it feels loved, treated as though they belong and nurtured so they thrive.

It requires our undivided intentional attention. Our heart, our soul, our efforts, our time, our style, our sacrifice, our willingness, our openness, our strength, our lives. The beauty found in homemaking is really in our ability to personalise and tailor a wholesome life for the people closest to us, to keep loving the one that we have chosen to commit to for the rest of our lives, and to serve the people who have grown and come from our very own bodies.

It is hard, beautiful sacrificial work. It is a worthwhile work that reveals a lot within us so that we can grow and develop in character. The home stands as a testament to the beauty and life of diligent hands and a faithful heart. Within the walls of our homes, joy and sorrow are shared, burdens are lightened, and the spirit finds solace.

The dining table has the potential to become an altar of fellowship, where laughter echoes, tears are gently wiped away, and the bonds of family and friendship are strengthened over shared meals and meaningful conversations. It is in this sacred space that love is nurtured and memories are sown. It is akin to a garden of life where seeds are sown into the hearts of children. Such is the sacred art of homemaking, a divine vocation, where earthly tasks become heavenly acts, and a humble abode is transformed into a haven of holy love.

If we look closely enough, we’ll see God’s goodness in what He has given to us. Our portion is evident of His faithfulness.

Homemaking is a tender art, a symphony of daily rituals that breathe life and love into a home. From the sweep of a broom to the arranging of fresh flowers, each task is a stroke of comfort and care if we see it that way. The homemaker’s touch can bring warmth to every corner, infusing the air with a fragrance that only a woman can bring to her environment when she loves it. It’s in these small, thoughtful gestures that a house becomes a haven, a place where the soul finds rest and the heart feels cherished.

In the morning when we wake up we get to decide on the tone that will be set for our homes. It can be filled with so much purpose, even in the midst of difficulty and challenge. The clinking of dishes, the rustling of pages as lists are made and tasks are planned, all contribute to a rhythm that reflects the reality of a household filled with life.

As a homemaker, you get the chance to dress each room, giving it a story, curated with love and attention to detail and reflecting the unique personality and values of those who live there. As a mama to little children, the season is extremely busy and exhausting. My days begin very early, and end late. The talking never ends, and the training is nonstop It isn’t easy. It requires much work and intentionality. It requires our life, and it is worth every seed sown.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of motherhood and faith. If you found comfort and encouragement in this post, I invite you to explore more of my writings on similar topics.

Why is motherhood so hard?

How do I balance family and personal life?

9 hacks to help you thrive in motherhood

Affirmations for mothers at home

On my blog, you’ll discover a wealth of stories, tips, and reflections aimed at nurturing your spirit and supporting you through the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

From practical advice on balancing daily responsibilities to heartfelt reflections on deepening your relationship with God, there’s something for every season of motherhood. I’ve shared real-life experiences, lessons learned, and moments of grace that I hope will resonate with you and provide the encouragement you need.

Visit my blog for more posts on creating a peaceful home, finding joy in the little moments, and leaning into God’s strength amidst the challenges. Let’s continue this journey together, growing in faith and love, one step at a time.

Alethea

crop pregnant black woman touching belly

I am feeling lost in motherhood

Published on August 3, 2024December 18, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Musings of a 30 something year old Christian mother with 3 boys.

One of the most suffocating and overwhelming feelings, is the one of feeling completely lost and unsure about the journey of entering and experiencing motherhood. In this post I’ll be sharing some personal thoughts, heart and experience.

A high achiever

I’ve always been a high achiever and producer, fully buying into the culture’s message that I can be anything and do anything. While that may be true in a wider context, it isn’t so much when you bring it down to a more micro level. I chased hard after the title of 1st place on the podium and achieved it multiple times. I had my dreams of what success would look and feel like and pursued it with all the time that I had as a single woman.

While I built up that area of my life however, I didn’t give enough time, thought, planning and nurture to the other part of my life that I desired which was marriage and motherhood. Sure, it was there as part of my overall plan, however it didn’t occur to me to devote much preparation of my heart, finances and life plans to it straight away. I naively thought that I’d have children and neatly fold them into the plans that I had going on and keep it moving.

Society’s message to us

Modern society fails to encourage and prepare women for the realities of motherhood, and this further intensifies what will already be a new and challenging role to exist in. We live in a world that frequently emphasises career achievements and personal independence and the sacrificial and demanding nature of motherhood is often times undervalued and overlooked. In addition to that, I think that because we live in a culture the heavily pushes one message, it naturally filters through into our homes, and the expectation is that when you finish school, you’ll go and get a job and start earning.

While there is nothing wrong with this, I do believe that it is important for women to talk about and begin to plan how they’ll weave in work with family life when the time comes. Never in my mind or heart did I perceive that it would be an all consuming, life changing event that would completely shift the course that I was on and challenge my character, faith, values and heart. I had an aggressive edge to me that I can now admit was a lower view of marriage and motherhood. Not that it wasn’t important, but it just wasn’t the priority. My value, identity and reward was found in the applause that I received from the marketplace; the plaques, certificates and trophies from strangers.

Yet there was a tug toward motherhood which I believe God gives us. What grace. It’s a natural wiring for (the majority) of women to desire to have children but because I had devoted so much of my time and energy in the other direction, I felt completely alien to this new world of motherhood. I remember the joy of finding out that I was expectant with my first born son, and also the complete terror that plagued me at the thought of entering into the complete unknown. A place where I for once would not have full control. My anxiety went into overdrive.

What is our value tied to?

Our value is tied up in the external things that we achieve, and the inward validation is like the strongest dopamine hit running through our veins. It feels unthinkable to lay that aside to enter into a completely new experience and embrace all that comes with it in motherhood (which is mostly unseen, and “in the trenches” work). For me, I struggled with the genuine disappointment of having wasted time and money getting a degree that I didn’t fully get to use because I was now a mother. I wanted a “big” life, which when I think about it now, was one driven heavily by consumerism and the ability to spend on whatever I wanted.

I thought about the sacrifice of motherhood, but I didn’t reflect on the depth of love that it would require of me, and how that love would call me up, and challenge me to redefine my measures of success and fulfillment. It has honestly been a tug of war in this area, and yet as I exert my energy to pull on my part, I am also becoming undone in my heart. I am being refined.

Motherhood, while a divine calling and a tremendous blessing, can often leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed. From a Christian perspective, this sense of being lost can stem from the immense pressure to fulfill the roles of caregiver, nurturer, and spiritual guide all at once. The Bible calls mothers to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), which can sometimes feel like a daunting and never-ending task.

In the pursuit of meeting every physical, emotional, and spiritual need of our children, we can find themselves grappling with feelings of inadequacy and exhaustion. The constant demands makes it hard to find time for personal reflection and spiritual renewal, leading to a sense of disconnection from our own identities and from God.

A hope

Feeling lost in motherhood is very common, and if you clicked on this post, I want you to know that you aren’t alone. It is a journey that we are on, and if we truly let it, it’ll refine us into the best version of ourselves. That was the driving factor for me creating Graced For Home and sharing a little more about how I left the corporate world to be a stay at home mum in this season of my life. It’s also the reason I created the Homemakers Framework to encourage all mothers to begin to think about the home, own their presence their and see the beauty that can be found in building a life from there.

Take heart and find solace in the profound truth that you are not alone, and your efforts are deeply valued. In the midst of exhaustion and doubt, remember that God’s grace is always sufficient. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 reassures us, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Your imperfections and struggles do not diminish your worth or your ability to be a wonderful mother; rather, they highlight your reliance on God’s strength and wisdom.

Embrace the supportive community around you, both within your faith and beyond. Lean on fellow mothers, friends, and family for encouragement, practical help, and shared experiences. Remember that God has uniquely equipped you for this role and that your love and dedication are shaping your children’s lives in ways you may not always see. In the moments of quiet reflection, seek God’s guidance and find peace in His presence. You are fulfilling a sacred calling, and with each step, you are making a significant impact. Your love, patience, and perseverance are reflections of God’s love for your children, and in Him, you can find the strength to continue this beautiful journey.

Here are some posts to help on the practical side of things:

How do I balance personal and family life?

How to deal with overwhelm

5 ways to be productive at home

How to create a fun learning environment for your children

How to be happier at home

Be in touch soon,

Alethea

crop faceless overwhelmed black man covering face against wall

How to deal with overwhelm as a mother

Published on July 31, 2024December 18, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

Oh, how I understand the weight of motherhood!

It’s a beautiful, sacred journey, but it can also be incredibly overwhelming. There are days when it feels like the to-do list is never-ending, and the demands on our time and energy feel impossible to meet. But take heart mama, for you are not alone. Wherever you are reading this today I hope you can use this moment to exhale and just BREATHE. Grab a cup of tea, as I share some ways to navigate the overwhelm, drawn from my own experiences and our faith in God’s unending grace.

One morning, I woke up to the sound of my toddler’s cries, and my other two boys fighting over a toy that they had snuck into their room the night before. My heart sank as I tried to ignore the sounds, hoping my husband would take one for the parent team. He was fast asleep! I stumbled out of bed, already feeling defeated before the day had really begun. Have you ever had a day start like that? In moments like these, it’s easy to feel crushed by the weight of our responsibilities. But I’ve learned that when we start our day with a quick prayer, asking God for strength and guidance, it can transform our outlook. Even a simple, “Lord, help me today,” whispered in the chaos, can bring a sense of calm and remind us that we’re not carrying this load alone.

The power of routine

Another way to tackle overwhelm is by embracing the power of a routine. My mornings used to be a whirlwind of forgotten tasks and last-minute scrambles as everyone bounced around me. But once I started setting aside a little time in the evening to prepare for the next day, things began to shift. A quick 30 minutes to lay out clothes, prepare lunches, and even spending a few quiet moments with God’s Word before bed can make a world of difference for the next day.

Proverbs 31:27 speaks of the woman who “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Creating a routine doesn’t mean we have to be perfect; it’s about finding a rhythm that brings peace to our days. Even waking up a few moments before the children will help you to gather your thoughts before everyone else wakes up. My morning routine typically begins with a workout, writing or reading, all before the boys wake up, and it really helps me to feel like I am doing something for myself- filling up my own cup before I focus on pouring into others.

Perfection doesn’t exist

When we first become mothers, perfection is the thing that can completely consume us. There was a season when I felt like I had to do everything perfectly – be the perfect mum, the perfect wife, the perfect homemaker. But one day, as I sat exhausted and so close to tears, a dear friend reminded me that it’s okay to ask for help. Galatians 6:2 encourages us to “carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Don’t be afraid to reach out to your spouse, family, or friends when you need a hand. Whether it’s asking your husband to watch the kids so you can have a moment to yourself or arranging a playdate swap with a fellow mum, sharing the load can lighten your heart immensely, and ease the overwhelm that we often feel

I also want to encourage you to carve out time for self-care, without guilt. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray (Luke 5:16), showing us the importance of rest and renewal. For me, this looks like a quiet walk in the evening or morning, a few minutes of journaling or reading, or even just sitting in the car for a few extra moments after grocery shopping. Find what replenishes your soul and make it a regular part of your routine. Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for you to pour out love and care for your family.

Creating a “thrive list” has been a game-changer for me in navigating the demands and sacrifice in motherhood. This list includes all the things that bring me joy and fulfillment such as reading a good book, taking a walk in nature, enjoying a hot cup of tea, or spending quiet time in prayer. By intentionally setting aside time to engage in this, I ensure that I don’t lose myself in the daily responsibilities of motherhood. It’s a reminder that nurturing my own well-being is essential, not only for me but also for my ability to be the best mother I can be to my boys. Making space for what I love helps me to thrive, maintaining a sense of balance and joy in the beautiful chaos of raising children.

You can download yours for FREE here and put it in a place where you’ll see it and be encouraged to pour into yourself.

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The power of community

Lastly, Remember the power of community. Surround yourself with other mothers who understand the ups and downs of this journey. Join a local mums’ group, attend church events, or even connect online through social media. Sharing your struggles and victories with others can be incredibly uplifting. We are meant to support one another, just as it says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

In all these things, hold onto the truth that God’s grace is sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9). We don’t have to be perfect; we just have to be present and willing to trust Him with our daily struggles. Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint, and by leaning on God and each other, we can find the strength to keep going, even on the hardest days.

You’ve got this mama.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of motherhood and faith. If you found comfort and encouragement in this post, I invite you to explore more of my writings on similar topics.

Why is motherhood so hard?

How do I balance family and personal life?

9 hacks to help you thrive in motherhood

Affirmations for mothers at home

On my blog, you’ll discover a wealth of stories, tips, and reflections aimed at nurturing your spirit and supporting you through the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

Blessings,

Alethea

person holding baby s feet in selective focus photography

Supermums are a myth (but faithful mums are real)

Published on July 10, 2024December 18, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

My husband watched on as I juggled the demands from our 3 boys while preparing dinner, and planning family activities on a calendar. “Wow, you are a superwoman, how do you do it?” I didn’t respond because to be honest I didn’t know what to say in that moment. He often uses this phrase for me and I am quick to remind him that I am not superwoman. I am very much a woman who needs help and support because I don’t want to create an illusion that I have it all together!

We’ve all heard the saying “she’s a supermum” to describe a mother who seemingly excels in all areas of her life, often juggling multiple roles and responsibilities with exceptional efficiency and effectiveness. This can include managing a household, raising children, working a full-time job, maintaining a social life, staying physically fit, and being involved in community or school activities.

She does it all and this incredible “supermum” is often portrayed as handling these diverse and demanding tasks effortlessly and without showing signs of stress or fatigue. Some of us envy this type of mum, others work so hard to embody her, and the rest wonder how they’ll ever live up to this ideal of a woman. Whichever camp you sit in, I am here to tell you that you can take a deep long breath! Super mums aren’t miraculously created, but faithfulness to our homes is what the true goal is and where the prize lies.

I wanted to title this post originally as Faithful Mums: The true heroes beyond the supermum myth as it also truthfully echoes the reality of what we live out each day. As a Christian mother, striving for the title of “supermum” can often leave us feeling exhausted and inadequate, chasing after an impossible ideal. Striving in our own effort to fulfill a divine calling in our own strength only sets us up to feel discouraged and overwhelmed when we realise just how much the role of mother entails. We are human. We fall short, we have challenges and set backs, and we are imperfect- But God.

In God’s eyes, our faithfulness to our families holds far greater value, than us over exerting ourselves to meet shifting societal markers. Faithfulness means showing up each and every day with a hearts posture to be committed to what God has called us to- in the good and the bad. It means showing up with love, grace, and consistency, embracing the unique calling God has given us within our homes. It’s in the daily acts of care, the moments of prayer, and the intentional nurturing of our children’s hearts where “super” moments are found.

God doesn’t call us to be perfect and to have it all together. He calls us to be present and focused. When we prioritise faithfulness over perfection, we model His unwavering love and faithfulness to our children. Some days may flow really well, and other days may be very challenging. Through it all, if we determine in our hearts to not give up on what God has given us, and to count it all as a blessing, we’ll be able to connect our hearts with the right action.

This is the true essence of motherhood, far surpassing any worldly notion of being a “supermum.” In fact, if we are seeking to build lasting and deep relationships with our children, they need a Christ-dependent mum more than a supermum who wants to flow and present life perfectly well all the time.

How can we be faithful?

Some aspects of mothering are simply mundane and normal. There are laundry piles to fold, schedules to manage, food to pick up from the floor dishes to wash and floors to sweep. If we approach these tasks with our whole hearts, they too embody faithfulness to the calling of motherhood.

Waking up each day and determining within our hearts to be faithful is the first step to accomplishing this goal. Starting each day by seeking God’s guidance and strength, asking Him to fill us with His peace and wisdom helps to position our minds in the right place. Prayer anchors us in His presence and aligns our hearts with His purposes. Make it a habit to pray with and for your family, inviting God into every aspect of your daily life. Through prayer, we find the resilience to face challenges and the grace to extend love even in difficult moments.

Secondly, embracing the beauty of small, consistent acts of love is so so key. Faithfulness is often found in the ordinary moments – a kind word, a listening ear, a gentle touch, a hug. Celebrating these seemingly mundane acts as significant contributions to our family’s well-being is so important to making love feel tangible. It’s not the grand gestures but the daily demonstrations of love and care that build a strong, loving home. Remember, it’s in the little things that our faithfulness shines the brightest.

Thirdly, cultivating a heart of gratitude goes a long way. Regularly take time to count your blessings and express gratitude for your family helps to shift our focus from what we lack to the abundance we have in Christ. It fosters a positive atmosphere in our homes and helps us to see our family members through God’s eyes. By modeling thankfulness, we teach our children to appreciate the goodness of God in their lives, encouraging contentment and joy.

Lastly, weaving in rest and self-care into our routines is key to preventing burnout and helps us to remain feeling refreshed in our roles . As mothers, we often pour ourselves out for our families, but it’s essential to recognise our own need for rest and renewal. Jesus Himself took time to withdraw, rest and pray, setting an example for us. Find moments to recharge, whether through reading Scripture, enjoying a hobby, or simply taking a walk in nature. When we care for ourselves, we are better equipped and ready to to care for our families with faithful patience.

By grounding ourselves in gratitude, we can remain faithful to our families in a way that honours God and nurtures those we love. Let us cast aside the pressures of being “supermums” and instead, find joy and fulfillment in being faithful mothers, steadfastly reflecting Christ’s love and perseverance in our homes.

Alethea

Discover the joy and fulfillment of creating a loving, organised, and faith-filled home! Download my free eBook, “The Homemakers Framework,” for practical tips, encouragement, and inspiration tailored for mothers and homemakers. Start your journey towards mastering home management and nurturing your family’s well-being today. Get your free copy now and transform your home into a sanctuary of love and grace!

My help comes from the Lord

Published on May 23, 2024May 23, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

There are days when I don’t know whether I am going or coming…

I feel an overwhelming sense of grief- partly because of what I see going on around me, and also from internal thoughts. However paradoxically I am at peace because I know that I am in the place that I need to be. I am positioned where God needs me to be in order to be pruned.

Character development is crucial.

I ask the Lord of a few things, frequently. Strength to help me to stand against the enemy, a discerning spirit to know what to pray against, and for the Holy Spirit to take control of my mind. I have no strength apart from what He graces me with. Since I left career I have not blogged about my experience because quite frankly I have not been able to articulate the experiences, and I do not feel as though I actually have my feet on the ground…

To say that the past few months have been a blur and a whirlwind is a serious understatement. How can multiple thoughts, feelings, emotions and knowledge all co-exist and be activated all at the same time?

I suppose that is where I should be though right?

In my weakness His strength is made perfect. In my weakness, I find myself clinging unashamedly to His hope and the cross even more. In my weakness I dare not even boast in my own ability.

One MAJOR thing that I didn’t even think about, are the enemy’s attacks. They have become more vivid and more visible than I have ever experienced them to be. The past few weeks have been filled with a variety of attacks from terrible dreams, thoughts, irritations, frustrations and physical obstructions and injuries.

Until I realised…

How could I make such a bold step for the Lord and not expect the enemy, my adversary to rage. WOW.

His obsessive preoccupation is to steal from me, to kill dreams and to destroy my life (John 10:10). He will go after any and everything, subtle and obvious. He seeks to ravage my soul with his lies and and blind me to the truth of God’s goodness and provision for my life. He seeks to convince me of failure and hardship, convince me that there is something wrong with me when in fact there is everything wrong with him.

He throws things my way all to evoke anger, jealousy, annoyance and resentment regarding many things. It is very hard and it can be discouraging. Fear creeps in. I feel lost and doubtful. As soon as my mind starts to trail onto these things he ponces on them.

I realise that I have a very real enemy as a woman who stands for the things of God and who is seeking to live His way. This enemy is a terrorist to my soul..

However he does not get the victory because my Bible tells me in 1 John 4:4, But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I am intentional about deciding to bat away his lies by not entertaining his deceiving thoughts that come into my mind.

Be encouraged mama…

Our responsibility is to ask the Lord to help us seek out the subtle things that the enemy goes after. For me it was the seduction and temptation to accept something into my life that will ultimately take me off track and distract me from my journey. This came in the form of discouragement and doubt.

My prayer is Lord help me to discern the enemy’s work in my life.

My weapons against him are;

The Word, praising God, continuing to walk in obedience, faith, prayer, worship, and fasting.

I realise that the greater my commitment to the Lord, the more the enemy will try to attack. Whenever there is a move into a new season of your life/work/ministry he will do all he can to wear you down with discouragement, sickness confusion, guilt, strife, fear, depression or failures. He threatens your mind, emotions, health, work, family and relationships. I realise that Abba has given me this portion to diligently engage in spiritual warfare. I cannot afford NOT TO.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 –Though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

You see when we go through things in life we have to know that it is not in our own strength to overcome. God is at work behind the scenes- even in the seemingly ugly. We must continually stand on God’s Word, and hope in Him alone. This season of my life is EPIC and I look at all the things that God is doing with me right now! Cast them down with the authority that I have been given. My life is beautiful not because of any material/outward possession.

My life is beautiful because I have Jesus Christ and He alone is my strength and hope. Forever.

Stay encouraged, be encouraged my love. Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ Jesus no matter the storm or life experience.

How to be a content mother

Published on March 10, 2024March 10, 2024 by Alethea Awuku3 Comments

Contentment is a very big area of our lives and it really can affect our level of happiness and joy as mothers. It is such a nuanced and interesting topic that affects us all. This journey of motherhood that we are on is marked by profound love, joy, and sacrifice for our children, and as a Christian, I realise that my own contentment is ultimately rooted in the delicate dance between trusting in God’s providence, working diligently and purposefully, and having faith that God does, and can change my circumstances.

In the midst of this beautiful journey of raising my children, I sense another struggle within me which are feelings of “am I satisfied? Am I happy? How can I experience joy and fulfillment as I work hard to serve, love and be there for everyone else in my home?” These are searching questions and I ponder on them constantly because one thing that I am personally committed to, is being a happy and fulfilled woman and mother not only for my children, but for myself.

My contentment is often linked to my expectations of what I believe I should have, and where I believe I should be in life and I think part of what can create discontentment in motherhood, is dealing with the reality of limitations. When we become mothers, it’s inevitable to face certain limitations inherent to this role, because it is a distinctive journey unlike any other. We enter into a new season of life which requires a lot of shift and adjustment.

In our age of social media where curated images of perfection abound in all areas of life, it’s all too easy to fall into the trap of measuring our worth against carefully positioned and placed images and videos that display a standard and yardstick which we must all meet. While inspirational, we can find ourselves on a torturous cycle of constantly questioning our decisions, doubting our capabilities, and endlessly chasing after an idealised concept of motherhood that doesn’t truly exist- not 100% of the time anyway!

The arrival of our children brings countless blessings, but it also ushers in personal and relational (with our spouses) challenges that can test even the most resilient of us. Overnight, our lives change and our days become filled with endless demands, sleepless nights, and a constant juggling act to balance the needs of our children with our own desires and aspirations. How can we feel as though we are ok and not forgotten and unseen in the midst of it all? It’s a tough one that requires practical application grounded in scriptural direction.

Contentment and limitations

Very real and normal limitations to our lives and lifestyles will look different for each mother and I am learning that in order to cultivate contentment well, and find joy, I have to (by faith) adjust my expectations – bend them if you will to my current limitations. High expectations are good, and needed in some areas of our lives as they drive us forward to achieve goals, however I have experienced that my unmovable stance when it comes to my expectations being met in a very specific way actually creates overwhelm for me because it collides head on with my reality which in most cases is different. This then leaves me either frustrated or paralysed and feeling like I am suffocating under it all.

So what can we do? Adjusting our expectations to our limitations can help produce thankfulness, progress and good fruit in our hearts and lives. This is where the faith aspect comes in because it requires a willingness to surrender our desires and expectations to God, trusting that His plans for our lives—and the lives of our children—are far greater than we could ever imagine (Jeremiah 29:11). We live in a fast paced all or nothing world where passionately pursuing our own fulfillment is the norm, so anything that appears to threaten this is seen as a negative thing, even if it’s our own children.

Reconciling our expectations with the reality of our current lives is a great challenge that we’ll always have to find balance with, but in doing this well, I believe that we’ll be able to enjoy and accept the current season for what it is- good and bad while having hope toward something different in the future.

Many of us experience the mourning of our freedom and opportunities when we become mums. The pressure to “have it all” and continue exceling in every aspect of our lives—career, family, relationships—can weigh heavily on our shoulders, leaving us feeling like we are perpetually missing the mark. Natural comparison to other mums who seem to have it all figured out can increase our feelings of discontentment, frustration and disappointment.

Either your a boss babe that can do it all, a stay at home mother who has opted out of the pursuit of career and financial rewards, or a mixture of both. Either way, the issue of contentment comes up because we are women, a lot of us are very capable, and we want to feel as though our output in life matches with the financial reward and our inherent sense of worth.

Even though our once familiar routines become disrupted, and our priorities shift, adjusting our expectations to our limitations can help to shift our focus from impossibility to possibility which is so encouraging! I’ll give two examples from my life.

My personal experience: two examples

I really enjoy exercising, and before I had children, I had the freedom to workout without interruption, I could go to gym classes, or use the gym if I wanted to. My life in this season looks very different as I have had to cancel my gym membership and workout from home. In the beginning I absolutely hated it and felt resentful towards the fact that I couldn’t have my time the way I wanted to.

I felt very annoyed for a good few months. Why should I have to miss out on what is really important to me? I don’t enjoy working out at home at all and enjoyed the change of environment and focus at the gym. Well I have had to adjust my expectation to this limitation and instead of struggling against it, I have had to bend my will (painfully on a lot of days) to my reality, and redirect my thoughts to see the opportunity of how I can make good with what I can do now. I now workout early in the mornings when the boys are asleep, and I have actually grown to enjoy it. Some times they wake up, and when they do they play around me.

I am always having to train my mind from seeing the lack, to being thankful that I can still have time and opportunity to do something. If this should change in the future, I’ll gladly take it (!!) but for now, this will do and in accepting it as a good thing, good fruit is growing from it.

Another area is in the area of teaching the boys our native language (Twi). This has been a desire of mine since we got married 8 years ago. My husband speaks it fluently, but what is my limitation? I don’t. It didn’t stop me from having very high expectations for myself and my children though and I have wanted them to learn to speak and understand from an early age. As you can imagine this has brought a lot of frustration and feelings of failure as I am no where near the goal of speaking it fluently and passing it down to the boys.

Then I realised that the high expectation was a huge burden that was paralysing me from moving forward. The mountain just felt so huge. So I had to adjust my expectations to my reality by deciding that if all I can do to encourage our culture is work with the boys on a few words etc, translating for them (because I understand the language), songs, and stories, it is still a great seed sowing investment. They may not grow up speaking fluently, but they will still know about their heritage and hopefully have an appreciation and love for it, which is ultimately what we want! Settling my heart in this has brought the joy back in teaching them Twi.

Hope in finding contentment

Amidst the challenges that we face, there is hope for our journeys. Finding contentment after motherhood can feel like this grand finish line that we all need to reach, but I think it’s actually something that God wants us to diligently embrace while we are on the journey. That’s when our eyes and heart open up to see His goodness and faithfulness to us as we grow and encounter new and different life experiences. Acknowledging and accepting the inherent challenges of motherhood can co- exist with immeasurable joy and fulfillment.

We have the liberty to explore our interests and passions, nurture relationships, take time to pour into ourselves with the things we enjoy and so much more within motherhood because we have this new role that propels us forward into a stronger version of ourselves daily. We just have to take our time, breathe and trust that as long as we maintain a healthy balance, perspective and level of discipline, we can attain a lot of our goals. It may just look different to how we want to do it!

Finding contentment in motherhood requires a shift in our mindset which is a conscious choice to embrace the beauty and imperfection of our lives. Contentment is not static- a do once and finish with it type of thing. It is meant to be a daily pursuit (and let’s be real, fight sometimes) to drink from the fresh flowing water of grace available to us each day as we ask God to renew our minds, strengthen us, help us live purposeful and disciplined lives, and above all to anchor our joy, worth and value in Him and not in the world.

Here are two scriptures which I hope will encourage you in this area of contentment.

Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:11- 13

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Matthew 11:28-30

How do you deal with cultivating contentment in your own life?

New seasons… the unknown

Published on January 22, 2024 by Alethea AwukuLeave a comment

There is a certain apprehensive feeling that we all go through as we prepare to enter into a new season of our lives. It can be a new job, entering into a relationship, starting school, marriage, parenthood, or a large financial commitment.

Entering into a new season of our lives is like walking into the unknown because well, it is unknown to us regardless of how much we have ‘prepared ourselves’ for it. Our feelings can have us feeling strange – wondering if the thoughts we have are justifiable, reasonable, normal, or a signal that God is using to steer our hearts towards His voice in a season. Have we made the right decision or not?

Many times, when we are approaching something new, we feel uncertain because we have no control over what we will find when we open the door. We may profess that we have faith because we really do want to have faith, but deep down the feeling of apprehension may be gently gnawing at us telling us to err on the side of caution, or abandon our ambitious pursuit altogether.

In the many twists and turns, and new seasons of my life I have learnt something profound that I pray remains with me until I meet my saviour face to face. In the unknown moments of my life, God has an incredible opportunity to demonstrate His faithfulness to me. God is always faithfully providing for us and tapping us to see His provision and hand in many of the things that we go through, but sometimes we just never see it because we have grown comfortable in the security of being able to have reasonable controls over the variables in our lives.

It is only when we come face to face with the unknown- when we come face to face with our answered prayers, or a test that God is cheering us on to overcome that we contend with the feelings of uncertainty and our knees buckle a little.

God has shown me that instead of allowing the fear of uncertainty to overwhelm me, I should use it as an opportunity to allow my faith to grown in Him, and to cling onto Him rather than my own reasoning mind, and I must exchange what I see or don’t see, with His Word that builds up faith in my heart.

2 Corinthians 12:9-11

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.