There are days when I don’t know whether I am going or coming…

I feel an overwhelming sense of grief- partly because of what I see going on around me, and also from internal thoughts. However paradoxically I am at peace because I know that I am in the place that I need to be. I am positioned where God needs me to be in order to be pruned.

Character development is crucial.

I ask the Lord of a few things, frequently. Strength to help me to stand against the enemy, a discerning spirit to know what to pray against, and for the Holy Spirit to take control of my mind.  I have no strength apart from what He graces me with. Since I left career I have not blogged about my experience because quite frankly I have not been able to articulate the experiences, and I do not feel as though I actually have my feet on the ground…

To say that the past few months have been a blur and a whirlwind is a serious understatement. How can multiple thoughts, feelings, emotions and knowledge all co-exist and be activated all at the same time?

I suppose that is where I should be though right?

In my weakness His strength is made perfect. In my weakness, I find myself clinging unashamedly to His hope and the cross even more. In my weakness I dare not even boast in my own ability.

One MAJOR thing that I didn’t even think about, are the enemy’s attacks. They have become more vivid and more visible than I have ever experienced them to be. The past few weeks have been filled with a variety of attacks from terrible dreams, thoughts, irritations, frustrations and physical obstructions and injuries.

Until I realised…

How could I make such a bold step for the Lord and not expect the enemy, my adversary to rage. WOW.

His obsessive preoccupation is to steal from me, to kill dreams and to destroy my life (John 10:10). He will go after any and everything, subtle and obvious. He seeks to ravage my soul with his lies and and blind me to the truth of God’s goodness and provision for my life. He seeks to convince me of failure and hardship, convince me that there is something wrong with me when in fact there is everything wrong with him.

He throws things my way all to evoke anger, jealousy, annoyance and resentment regarding many things. It is very hard and it can be discouraging. Fear creeps in. I feel lost and doubtful. As soon as my mind starts to trail onto these things he ponces on them.

I realise that I have a very real enemy as a woman who stands for the things of God and who is seeking to live His way. This enemy is a terrorist to my soul..

However he does not get the victory because my Bible tells me in 1 John 4:4, But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.

I am intentional about deciding to bat away his lies by not entertaining his deceiving thoughts that come into my mind.

Be encouraged mama…

Our responsibility is to ask the Lord to help us seek out the subtle things that the enemy goes after. For me it was the seduction and temptation to accept something into my life that will ultimately take me off track and distract me from my journey. This came in the form of discouragement and doubt.

My prayer is Lord help me to discern the enemy’s work in my life.

My weapons against him are;

The Word, praising God, continuing to walk in obedience, faith, prayer, worship, and fasting.

I realise that the greater my commitment to the Lord, the more the enemy will try to attack. Whenever there is a move into a new season of your life/work/ministry he will do all he can to wear you down with discouragement, sickness confusion, guilt, strife, fear, depression or failures. He threatens your mind, emotions, health, work, family and relationships. I realise that Abba has given me this portion to diligently engage in spiritual warfare. I cannot afford NOT TO.

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 –Though we walk in the flesh we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but they are mighty through God for the pulling down of strongholds, casting down imaginations and every high thing that exalts itself above the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.

You see when we go through things in life we have to know that it is not in our own strength to overcome. God is at work behind the scenes- even in the seemingly ugly. We must continually stand on God’s Word, and hope in Him alone. This season of my life is EPIC and I look at all the things that God is doing with me right now! Cast them down with the authority that I have been given. My life is beautiful not because of any material/outward possession.

My life is beautiful because I have Jesus Christ and He alone is my strength and hope. Forever.

Stay encouraged, be encouraged my love. Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ Jesus no matter the storm or life experience.